Every Time A Sex Tape Is Made, A Kitten Dies...

Sad but true, Kevin Fed-Ex denies that he and Brit Brit ever made the nasty on film. "There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence," Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, said in a statement issued today.

"It goes without saying that the stories of Kevin attempting to sell such a video are patently false and anyone who reports that they have information of such attempts is either lying or reporting the lie of someone else," the statement continues...

Supposedly, Kevin was trying to sell the alleged tape and had already been offered nearly $50 million for the rights.

This dude is complete poison, I know. I admit, I'm a sucker for a bad-ass attitude and a back hand here and there. How sweet would it have been to have seen if Federspunk had a huge wang? It's no suprise his sperm are as strong as 10 chariots of fire, but how big is his gun? I guess we'll never know. FUCK!

[source]