Duck Tales

I know I compared Jenna Jameson to Daisy Duck in a previous post but I really have to revisit the issue. While Jenna is falling on the skinnier side of the spectrum, she's not hideously skinny. In fact, I think she might've gained a few....ounces. Now I believe she's trying to blow a kiss in this picture but it appears to just not be working for her. Which is a shame, really, because she's a porn star and that's pretty much a huge part of the job.

Questionable Quotes on Anorexia Chronicles by Courtney Love

Courtney Love on her recent extreme body makeover in Harper's Bazaar:

“I’ve lost a lot of weight, and I have done it through being quite disciplined… Some people think it’s about weight loss, but it’s about detoxing. I hate reading magazines where the actresses are saying 'broccoli and fish, broccoli and fish.’ You liars. You bulimic liars.”Another reason to love Courtney Love. She's such a straight-talker that Courtney. Although really, broccoli and fish is a decent way to lose weight. I'm not lying.

Anorexia Chronicles: Breaking Up With John Mayer: It Does A Body Good

Happy Birthday to her. I'll have whatever she's having...or I guess not have whatever she's not having. Seriously, can the magic (disappearing) belly fairy stop by and take mine too? Please. Pretty please.

Anorexia Chronicles: A Vision of Unhealth

I didn't watch American Idol this season...actually I never watched American Idol...but the moral of the story is that I managed to completely, totally ignore it this season. I didn't even know the name of one contestant. Anyway, Meme Roth - president of National Action Against Obesity went on Fox News like a week or two ago and called Jordin, the winner, obese. I heard about this a week or two ago (I don't watch Fox News) and didn't care until I actually saw Jordin. She's like seriously 6 feet tall and not fat. Bitch needs to shut up because you know Jordin is going to pull a Carrie Underwood and lose 84 pounds in two months. Way to make a bunch of normal teenage girls have image problems. The National Action Against Anorexia is going to be working overtime.

"When I look at Jordin I see diabetes, I see heart disease, I see high cholesterol. [...] That's what's so sad about this - she is not the vision of health - she is the vision of 'unhealth'". UNHEALTH - brilliant, really. Mariah Carey should write a song about that.

Anorexia Chronicles: It's Called Bloat

I hate to say it but Nicole Richie needs a Playtex 18Hr Gel Comfort Underwire bra and some support hose. I've never seen something so small look so saggy - under the age of 78.

PS.
Dear National Enquirer,
You have to be completely retarded (and I never use that word) to think that Nicole Richie is pregnant in that picture. She's obviously bloated from malnutrition. I doubt she's even had a period in the past 3.8 years. I bet an obese man wrote that headline. For more accurate stores, I recommend you fire him and hire a skinny woman. A really skinny woman who knows all about anorexia, drug abuse and cheating. Seriously.

Love,
xine

Anorexia Chronicles: The Prison Diet

A cook accused of fatally shooting four people over Labor Day weekend has lost 55 pounds in jail, putting his health in danger and prompting the sheriff to seek a court order to force-feed him if necessary. Christian Nielsen, who has been eating little and exercising obsessively, has dropped from 158 pounds to 103 pounds and is being monitored in the medical ward of the Cumberland County Jail, Sheriff Mark Dion said Thursday. Nielsen was ordered committed Wednesday to the Riverview Psychiatric Center in Augusta for assessment and treatment. But he remained at the jail on Thursday and it could be days or weeks before he's transferred, Dion said. Dion said he was preparing paperwork in hopes of going before a judge Thursday to seek permission to force-feed him if necessary. The concern is that Nielsen, 32, has lost so much weight that his body could begin breaking down, he said. "Our medical staff believes he has begun that slide," Dion told The Associated Press. "That's what adds to the urgency of our request." [source]

He's just trying to fit through the bars. Honestly, what else are you supposed to do in jail aside from workout and not eat their crappy food? He probably just needs some books and a Big Mac. You know, if I didn't like freedom so much I might try this jail diet. I could get down to about 113 by Memorial Day and be bikini- ready for my trip to LA. Seriously though, I do hope they get help in time. I used to work for a psych hospital and that paperwork is ridiculous, dangerous and unhealthy.

Quote It!

Anorexia Chronicles: Jenna Jameson's New Workout Video - How to Get Your Waist Smaller Than Your Boyfriend's Arm

Sigh. Divorce is hard and with all that back-and-forth myspace bickering, it can't be getting any easier. Truthfully, I'm just worried where this is situation is headed. When they do it I bet you can see his outline of his peeps bulging through the skin on her stomach.

