Friday, June 29, 2007

Birthday ALARM

Rapper DJ Shadow is 35.

Actor Gary Busey is 63.
Comedian Richard Lewis is 60.
Drummer Ian Paice of Deep Purple is 59.
Singer Don Dokken of Dokken is 54.
Singer Colin Hay of Men At Work is 54.
Actress Maria Conchita Alonso is 50.
Singer Evelyn Champagne King is 47.
Actress Sharon Lawrence (Fired Up,NYPD Blue ) is 46.
Actress Amanda Donohoe is 45.
Actress Melora Hardin (The Office ) is 40.
Country guitarist Todd Sansom of Marshall Dyllon is 29.
Singer Nicole Scherzinger of Pussycat Dolls is 29.

FUN FACT (ANOTHER FOR CHRIS): On this day in 1997, Mike Tyson bit off a piece of his opponent Evander Holyfield's ear during a boxing match.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Birthday ALARM

Actor Gil Bellows (Ally McBeal ) is 40.

Comedian-director Mel Brooks is 81.
Bassist Dave Knights of Procol Harum is 62.
Actor Bruce Davison is 61.
Actress Kathy Bates is 59.
Actress Alice Krige is 53.
Actress Jessica Hecht (Friends,The Single Guy ) is 42.
Actress Mary Stuart Masterson is 41.
Actor John Cusack is 41.
Actress Danielle Brisebois (All in the Family ) is 38.
Actress Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris ) is 36.
Bassist Tim Nordwind of OK Go is 31.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1969, Stonewall riots began in New York City.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

John Stamos is having whatever Paula Abdul had...

Live on MSNBC Smackdown

trANNy Coulter was on Hardball last night twirling her bleached-out split ends while spewing her nonsensical, superficial diatribe when out of nowhere, Elizabeth Edwards jumped into the ring and hit her with a double handspring back elbow smash.

Here's more of the interview:

I was so disgusted by her “I’d rather have their civilians die than our civilians die” that I decided to turn the tv off shortly thereafter and watch the rest on my dvr after work today. Then this morning Joe Scarborough (yes, I watch morning joe on msnbc) mentioned the Elizabeth Edwards' call and I felt like Celebrity Hijinx should start their morning off with a little Ann Coulter hate/ass kicking. She leaves the glasses on so we can't see her glowing devil eyes.

Rosie Still Making Waves

It's nearly been a month since RoRo left The View, and she's still be able to both stay in the spotlight and create controversy. I think she's wonderfully open, aggressively argumentative sometimes, but mostly a pretty cool lady.

Well, this time, Rosie is in the news for stirin up some controversy. Rosie went and posted a picture of her daughter, Vivi, on her blog. In this picture, the ADORABLE child is wearing a strap with plastic bullets.

Here is what some of her "fans" had to say about it:

Neelie: That is a horrible picture of Vivi!!

Karlaro: I agree with you on mostly everything. But somehow I found the picture of Vivi disturbing. I don't even let my children play with anything similar to that. It's just a comment. But oh well!!!!!

David: that picture is gross! I am disturbed...leaving your site for a clearing of my mind as to what you are up to!Keep reading for more Rosie readers revolting. Yeah, I have the alliteration in me!

Rosie finally responded today on - here's what they had to say:

O'Donnell also addresses the issue in her Ask Ro section. One reader wonders, "Ammunition belts like that aren't sold at toys r us. What would prompt her even [to] want to do that without a little help from you? SAD!"

Replies O'Donnell: ""

Indeed, a search of the site turns up the $6.99 Bandolier Bullet Belt Deluxe, described as "A great accent for your military or cowboy costume!" One caveat: "These are costume accessory bullets intended for decorative purposes only. (These are NOT real.)"


Birthday ALARM

Actor Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man ) is 32.

Singer Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys is 65.
Actress Julia Duffy (Newhart ) is 56.
Actress Isabelle Adjani is 52.
Country singer Lorrie Morgan is 48.
Actor Yancey Arias (Kingpin ) is 36.
Singer Leigh Nash (Sixpence None The Richer) is 31.
Actor Drake Bell (Drake and Josh ) is 21.
Actress Madylin Sweeten (Everybody Loves Raymond ) is 16.

FUN FACT (FOR CHRIS): On this day in 1979, Muhammad Ali announced his retirement from boxing.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Questionable Quotes: Germany Doesn't Like Nazis or the Scientology "cult" or Tom Cruise

Defense Ministry spokesman Harald Kammerbauer said the film makers "will not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology cult."

"In general, the Bundeswehr (German military) has a special interest in the serious and authentic portrayal of the events of July 20, 1944 and Stauffenberg's person," Kammerbauer said. Stauffenberg had been deeply opposed to the Nazis' treatment of the Jews and planted a briefcase bomb under a table near Hitler in his "Wolf's Lair" headquarters on July 20, 1944. The film, slated for a 2008 release, will be directed by Bryan Singer and co-star Kenneth Branagh. It is called "Valkyrie" after Operation Valkyrie, the plot's codename. In a statement, Wagner said von Stauffenberg is characterized as a "heroic and principled figure." "We believe it (the film) will go a long way toward reminding the world that even within the ranks of the German military, there was real resistance to the Nazi regime," she said. [source]

Birthday ALARM

Actor Jason Schwartzman (Slackers,Rushmore) is 27.

