Denial Denial, I Love You Denial....

For most people, two trips to rehab, a car accident and two incidences involving cocaine found in your property in less than a year would likely be rock bottom. Apparently for Lindsay Lohan, it isn't. After yesterday's DUI her lawyer fired off this statement:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

Now here's Lindsay's statement to Access Hollywood's Billy Bush:

"Yes. I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Would you like an extra side order of denial to go with your already extra-denialy denial casserole? It's only an additional 50 cents. Lindsay and her lawyer can't even get their stories straight. Lawyer says Lindsay is an addict. Lindsay says she doesn't do drugs and the drugs aren't hers. She was framed. The drugs weren't hers, she's innocent and now she's going to dedicate her life to finding the REAL owner of the drugs. And let me guess, a ghost entered her body and made her fail the field sobriety test. It was someone else's alcohol in your system too, right. It sucks that she was so coked up and drunk that she forgot about the coke in her pocket and failed to swallow it on the way to the police station. She even sucks at being a crackhead. Since she couldn't go on the Tonight Show they brought in the next best thing - Rob Schneider in drag as Lindsay Lohan.