Anorexia Chronicles: Is Allegra Back At It?

It’s no secret that Allegra Beck, heiress to a majority of the Versace fortune/company, has struggled with anorexia for some time. The camera shy-diva was always looking stick-thin in her teen years. In the recent Harper’s Bazaar spread featuring the mother-daughter duo of Donatella and Allegra (almost 21), everything seemed perfect in Versaceland. Allegra has been taking time off from Brown University to study acting, French, and art history at UCLA. She attends classes five days a week, stays updated on the family business and only goes to nightclubs occasionally. Her group of close friends doesn’t include lots of celebrities and she spends most of her weekends studying or riding her bike on the beach. She visits her mom and younger brother in Italy once a month. Oh and I must add that she's been looking rather anti-ana:Unfortunately, Women’s Day is reporting that Allegra is back down to a superskinny 70 pounds and has been forced to undergo treatment in a medical and psychiatric facility. Insiders say the 20-year-old's condition is so dire she's under 24-hour supervision and must be fed through a naso-gastric tube. So Sad! Part of me doesn't believe it. She's been looking SOOO good lately. Here are some old pics vs. new pics comparisons. Seriously, the clavicles on the right are perfection.

Jenna Jameson Needs Support With Her Cheeseburger

Jenna Jameson lost some weight, read about it in gossip and now she's sad. What's a grown girl to do? Why not start a myspace blog fight with your ex-husband? It did wonders for Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker – aside from the Herpes Hilton drama, they're now back to being the Barkers. Nicole Richie did it, Reichen Lehmkuhl did it...see, all the cool kids are freaking out on myspace blogs. Seriously, this is just one of the many reasons I think people over 30 should stay off the MySpace. It seems to turn grown people into insta-middleschoolers. Here’s the latest myspace installment of celebrity he said/she said:

She said:
My weight. I feel like I need to address the weight rumors that have been swirling for a few months now. This saddens me... only because, everyone that is judging me... has absolutely NO idea what is happening in my life. People are hateful and accuse me of being a drug addict, or an anorexic. Does anyone seem to remember the fact that I am going through a nasty divorce? It has been weighing heavily on me. I worked extremely hard for years to secure my success, and i have been forced to fight for everything I busted my ass for. This has definitely affected my weight. It really hurts that my fans and everyone else) have taken it upon themselves to be so horrible, screaming eat a burger! or we want the old jenna back! I'm sure everyone out there has gone through tough times, and this is when I need support. I wish I could enlighten everyone with what is exactly going on in my divorce and business, but I can't because of legal proceedings. I really hope everyone understands and remembers I am human, and I really need friends and the love and support right now. Soon the divorce will be settled and I am hoping to come out unscathed, but my x is doing his best to make it hard. Thanks for all of your support, and remember I love you!
xoxoxox
JennaHe said:
PREACH ON BITCH. Blah Blah Blah … people in life are amazing! It's funny how individuals always believe their own bullshit.. or basically their side of the story… as flamboyantly as they might want to tell it. Peeps will convince themselves that the shit they spout out of their mouths is the truth and that it justifies everything in their lil realm of reality!! This is man's/woman's best justification of actions and feelings. I love to call it the "Denial Zone". There are always 3 sides to the story and only one side to the truth.. It's a funny theory, but it is a reality of life. People in general will always try to blame someone or some thing else for their own faults, inadequacies and/or weaknesses… this is a classic scenario and the best form of defiance! At some point in all of our lives we have to face… REALITY .. and the majority of the times its is not fun, exciting, or something anyone wants to deal with. This is when the real people .. the ones with integrity and honesty step out from the pack. I recently read a blog from someone blaming their physical appearance on circumstances and situations.. all of which are completely self perpetuated, on a victim or stress and circumstances. At some point you just have to be honest with yourself… as much as it might hurt and say.. I need help, my life and what I am doing is wrong! At which point you need to become proactive in the rectification of the situation. The saddest point about all of this is that most people have to hit rock bottom b4 they realize this simple truth….this is heart breaking to everyone that loves and supports that person. I always ask myself …why does it have to get this??? For the people that love and try to help.. well… we have an inherent flaw that is in most of us.. we want to help… we always want to come to the rescue; and the person in need has no control; abuses and consumes .. consumes like a psychic vampire! These are just truths in life i like to pass on.. if they fit in your scenario of life, then appreciate them. I will never use this forum as a personal place to verbally slaughter people and/or personas…. This is a place where I can rant and express….. My theory to life is something that I believe to be helpful… that's it! Take it for what it's worth. I will do a blog later about what is happing in life…the last 4 weeks have been SIIIIIIKKKKK!!!!! That I will save for the next blog.