Actor Robert Davi (Profiler ) is 53.
Musician Mick Jones of The Clash is 52.
Actor Gedde Watanabe (ER,Sixteen Candles) is 52.
Singer Chris Isaak is 51.
Singer Patty Smyth is 50.
Bassist Colin Greenwood of Radiohead is 38.
Writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson (Magnolia,Boogie Nights) is 37.
Actor Sean Hayes (Will and Grace) is 37.
Actor Matt Letscher (Good Morning, Miami) is 37.
Actor Chris O'Donnell is 37.
Actress Kaitlin Cullum (Grace Under Fire ) is 21.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1870, the Christian holiday of Christmas was declared a federal holiday in the United States.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Mood Music: J-New and Her Band of Favorites

I love that picture. There's something dramatic about the wind in her hair and the elaborate dress she's wearing. She's Joanna Newsom, and she's quite possibly my favorite musician on the planet. That said, I know there are those who will disagree with my enthusiasm for Joanna, and to them I say, go f*ck yourself. I'm too old to care about the music you listen to, so shut up about mine. :-)

Anyhoodle, has everyone reading been to Pitchfork before? For those of you who haven't, please click the hyperlink above and check that shit out. If you're like me and you love learning about new music, you need to head over there now and click around. Pitchfork often interviews really great artists, and they do this thing called Guest List, where each week, they ask one of their favorite artists to fill them in on what they've been up to lately: "which tracks they can't stop spinning, what books they can't put down, and what new bands they've caught on tour."

Last week they featured Joanna Newsom, and here's what she had to say:

Favorite Songs of the Past Year:
Lindsey Buckingham: "Shut Us Down"I love him.
Meg Baird: "The Waltz of the Tennis Players"It's a gorgeous cover of a gorgeous Fraser and Debolt song. I love her voice so much.
Macromantics: "Moments in Movement"The whole record is amazing, but my favorite song is the title track. Either that or "Apple Crumble". My sister and I drove around doing errands yesterday and hollering along to, like, every third word on this album. That's all we could manage 'cos Romy, the singer, goes so fast.
Bill Callahan: "Taken"A gorgeous B-side from the "Diamond Dancer" single.
Alasdair Roberts: "Firewater (Library of Aethers)"Perfect.
Ned Collete: "Blame"
Sinead O'Connor: "Jah Nuh Dead"
Bonnie "Prince" Billy: "Strange Form of Life"

Favorite Older Songs at the Moment:
The Zombies: "This Will Be Our Year"
Harry Nilsson: "Gotta Get Up"Junior Murvin: "Roots Train"

Birthday ALARM

Actress Linda Cardellini (ER, Brokeback Mountain) is 32.

Singer Carly Simon is 62.
Keyboardist Allen Lanier of Blue Oyster Cult is 61.
Actor-comedian Jimmie Walker is 60.
TV personality Phyllis George is 58.
Actor Ricky Gervais is 46.
Singer George Michael is 44.
Rapper Candyman is 39.
Actress Angela Kinsey (The Office ) is 36.
Bassist Mike Kroeger of Nickelback is 35.
Actress Busy Phillips (ER,Dawson's Creek) is 28.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1947, The Diary of Anne Frank was first published.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Photoshop Fun

Watch this:

Now this:

Editor's note: While I understand video #2 was meant to be a parody, it just so happens that my life experience leads me to believe that this is what happens in reality. Women evolve from not-so-cute to hot while men evolve from good-looking to well...that. Seriously, go to your 10 year high school reunion, find the hottest guy in your class and then call me and tell me I'm right.


Announced at a press release earlier:
Following weeks of speculation, the Spice Girls are set to make an official announcement to the world regarding future plans on Thursday, June 28. Details regarding the announcement will be released in the coming days,” said the statement, released Friday.

Hags and Gentlemen our prayers have been answered, all these years I have been awaiting to hear those 5 magical voices whispers shitty lyrics into my ears again, and today it happened. Daaannnng Posh looks fierce in this photo, grrr!

One Needling Blind Vice

Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity...the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin' while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least.

Lately, F2's once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn't the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned 'bout our gal Fakey. See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags...until recently. She's known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin' heretical here in lip-cemented T-town! Apparently, Ms. Ef's hiding one helluva secret. And I'm the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers 'n' shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She's got what's known as...a heroin habit.

Well, she's hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It's just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin' broad happens to be as of late. Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what's really behind Fake-à-la's rapidly withering figure? It'll be "Paris who?" should that happen, trust. It ain't: Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa or Kiera Knightley It probably is: Angelina Jolie? She used to do heroin in her younger years. She's super skinny. It would be a huge scandal. She used to be sexy. She's into charitable endeavors and entertainment projects. She has a hunky man. Her mother just passed away which is a huge stressor. ...if the needle fits.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Pimp My Baby

Larry Birkhead is shakin' his money maker in OK! Magazine this month. He says: "She also gets what she wants exactly like her mom always did as soon as she'd pout." Fabulous - so she gets a duffel bag full or drugs with her morning bottle? ?! Hopefully Dannilynn doesn't maintain her infantile behavior through adulthood like her mom. If she does, at least we know Daddy will be her drug runner.

Celebrity Clone: Ang n Paris

Some chick who really looks like Angelina Jolie as Angelina Jolie:

Good Old Natalie Reid as Paris Hilton:

RoRo: The Gayest Star is Born

Admit it or not, The View does make for some good television. Honestly, I think it was great to have Rosie O'Donnell on the show because it gave that asswipe Hasselhoof a platform to get her dumb opinion out there. She has every right to prove herself retarded, and before Rosie, I think she was just too shy.

