Why BEERS and BEARS Don't MIX...

CNN is reporting a 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival. The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it. "There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters. Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans. Dammmmnn, Me thinks Winnie the Pooh likes more than just honey.

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Hollywood: Urine Trouble

I’m going to assume that working at a waste water treatment plant is a shitty job (pun intended) but researchers just found a way to make it a tad more interesting: giving an entire communities drug tests using just a teaspoon of wastewater from a city's sewer plant. Now don’t get your dirty cocaine-filled panties in a bunch, they won’t be able to single out drug users…as of now. Through this testing they will be able to give an overview of the community drug use - giving federal agents information about the spread and use of drugs. …and give some asshole politician the idea to just arrest a whole community. Hollywood better hold their breath….or pee. Diapers for everyone!

One of the early results of the new study showed big differences in methamphetamine use city to city. One urban area with a gambling industry had meth levels more than five times higher than other cities. Yet methamphetamine levels were virtually nonexistent in some smaller Midwestern locales. One fairly affluent community scored low for illicit drugs except for cocaine. Cocaine and ecstasy tended to peak on weekends and drop on weekdays, while methamphetamine and prescription drugs were steady throughout the week. Sounds like common sense really – I don’t know if you need to play with pee to come up with that. [source]

It's Friday Afternoon. Do You Want to Go Home Early...

...but you can't because well, life's a bitch and so is your boss? Instead, visit Stanley Bing's blog (of Fortune Magazine) and take the "Is Your Boss Crazy Quiz," then you can either find out how to deal with your boss once you confirm complete psychosis or just submit your wild story about your very own insane boss. If you are fortunate enough to not have a crazy boss, you can just read about them for fun. Enjoy.

Return of Xine from LALA land

My one fan probably noticed I haven't been around for over a week-ish. Turns out I was on vacation in CA without my laptop and with plenty o' cocktail in my hand. It was quite the eventful Memorial Day weekend in LA. To warm me back up to this blogging deal, I've written some Friday haikus. They're borderline Rosie O'Donnell blog material so cut me some slack:

Vacation:
Went to the West Coast
Stayed in Santa Monica
Cocktails at the pool

Lindsay crashed:
Lindsay lost control
Mercedes crashed in a bush
Driven by cocaine

Nicole Richie only wants people under 100 pounds at her party. Scale at the door:
Anorexic girls
No triple digits allowed
Easier OD

Misha Barton OD'd at Anorexic Party:
Antibiotics
Do not take with alcohol
Mischa’s (lie) story

Come on down. You're totally not the next contestant on the Price is Right:
See the Price is Right
People camping in the line
Barker retires

Double haiku for Brandon "not so fat/greasy in person" Davis:
He’s called Fat Elvis
Not that greasy in person
Scrubbed it for Spago?

Grandma looks scary
They used to be billionaires
Eating with peons

Quote It!

Corporate Love

A recent survey conducted by Outlaw Consulting, a San Francisco research firm, concluded that Generation Y trendsetters are more drawn to brands that speak to them in a "straightforward and stripped-down way, use plain packaging, and avoid excess. Outlaw surveyed 100 of what it calls its 'most forward trendsetter panelists' in New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Miami, asking them which companies they most respected, and why," Ransom reports. "The sample mostly targeted the first wave of Gen Y consumers, aged 21-27. The goal was to compile a 'Trust Index' of brands that evoke 'deeply positively feelings' among the trendsetters."

The Most Trusted 15 brands named by the trendsetters in the survey were:

1. Apple
2. Trader Joe's
3. Jet Blue
4. In-N-Out Burger
5. Ben & Jerry's
6. Whole Foods
7. Adidas
8. American Apparel
9. Target
10. H & M clothing stores
11. Levi's
12. Volkswagen
13. Converse
14. Vitamin Water
15. Red Stripe Jamaican beer

The survey was conducted in late 2006, before Jet Blue got loads of bad publicity when one of its planes sat on the tarmac for several hours and wouldn't allow passengers to leave the plane. You know that one incident might bump it under Red Stripe beer, unless the 100 surveyers were drinking Red Stripe beer at the time and missed the scandal. I'm a little sad because I just realized that I'm on the ass-end of the age bracket for this survey which might explain why I don't drive a volkswagen, wear levis/converse or drink Red Stripe. Apple is still my favorite and it would be followed by Harris Teeter (greatest grocery store of all-time), Nordstrom, Target, Tivo, Trader Joe's (in VA because of the wine) and Ketel One vodka. Maybe. I haven't thoroughly thought through this. [thanks dan]

Quote It!