Sniff sniff. Do you smell that? It smells a little bit like a rehab stint. Don’t worry Jenna, Celebrity Hijinx loves you no matter what your crazy skinny ass does or doesn't snort/eat. Topic suggest for her next blog: was the plastic surgery also a coping mechanism for the bad divorce... Personally, I like the new Posh Jenna providing no porn is involved. I'm on Jenna's side since her blog was rather well-written in the grammatical sense. I'll reevaluate my choice if Jay visits a tutor three times a week.

Anorexia Chronicles: She Says It's a Bit of The Anorexia and Bulimia but I Think It’s a Bit of The Old Crack Pipe and Bottle

Amy Winehouse managed to stagger her way onto our blog via pictures of coke boogers up her nose and an edited video of Britney "singing" Amy's rehab song. Beyond her drug and alcohol hijinx, which include showing up drunk to performances, throwing up at performances, not showing up to performances...and beyond her stunning look (seriously, it's like a x26 Taser) she's actually a decent singer. She used to be a cute little Jewish girl before Elvira took her out for drinks, ate her for dinner and then barfed her back up again. Seriously, she's missing a tooth. How does that happen? Better yet, she's worked her way to some performances in the US. ...and as long as she doesn't sing like this, I find her surprisingly refreshing...

Anorexia Chronicles: Good News For Fatties

The FDA has finally approved an over-the-counter (OTC) diet drug. See, as I've mentioned before, all of those diet pills like TrimSpa aren't FDA approved for weight loss which means two things 1. the company is lying and 2. fat people are just throwing their money at liars. Ephedrine was the only real OTC drug that significantly curbed appetite by acting as a stimulant and contributed to weight loss but that's been illegal for a few years unless you're shopping at my local gas station who apparently didn't get the memo and still have it for sale right next to the lotto tickets.

The FDA said the fat-blocking weight-loss pill orlistat, which has been available by prescription, can be sold in a reduced-strength version over the counter. The new version will be sold as "alli" by GlacoSmithKline PLC. Xenical, the prescription version, is made by Roche Holding AG. The drug is intended for people 18 and older to use along with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet and exercise. When taken with meals, orlistat blocks the absorption of about one-quarter of any fat consumed. That fat -- about 150 to 200 calories worth -- is passed out of the body in stools. Problem: many of the side effects are gastrointestinal. So basically the good news is that if you're a fatty and you don't mind gas and loose stool, you can now buy an FDA approved drug OTC that will actually help you lose weight. It should be available in stores by this summer for about $1-2 a day. [source]

Anorexia Chronicles: Now Starring in The Teeny Tiny Lebowski

Did Tara Reid pick up a gastric bypass while she was out shopping? We do know that she recently had reconstructive plastic surgery to repair her frankentummy/titties. Her boobs and belly might look good but now all of a sudden she’s freakishly skinny. Now all she needs is a surgery or an injection or something to repair her career. Has that been invented yet?

Anorexia Chronicles: What The Hell

I was going to write a little piece on Jenna Jameson and the current lack thereof but it appears as if anorexia chronicles should be the least of her worries! What happened to swanky-skanky, lust-worthy Jenna? Did divorce fly her over the cuckoos nest? Did those missing 20 pounds send all of her implants/lifts on a tectonic shift from the brow down? Jenna Jameson can do no wrong in my book but this incredible shrinking, shifting look has to go. Seriously, it pains me to say that she looks like a dumpy mix between Donatella Versace and plastic surgery junkie/porn slut Tabitha Stevens. Obviously that’s far from a compliment. For some reason, I just wanted more from the Queen of Porn. She’s rich enough to not look all used and abused at 31. There’s a point when people don’t want to watch plastic, mutilated little things having sex on screen – just ask Tabitha Stevens. Here's more of the tragedy:

FASHION FIX/ANOREXIA CHRONICLES MEGAMIX: The Skinny Ban

Milan's pulled a Madrid and formally barred ultra-skinny and under-age models ahead of its February catwalk shows, as the fashion world comes under pressure to promote a healthier image.The agreement signed on Monday between the city and its powerful fashion industry bans models under 16 and those with a body mass index of less than 18.5 from Milan's shows.
The accord also includes courses on healthy eating and exercise and calls for a variety of clothing sizes in shows."The agreement is the result of a common effort ... to share and to communicate to our young people the importance of positive models of living," Milan mayor Letizia Moratti said in a statement. Body mass index is the ratio of weight to the square of height -- so that a 1.73-meter (5 foot 8 inch) model who weighed less than 55.4 kg (122 lb) would be barred. [source]

Shit - 122 lbs. There are going to be a lot of out-of-work models. Take all of your money and invest it in CARBS immediately! Barilla pasta stock is going to skyrocket.