Regardless, everyone's asking who's going to replace Rosie, and some folks are saying that it might be a man. GASP! There are two in the running:

  1. Mario Cantone
  2. Ross Mathews

Now, Mario Cantone is like a friend of the show, and he's funny sometimes, but mostly he's annoying. Just not my cup of tea. This other guy though, Ross Mathews, is fucking hijinx! Check him out. I assume you'll love him or hate him. Either way, he has my vote!


Birthday ALARM

Actress Juliette Lewis is 34.

Actress Jane Russell is 86.
Actor Bernie Kopell (The Love Boat) is 74.
Actor Ron Ely (Tarzan) is 69.
Singer Brenda Holloway is 61.
Actress Meredith Baxter (Family Ties ) is 60.
Actor Michael Gross (Family Ties ) is 60.
Drummer Joey Kramer of Aerosmith is 57.
Actor Marc Copage is 45.
Actor Doug Savant is 43.
Musician Justin Cary (Sixpence None The Richer) is 32.
Guitarist Mike Einziger of Incubus is 31.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2000, Section 28 (outlawing the 'promotion' of homosexuality in the United Kingdom) repealed in Scotland with a 99 to 17 vote.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Think Green: Casey Affleck TOO Hot for TV

Casey Affleck, Ben's hotter younger brother who is about to appear in the film Oceans 13, tells fans why he shuns meat and why he chooses not to support an "industry that makes unhealthy products by torturing animals."

Above is the original ad which will not air on network television. PETA and Casey have been forced to create a toned-down version of the PSA that the networks will agree to air. Why pussyfoot around it? You might as well know where your food comes from.


How Cute Is This?

It's nice to see politics somewhat in touch with pop culture entertainment. Bill Clinton manages to nail a little bit of Tony Soprano's mannerisms at the table.

Birthday ALARM

Actor Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama ) is 36.

Actress Olympia Dukakis is 76.
Actor Danny Aiello is 74.
Actor John Mahoney (Frasier ) is 67.
Musician Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys is 65.
Actor John McCook (The Bold and the Beautiful ) is 62.
Singer Ann Murray is 62.
Home repair show host Bob Vila is 61.
Singer Lionel Richie is 58.
Actor John Goodman is 55.
Musician Murphy Karges (Sugar Ray) is 40.
Actress Nicole Kidman is 40.

FUN FACT (FOR CHRIS): On this day in 1980, Roberto Duran started his classic boxing trilogy with Sugar Ray Leonard by defeating him in Canada by a decision in 15 rounds, to gain the WBC world Welterweight championship.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Celebrity Clone: A Real Clone Edition

Look, it's Jessica Simpson. No wait, there's Jessica Simpson.

I wonder if she pays that girl to be her thinspiration. Ok chubbs, stand in front of me while I work out. 10 more minutes, 10 more minues or you'll look like that. I kid, the clone is probably normal weight and Jessica Simpson is just ridiculously tiny.

Birthday ALARM

Actor Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine ) is 23.

Actress Gena Rowlands is 77.
R&B singer Al Wilson is 68.
Singer Spanky MacFarlane of Spanky and Our Gang is 65.
Actress Phylicia Rashad is 59.
Singer Ann Wilson of Heart is 57
Actress Kathleen Turner is 53.
Country singer Doug Stone is 51.
Singer Mark DeBarge of DeBarge is 48.
Singer-dancer-choreographer Paula Abdul is 45.
Singer-guitarist Brian Vander Ark of the Verve Pipe is 43.
Actor Andy Lauer (Caroline in the City ) is 42.
Actress Robin Tunney is 35.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1978, first comic strip of Garfield was published. This day is considered Garfield's birthday.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Questionable Quotes: Note to 50 Cent - Next Time It Might Be Beneficial To Attack Someone A Little Less Influential

50 Cent doesn’t like Oprah. OOOOOoohhh….a rapper doesn’t like someone. Shocking. I’m sure Oprah(the richest African American of the 20th century, the most philanthropic African American of all time, the world's only black billionaire for three straight years and according to more than one appraisal, the world's most powerful woman) hasn’t slept since she heard the news that the crack-dealer-turned-bulletproof-vest-wearing/bullet-hole-laden rapper isn’t her #1 fan. First Fiddy accused Oprah of catering to “older white women.” Since that wasn’t particularly hateful, he called her an Oreo. In case you’re haven’t been studying your racial slur handbook recently - it means white on the inside, black on the outside. Now he’s bashing her again with:

"She doesn't ever say anything that anybody from the ghetto is gonna ID with. Take a poll. You go out and find me some young black women who ID with Oprah...She can escape the fact that she's black because she's a billionaire."

Wait a second…”Escape the fact that she’s black?” What is he talking about? Didn’t she just build a school for girls in Africa? Maybe Fiddy should sign up. Poor thing. I think Fiddy's starting to get a little confused in the head. Must be lead poisoning.

Celebrity Clone: Mommy and Me Edition

Baby Angelina Jolie and her mom (in the old picture on the left) are the 70's clone of Angelina and Shiloh. This is picture proof that my godson is going to have his very own Angelina Jolie when he grows up!

Eating for Two?

I don't care if she's got a bun in the oven, this one's barely eating for one, let alone two. Last week Nicole Richie continued to fertilize rumors that she is with child, abstaining from alcohol at an Yves Saint Laurent pool party.

I think this one's pregnant with problems.


Birthday ALARM

Actress Isabella Rossellini is 55.