YOUR 15 MINUTES - Unique Urinals and Bathroom Fixtures as Erotic Art

To celebrate our 2,000th post I bring you: unique urinals.

A few weeks ago I found a urinal shaped like a mouth in a magazine and immediately called my best friend to tell him about it. He said "yeah, you've never seen that. they had that same one in vegas. there was also this one..." Um no, I don't hang out in the boys potty room. Apparently during our travels, he is having fun experiences peeing into crazy urinals while I'm faced with the same old, boring toilet again and again. When I renovate my bathroom I'm going to have a custom made flower toliet and then maybe a penis sink for fun (shown below).

The urinal:And additional bathroom accessories:

TV Time: To Catch A Predator

I don't necessarily agree with the tactics of MSNBC's "To Catch A Predator" but I sure love watching it... I think this is the best clip ever...

"so what part of the Bible tells you to say all this kind of stuff here in the chat: i'd love to suck BEEP play BEEP suck BEEP nipples BEEP." "Is that in the old testament or the new one.."

Couture du Jour: Frankly. No, It Doesn't Feel Good To Payless.

After Payless ShoeSource’s failed attempt at making the brand popular, stylish and contemporary by hiring Star Jones as a spokesperson, they’re back for more. Acting on Patricia Field’s ability to make ugly clothing and accessories popular, they’ve decided to bring the fashion designer/stylist on board to revamp the company’s image. Patricia will be wearing Payless shoes on tonight’s red carpet. So basically if she wins the Best Costume DesignOscar for The Devil Wears Prada, she’ll accept it in a custom pair of Payless Shoes. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? The catch is – the shoes are designed by her specifically for tonight which is a lot different than walking into a Payless and picking out your favorite $9.99 huaraches to go with your gown. Technically, her Payless on the Red Carpet shoes don’t count. This time, Payless plans to revamp their image by introducing designer footwear collections for the masses a la Isaac Mizrahi for Target. My advice to them is to change their name. There isn’t one ounce of fabulousness in Payless. To me, buying designer shoes at Payless is as appealing as buying toothpaste out of the trunk of an 87 Honda from a Mexican guy with a grill and a neck tattoo.

Sex and the City

Today is the third anniversary of the last episode of Sex and the City (which is quite possibly one of my favorite fictional shows ever - next to the Law and Order franchise). My brain only stores useless knowledge. Can you believe it's been 3 whole years since we've seen an original Carrie Bradshaw outfit? It's about time for that movie. For fun, here's the last episode ever - An American Girl In Paris: Part Deux.

Mood Music: Anna Nicole Body Trial Edition

So I'm random. If you spend enough time on this blog, you probably figured that out by now. I spent the entire day listening to Cirque du Anna via live stream on the internet. I have a weird habit of relating current news situations (or situations in general) to quotes from old rap songs. After today, this kept repeating in my head:

With so much drama in the l-b-c
Its kinda hard bein snoop d-o-double-g
But I, somehow, some way
Keep comin up with funky ass shit like every single day

So I present you with a special double feature....the original video (I totally always got a kick out of that guy going "who's damn kids is that any damn way over there tearin up the damn couch we had that damn couch for 20 years shoulda kept the plastic on. snoop doggy dog you need to get a jobby job..." in like 1993)
and here is a strange conglomeration of Snoop and American Idol Taylor Hicks that I found while I was looking for the original video. I figured if we're talking about freakshows, I might as well include this. They're singing Gin n Juice live in Birmingham, AL :

I'll post an ANS courtroom update shortly!

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Teaching the Machine

Appreciate the Random Things In Life

Tim Hardaway’s homophobia makes Ann Curry lose her shit – before you know it we’re talking about Sacagawea and tire tracks up Al Roker’s butt.