Musician Paul McCartney is 65.
Movie critic Roger Ebert is 65.
Actress Constance McCashin (Knots Landing ) is 60.
Actress Linda Thorson (The Avengers ) is 60.
Actress Carol Kane is 55.
Singer Alison Moyet is 46.
Country singer-guitarist Tim Hunt (Yankee Grey) is 40.
Singer-guitarist Sice of The Boo Radleys is 38.
Singer Nathan Morris of Boyz II Men is 36.
Rapper Silkk The Shocker is 32.
Country singer Blake Shelton is 31.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1967, Jimi Hendrix burned his guitar on stage at the Monterey Pop Festival.

Friday, June 15, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Happy Father’s Day

Carey Whitlow was taking a trip to the store and realized he forgot his cell phone. When he went back into the house, his 3 year-old daughter climbed on top of his truck. He drove for almost 5 miles, unaware his toddler daughter was hanging off the top of his camper. You know his Whitesnake tape was too loud. She eventually let go, fell off the truck and then got up and started running after the truck. A passing motorist saw her fall. Carey still had no idea that the daughter just fell off the top of the moving truck when his wife called saying their daughter was missing. They were reunited in her hospital room. The daughter is doing well. The parents should be fired. [source]

It's Friday Afternoon. Do You Want to Go Home Early...

...but you can't because well, life's a bitch and so is your boss? Instead, visit Stanley Bing's blog (of Fortune Magazine) and take the "Is Your Boss Crazy Quiz," then you can either find out how to deal with your boss once you confirm complete psychosis or just submit your wild story about your very own insane boss. If you are fortunate enough to not have a crazy boss, you can just read about them for fun. Enjoy.

YOUR YouTube FIX: Give Me Your Car Title and I'll Make You Look Rich for A Day

I've been watching Judge Mathis on DVR and ususally I fast-forward through the commercials but there's one I always stop on - CashPoint. CashPoint is a car title loan company. The moral of the commercial is always "have your broke ass take out a loan on your cheap ass car and blow the money." I mean don't go from broke to tuxedo in .2 seconds. This place is probably loan default heaven.

I Feel Old

The other day I ran across this boy on myspace - I used to babysit him when he was like 7. He's graduated, smokes weed, has a girlfriend and dropped out of college. I immeditately called my spa to find out how much it would be to have my forehead botoxed. $240. Not bad. This morning I saw this recent picture of Pee Wee Herman (right). He needs to retire Pee Wee because he's looking like the Playhouse is about to become a Retirement Home. Insert really annoying laugh here. Ok, time to go back to my personal crisis.
Then vs. Now

One Effed-Up Blind Vice

Now, I’ve heard of studios having it in their stars’ contracts (or, at least, agreed to under the proverbial slutty table) for them to hook up off camera, just to drive the rag-addicted ones into a ticket-buying frenzy, but did you ever think such plotting poop-heads would ask their leads to...bust up? Nope, nor did I. I’m such a romantic fool, ya might say, never thought that one would go down. But go dirty-down, it did. Well, at least it’s supposed to, when Virginal Vexed finally goes public with the fact that she’s broken up with her gorgeous and multitalented guy, Bi Cepps. Oh, how damn twisted is this town, already? Don’t answer that. Instead, read on:

Prom Night Naughtiness is expected to pack 'em in, certainly in the teeny-pimply crowd, that’s fer sure. The soon-to-be released flick is—how shall I put this?—a groundbreaking hotbed of entertaining yet importantly cheesy effects and moods. Typical kinda pic that’ll make audiences scream yet feel like they’ve left actually learning something, ya know? Like Courteney Cox taught us in Scream 3 that all us journos are evil, right?

Regardless, Ms. Vee thinks her man is pretty demonic, has for some time now. Could that be why everybody she’s worked with on her past films wants to boil the potty-mouthed witch in oil, with Joan Rivers' excised body parts for proper seasoning? But that’s not the point, which is simply that, conveniently for Virgy, Prom’s distributor requested that V. and her man, Bi, break up shortly after the film’s release, just to ensure that much more mindless lapping from the more gossipy movie fans. This is not a joke. It ain't:Jessica Alba/Cash Warren; Vanessa Minillo/Nick Lachey; Naiomi Watts/Liev Schriber. HMMM...Who's virginial these days, seriously? I don't think Hilary Duff has a boyfriend.

Aww, Nuts!

French tennis player Marc Gicquel was nailed in the balls by a 208 km/hr serve from his opponent Benjamin Becker today at the Halle ATP tennis tournament in Germany. The hit temporarily crippled him, but Gicquel came back to defeat Becker 6-2, 7-6.


This guys hail from Cambridge, MA and I personally think they're an amazing group. Eloquent, magnanimous, thoughtful, and smart as hell, these guys are what local talent really means.

Birthday ALARM

Actress Courteney Cox Arquette (Dirt) is 43.
Actor Jim Belushi is 53.
Actress Julie Hagerty (Airplane) is 52.
Actress Helen Hunt is 44.
Drummer Rob Mitchell (Sixpence None The Richer) is 41.
Rapper-actor Ice Cube is 38.
Actress Leah Remini (King of Queens ) is 37.
Actor Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser, M.D. ) is 34.
Guitarist Billy Martin of Good Charlotte is 26.

FUN FACT: Today, Bob Barker's last show of "The Price Is Right" is scheduled to air.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I Vote "OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like ok like" as Britney Spears' New Album Title

I don't know if Britney Spears' website was hacked, she thinks she has a sense of humor or she's still in the midst of a breakdown. The site starts off with a quote "You'll Never See it My Way, Because You're Not Me." Poetic. Then she wants her fans to help name her new album. The options are:

  1. OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like Ok like
  2. What if the Joke is on you
  3. Down boy
  4. Integrity
  5. Dignity
You have to pay to vote. Meanwhile, her mom is talking to the tabs: "Everything is going to be good," Lynne Spears tells the magazine. "Everything is going to be really good. I can see her life picking up and it's just going to hold great things for her." "Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children," says Spears. "She's just figuring things out." So Brian and Jamie Lynn are just petulant, invulnerable, hateful little creatures. I mean, they don't even show their private parts in public.

Birthday ALARM

Actress Traylor Howard (Two Guys And A Girl) is 36.

Actor Gene Barry is 88.
Actress Marla Gibbs is 76.
Actor Jack Bannon (Lou Grant ) is 67.
Singer Rod Argent of The Zombies and Argent is 62.
Singer Janet Lennon of The Lennon Sisters is 61.
Businessman-TV personality Donald Trump is 61.
Drummer Alan White of Yes is 58.
Actor Eddie Mekka (Carmine on Laverne and Shirley ) is 55.
Actor Will Patton is 53.
Singer Boy George is 46.
Actress Yasmine Bleeth is 39.
Actor Daryl Sabara (Spy Kids ) is 15.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2002, American Roman Catholic bishops meeting adopted a policy to bar sexually abusive clergy from face-to-face contact with parishioners but keep them in the priesthood.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

JT Got Me Lovestoned... or just plain stoned... who knows?


She Did It Again

Britney Spears achieved a lady-part-exposing trifecta this week while hitting the clubs. Such a magical sight.

Xtina Aguilera Preggars!

Honest to Pete, bitches be pregnant all the time. Every time I turn around, someone else has got a bun in the oven, and now rumor has it that Christina Aguilera is preggars. So, is being pregnant the new black?

Celebrity Baby Blog writes, "We have been hesitant to post, especially after a rumor earlier this year was wholeheartedly dismissed by her publicist, but we now hear from two reliable sources that Christina Aguilera, 26, really is pregnant."

Last week, Christina and her husband Jordan Bratman were seen leaving Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, then popped up again at the Maternal Fetal Medicine Association in NYC on Thursday. Christina has also been taking pains to hide her stomach behind a notebook and large scarves and sweaters. But then again, we all know that girl can accessorize to DEATH.

Perhaps even more telling, Christina's usually quick-to-deny rep instead issued a statement saying,

"I cannot confirm."
Another source said,

"Christina is totally pregnant. We've known for weeks. She's about 10 weeks."
If the time line is true, this would give Christina an early January due date.

SHIT! Mr. Wizard Died!

Don Herbert, who for what seems like a million years, taught youngsters like myself the wonders of science as "Mr. Wizard," died on Tuesday. He was 89. Goddamn.

Herbert, who had been battling bone cancer, passed away at his home in suburban Bell Canyon, California.

In the '80s, Herbert starred in Mr. Wizard's World on Nickelodeon. Check out the commercial for the show up above there. Funny shit.

Not his death. The show, duh.

Birthday ALARM

Actresses Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen are 21.

Magician Siegfried of Siegfried and Roy is 68.
Singer Bobby Freeman is 67.
Actor Malcolm McDowell is 64.
Singer Dennis Locorriere of (Dr. Hook) is 58.
Actor Richard Thomas is 56.
Comedian Tim Allen (Home Improvement ) is 54.
Actress Ally Sheedy is 45.
The Early Show co-host Hannah Storm is 45.
Rock musician Paul deLisle (Smash Mouth) is 44.
Singer David Gray is 39.
Singer Deniece Pearson of Five Star is 39.
Musician Soren Rasted (Aqua) is 38.
Actor-singer Jamie Walters is 38.
Singer Rivers Cuomo of Weezer is 37.
Actor Steve-O (Jackass ) is 33.
Singer Raz B (B2K) is 22.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, a jury in Santa Maria, California, acquit pop singer Michael Jackson of molesting a 13-year-old cancer survivor at his Neverland Ranch.

Mood Music: Paris' Jail Theme

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Couture du Jour: Opposite Game

Question: What's completely hideous and is the opposite of a tankini. Answer: Uma Thurman's bathing suit.
Seriously, what is that thing? I know she has kids and all but Christ, there's no excuse for that...

Paris Hilton Is Not Dead can all sleep well tonight. CNN, ABC and Yahoo were victimized by bogus reports of Paris Hilton's death in jail. She was not stabbed multiple times with a shank. She did not hang herself with a bed sheet. She was not beaten by the warden.

According to Barbara Walters (coincidentally the first person I'd call if I was ever sentenced to jail) Paris is spending her time in jail having a spiritual awakening. She claims she used to "act dumb" and "that act is no longer cute." Seriously? She's serious? She thinks God has given her a new chance by throwing her ass in jail. It took a trip of jail to make God care - forget about the sex tapes, n-words, Exposed websites, herpes rumors, breakups, makeups, breakups, vagina flashings, nip slips, million dollar lawsuits, DUI arrest, car accident, car accident, car accident, drug rumors, etc... I would believe all of this "playing dumb" stuff if she didn't drop out of high school to dance on tables wearing nothing but a pair of underwear and a cut off shirt that said "Got Blow." Seriously, she's a 26 year-old dropout - that's one loooooong act and unfortunately I have to stay until the end of the play. I have no choice really.

While Paris is finding "god" (which is probably just prison slang for coke), her parents are supposedly trying to earn some $$$ by shopping the idea of a "Get Out Of Jail Party" for Paris
to the top Las Vegas clubs, including Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the Palms. A source told PageSix and Paris' dad was originally asking for a $50,000 cash fee to be paid, as well as accommodations and flights. Pure and Hard Rock said 'no' flat out, but George Maloof, who owns the Palms, didn't say yes or no. He happens to be friends with Paris. Nothing says "spiritual awakening after a DUI" like a party in Vegas...execpt maybe Lindsay Lohan leaving rehab to celebrate her 21st birthday in Vegas. Or maybe this all just sounds like "what a bunch of crackheads." [source]

Celebrity Clone: Superhero vs. Villain

Accused murderer Edwin Hall was adopted at age 7. We need Maury to see if he's the biological brother of Tobey McGuire.

Broken Promises

Britney Spears was out and about clubbing last night. She flashed 1/8 of a nip and her pantied-ass. You guess the substance:

Maupin's Masterpiece

Those who don't read Armistead Maupin may have no idea who Michael Tolliver is, but those who do may be thrilled that a new story in the saga of "Mouse" has arrived on bookstore shelves.

The celebrated Tales of the City author is back with another volume called Michael Tolliver Lives.

Maupin told the San Francisco Chronicle, which originally serialized the Tales series beginning way back in 1976, that he was initially scared of his approach: "I was nervous that people following the series might be thrown off by a first-person novel that has all the characters treated equally."

He says that the main themes of the book deal with getting older:

"I wanted to illuminate the process of growing older as a gay man, and make it easier for people who think life is over. Gay men who are growing old are incredibly lucky to be here....if I'd known that 63 was going to feel this good, I would have been a lot more cheerful along the way. Age is the last closet you come out of in the gay world. There are such gloomy visions of gay men aging. But if you worship beauty above all else, if you worship sex above all else, you're in trouble. If you're not working on your heart every second, you are going to have a very sad old age."

Maupin lives with his partner Christopher Turner who is 27 years his junior. The age difference is a fact that doesn't phase Maupin in the least, he told afterElton last August:

"I think [aging is] the central issue of our generation. There are a lot of people out there who are trying to figure out how to be good old gay people — how to do it well, how to be the best you can for your age. In my case that has to do with trying to be the best version of 62 I can imagine. Not to try and recreate something I felt I had 30 years ago. Interestingly enough, my partner, Christopher, runs a personals website for men over 40. I actually met him on the site. I saw this handsome 34-year-old there that made my heart beat faster. I bumped into him in the street a few months later and asked him for a date."

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom declared Tuesday "Michael Tolliver Day" in San Francisco.

Tales of the City may be one of the best stories ever written. If you don't know, GET TO THE LIBRARY AND READ IT. Changes lives.

Via Towleroad

Birthday ALARM (slept in)

Singer Robyn is 28.

Singer Vic Damone is 79.
Actor-singer Jim Nabors is 77.
Jazz musician Chick Corea is 66.
Sports announcer Marv Albert is 66.
Singer Reg Presley of The Troggs is 64.
Drummer Bun E. Carlos of Cheap Trick is 56.
Country singer-guitarist Junior Brown is 55.
Singer-songwriter Rocky Burnette is 54.
Actor Timothy Busfield is 50.
Singer Meredith Brooks is 49.
Rock musician John Linnell (They Might Be Giants) is 48.
Rapper Grandmaster Dee of Whodini is 45.
Blues guitarist Kenny Wayne Shepherd is 30.

FUNNIEST SHIT EVER: On this day in 1920, the United States Postal Service ruled that children may not be sent via parcel post.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Lindsay Lohan's Bodyguard Tells All - Quits Job After Coked-Up Lindsay Attacks Gun-Wielding Beverly Hills Drug Dealer – Apparently Job too Dangerous

The crazed world of cokehead Lindsay Lohan is blown wide open by the burly bodyguard who quit looking after her... because it was too DANGEROUS. Lee Weaver has told of his two years of hell with the stroppy starlet as the News of the World reveals yet more worrying pictures of Lindsay — this time wasted in her squalid bedroom. Weaver, 48, tells how the 20-year-old Mean Girls star:

  • ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off.
  • SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge.
  • SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet".
  • ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.
  • Here's the fun story:
  • "I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay is," says Lee, 48. "She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met. "I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I'd breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive." Lee spoke out after seeing our pictures of drunken Lindsay last week, pretending to cut a pal's throat with a kitchen knife. But any weapon — even a gun — doesn't faze her if she's gagging for cocaine. "In April she asked me to take her to her dealer in Beverly Hills. I knew if I refused she'd go alone — so I took her.

    "He was waiting for her in some bushes. Suddenly she started screaming and punching him for selling her short. "He pulled a gun. I got out and he threatened to shoot me unless I got her to back off — but she kept hitting him. Luckily he got distracted and I punched him down. "I dragged Lindsay into the car and drove off but she was screaming at me to go back. It was like Pulp Fiction. I knew then she was just too dangerous to be around." Lee reveals how he often drove Lindsay to join her pal Nicole Richie, 24, for cocaine binges. "Nobody was as wild as Lindsay," he says. "But Nicole came close. Sometimes Paris Hilton would be there but the most I saw her do was drink and strip.

    "One night Lindsay and Nicole were making trip after trip to the bathroom — she wouldn't snort in front of me because she knew I'd get mad. "But the more wasted they got the less she cared. In the end they carried in a mirror from the bedroom, laid it on the coffee table and emptied a mountain of coke onto it. They went at the stuff with straws, hoovering it all up then piling more on. "I tried to tell Lindsay to stop but she just told me it was cool. After ten hours I'd had enough and threatened to throw the mirror out of the window. I had to carry her out to the car." But that was no surprise — Lee had been carrying her home since first night he began working for her. His first job was to take her to a party in Beverly Hills. "She'd been snorting all night," he recalls. "As soon as they walked into the party she was snorting more. She got on the coffee table and danced, flinging her dress above her head, her eyes rolling about all over the place. "I told the guy providing the drugs to stop and he just said, ‘No way, Lindsay will go berserk'. Then she started screaming at people and swinging her fists around at anyone near her. "At the start of the night she seemed such a fun-loving, angelic girl but under the influence of drugs she was psychotic. It was 10.30am the next day by the time I carried her to bed."

    And when she wasn't snorting coke, she was snogging GIRLS. "She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills," says Lee. "I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs. "I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey's bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl." When she wasn't snogging them she was just as likely to attack them. One night, paranoid Lindsay went for blonde actress Jessica Simpson in a club. Lee says: "Jessica was sat with her pals and Lindsay became convinced she was shooting her dirty looks. "She jumped over the table and dived at Jessica pulling her hair out. I had to pull her off her."

    As Lindsay spiralled more and more out of control she started to self-harm, cutting her wrists with a knife. "One night I looked at her hands and wrists and noticed they had bright red wounds all over them," says Lee. "She tried to tell me she had fallen but when I looked her in the eyes and demanded to know the truth she just broke down. "She told me, ‘I don't belong on this planet any more'. She said she cut herself because she did not think life was worth living. "The pictures in your paper of her fooling with knives show how disturbing her behavior is." So do today's pictures taken of her partying in her messy booze-littered room, half-dressed, looking painfully thin and spaced out. They emerge just weeks after Lindsay went into rehab for the second time in six months after crashing her Mercedes into a tree.

    Lee — who earned £1,500 a week as her bodyguard — is now writing his memoirs about the years he spent minding stars, including Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt, Eddie Murphy, Pamela Anderson, Jamie Foxx and Hollywood's most infamous drug addict Robert Downey Jr. But the minder, who also tells of his adventures on his website, says Lindsay was the biggest handful of all of them. "I'd never even heard of her when I was asked to do the job. She was only 18 but guarding her was a nightmare and the stress it put me under was unbearable. "I would pray every night she wouldn't kill herself on my watch. "I desperately hope she stops doing drugs but I fear that will only happen when either she kills someone else with her reckless ways — or kills herself."

    What a mess.

    YOUR 15 MINUTES: Ms. Butts the Toilet Paper Caper

    "They said they seem to go through a lot of toilet paper at the courthouse," said Police Chief Lon Walker. Police said one of the employees caught Suzanne Marie Butts, of Marshalltown, Iowa, taking the two-ply from the women's bathroom and called police. The courthouse parking lot attendant said he knew about toilet paper going missing. "I've heard they call it the toilet paper caper," said parking lot attendant Gene Seim. Police said they caught up with Butts outside the courthouse Friday, and she was hiding the toilet paper in her shirt. Butts told NewsChannel 8 that it was the first time she had stolen toilet paper and that her attorney said not talk. The courthouse workers told police they suspected something was up. "She's facing three years incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Walker said. "Normally, that would be a simple misdemeanor," Walker said. Police said that on Friday, Butts was arrested on charges of stealing $30 from a family member.That makes four theft charges against her. A judge will decide what punishment fits this crime. [source]

    Birthday ALARM

    Actor Shia LaBeouf (Holes,Even Stevens) is 21.

    Actor Gene Wilder is 74.
    Comedian Johnny Brown (Laugh-In) is 70.
    Actress Adrienne Barbeau (Maude) is 62.
    Actor Peter Bergman (The Young and the Restle) is 54.
    Actor Hugh Laurie (House) is 48.
    Country singer Bruce Robison is 41.
    Bassist Smilin' Jay McDowell (BR5-49) is 38.
    Bassist Dan Lavery of Tonic is 38.
    Rock musician Tai Anderson (Third Day) is 31.
    Actor Joshua Jackson (Dawson's Creek) is 29.

    FUN FACT: On this day in 2002, Antonio Meucci was acknowledged as the first inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress. TAKE THAT Alexander Graham Bell!

    Friday, June 08, 2007

    Quote It!

    Questionable Quotes: That Giant Thing With Her Face

    Holly and Hef are sooooo in love. It was love at first sight. Well, not really according to a new (rather scathing) article in Elle Magazine:Hefner alludes in passing to the fact that Holly, who wasn't his instant type the way Kendra was, set her sights on him rather than the reverse: "She found me and she loved me." He goes on to explain that she doesn't look the same as when he first met her, that she "became beautiful," helped by "a little thing she had done to her nose."

    You don't say. She has to be pissed...I bet pillows and silk pajamas (and maybe a fist) were flying at the mansion. I think he was being nice. I would've said "she became better looking after Ty Pennington and his Extreme Team came in and remodeled her whole face." Great, now I have a Backstreet Boys song stuck in my head. Anyway, according to PageSix, Hef praised the author of the article.

    YOUR 15 MINUTES: MySpace and Murder

    Eeeeeeeveryone has a MySpace these days, darling, everyone. Last year, someone uncovered the creepy MySpace profile of Tom Stephens aka "The Bishop", a suspect in the murders of five women in England. Now someone has uncovered the possible MySpace of Edwin Hall, the 26 year-old man accused of kidnapping 18-year-old Kelsey Smith at a Target and killing her. Only the name "Jack," which Hall is known by to neighbors, is used on the MySpace page, and the picture posted strongly resembles the 26-year-old who is married with a 4 year-old son. The person on the MySpace page also uses the same age and location as Hall, and a person with the same name as his wife, Aletha, has a page linked to "Jack's." ...and apparently he likes to eat small children. Both profiles have been deleted. Alas, I have the text from his profile: Leave it to the good, old internet - someone has copies of his site here , his wife's site here and a blog here. “Sweet Troubled Soul”
    Male 26 years

    United States

    Jack’s Interests

    General: eating small children and harming small animals, or maby ua reaing and ua painting photography is cool, want to own my own company someday
    Music: Lacuna Coil, H.I.M, And a lot of trendy EMO bands, (No not really)

    Movies: anything that pushes the envalope, A clockwork Orange, Srangeland and lets not forget horror movies!!!! yea scary (or cheesy)like both
    Television: Lost Dead like me and eureka is cool
    Books: House of leaves- daniel Z. The Dark Tower Series- Kingand also Koontz , Lovecraft all the greats. o yea also the telaphone book, (its a page turner!!!)
    Heroes: Batman, and my dad (The bastard)

    Jack’s Blurbs

    About me:
    Its never what it seems untill you look inside the book, and those people you look up to are not as cool as they think. I love reading and to paint though I dont have enough time for either. fast cars are nice and hope
    to own one someday( a fast one Im not a looser I have a car)

    Who I’d like to meet:
    Gandi why, well to seem interesting and “with it” cause we all know its all aboutwhat others think right?

    Last Login: 6/6/2007

    Jack’s Details
    Status: Married
    Here for: Networking, Friends
    Orientation: Straight
    Hometown: Emporia
    Body type: 5′ 9″ / Athletic
    Ethnicity: White / Caucasian

    Zodiac Sign: Libra
    Smoke / Drink: No / No
    Children: Proud parent

    Education: High school
    Occupation: Millwork Specialist

    Another interesting development with this case is that another young girl, 17 year old Kara Kopetsky, went missing in early May only about 6 miles from where Kelsey's body was found. Im not sure if we didn't hear about it because she's not All-American enough or something... At this time, some police are saying the events are unrelated and some police are saying they're investigating the possible connections. On May 4th, Kopetesky went missing. "There's been no contact she hasn't called there's been no bank activity," her mother, Rhonda Beckford said. The Beckford's are following Kelsey's case, hoping it will lead to answers in Kopetsky's investigation. "It's almost one month to the day that Kara came up missing that Kelsey came up missing," her stepfather James Beckford said. "They said it was abnormal for that to happen. They said she has no reason to leave or runaway. Kara had no reason to leave or runaway," Rhonda Beckford said. When her mother walked into Kara's bedroom, nothing was missing."Her dresser is full," Rhonda Beckford said Thursday as she opened one of her daughter's dresser drawers. None of her clothes are gone, and her iPod and phone charger are on a bedroom table, something the 17-year-old's mother said Kara would never leave behind. "If this was planned, she would have taken clothes and she didn't," Beckford said while holding a missing poster of her daughter. "If she had to buy clothes, she would have had to use her debit card, and she didn't." [source]

    Again, this is a friendly PSA from CH to think about the potential ramifications of MySpace. Your MySpace could be used against/for you if you're a victim/suspect/criminal. It can be used to paint whatever kind of picture the press wants to paint. ...aaaaaaaaaaand your friends could be people you really don't want to be friends accused killers and stuff. Really kids, pay attention..I say this because I love our readers, not because I'm turning into a paranoid old lady! I'm not. Really. I promise.

    Birthday ALARM

    Rapper Kanye West is 29.

    Comedian-talk show host Joan Rivers is 74.
    Singer Nancy Sinatra is 67.
    "Dilbert" cartoonist Scott Adams is 50.
    Actor-director Keenan Ivory Wayans is 49.
    Actress Julianna Margulies is 40.
    Actor Dan Futterman is 40.
    Actor David Sutcliffe ("Gilmore Girls") is 38.
    Actress Kelli Williams ("The Practice") is 37.
    Actor Mark Feuerstein ("West Wing") is 36.
    Guitarist Mike Scheuchzer of MercyMe is 32.

    FUN FACT: On this day in 1984, homosexuality was declared not a crime in the state of New South Wales, Australia.

    Thursday, June 07, 2007

    Anorexia Chronicles: A Vision of Unhealth

    I didn't watch American Idol this season...actually I never watched American Idol...but the moral of the story is that I managed to completely, totally ignore it this season. I didn't even know the name of one contestant. Anyway, Meme Roth - president of National Action Against Obesity went on Fox News like a week or two ago and called Jordin, the winner, obese. I heard about this a week or two ago (I don't watch Fox News) and didn't care until I actually saw Jordin. She's like seriously 6 feet tall and not fat. Bitch needs to shut up because you know Jordin is going to pull a Carrie Underwood and lose 84 pounds in two months. Way to make a bunch of normal teenage girls have image problems. The National Action Against Anorexia is going to be working overtime.

    "When I look at Jordin I see diabetes, I see heart disease, I see high cholesterol. [...] That's what's so sad about this - she is not the vision of health - she is the vision of 'unhealth'". UNHEALTH - brilliant, really. Mariah Carey should write a song about that.