Anorexia Chronicles: Ok Seriously.

Some people think that I do this column because I'm mean. While I am mean, I actually do this because anorexia/bulemia has personally touched my life. So all kidding aside, eat something healthy today.

Ana Carolina Reston, a 21 year-old Brazilian fashion model died from complications of anorexia in a Sao Paulo hospital on Tuesday. Reston weighed only 88 pounds and was about 5 feet 8 inches tall. Doctors consider this weight normal for a 12-year-old girl no more than about 5 feet tall. Her mother has made an emotional appeal for parents to take better care of aspiring young models. "Take care of your children ... no money is worth the life of your child, not even the most famous (fashion) brand is worth this," her mother, Miriam Reston, told O Globo newspaper. She said her daughter had been trying to help her family with the money she made as a model. Miriam spoke on national television and to local newspapers to highlight the tragedy. She said she had pleaded with her daughter to eat more and to see a doctor. "She would reply, 'Mummy, don't mess me around,"' Miriam told O Estado de S.Paulo. Reston was not famous, but she had worked abroad, including in Japan, and did some jobs for Giorgio Armani and the Brazilian model agency L'Equipe, which declined immediate comment.

In September, Spain caused a storm in the fashion world when Madrid barred models below a certain weight from its top fashion show. Models with a body-mass-index (BMI), which takes into account height and weight, of less than 18 were banned. Reston's BMI was just 13.5 while the World Health Organization considers anyone with a BMI below 18.5 underweight. You know they probably told her she looked just perfect! A BMI below 17.5 being one of the criteria for the diagnosis of anorexia nervosa and a BMI nearing 15 is usually used as an indicator for starvation. Other famous fashion venues like London were considering following suit. [source]

WT not GQ

Lindsay Lohan decided to class up her latest GQ photoshoot. For wardrobe she chose Route 66 a la K-Mart cut-off, rolled-up jean shorts and a midriff bearing, made-in-china white t-shirt. For location, she choose her natural habitat: a midwest motel room/meth lab. Props: old tabloid magazines and a mattress in a shade of blue they haven't produced since 1972. It gets worse. I present you with...the interview.

We met Lindsay Lohan in the garden of the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood. We had a margarita. She had a…beverage.

Can we tell people we’re doing this interview in the men’s room at Yankee Stadium?
Yes. And tell them that we’re dating.
Does it make you sad that celebrity magazines never write about you?
It does. I really wish they would do more. I’m trying to become friends with all the cool famous people, the ones that go to clubs all the time—try to get into those tabloids a little more.
Tell me about an average day in the life of Lindsay Lohan.
It starts out with a 5 a.m. hike through Runyon Canyon to watch the sunrise. Then I go outside, and I try to find the paparazzi. I go down to Robertson Boulevard, try and search for them, find them, and bring them food.
And then what do you do at night?
Well, of course, I’m sitting at the computer all night.
Have you ever read anything interesting about yourself on the Internet?
No. I wish they’d be clever and make something up for me.
There’s some interesting stuff about you. Irocman39 in Skokie, Illinois, says you’re the “smokinest woman on the face of the earth”—
God bless him.
—and that he wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating saltines. I don’t eat. Don’t you people know?
It’s all about anorexia and bulimia nervosa.
After computer time, when do you go to bed?
No later than 9:30 p.m.—ever. On a good night, it’s eight fifteen.

Aw, I believe she was trying to be silly and cute and witty and ironic. But of course that failed and she ended up being annoying and half-witted and tedious and inane. Can you believe they killed trees for that? For once, I DON'T want Lindsay to quit her day job. Leave the sarcastic wit to the bloggers, Linds. It's not a becoming shtick.

Anorexia Chronicles: Excuses, Excuses

Poor Nicole Richie. She has to go to Fat Camp...to get fat. Nicole's publicist admits that Nicole has finally sought help at a treatment facility to address her inability to gain weight but denies she is receiving treatment for an eating disorder.

"She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition," spokeswoman Nicole Perna said in a statement. "It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder."

So let's explore this statement. Nicole is NOT seeking treatment for an eating disorder - she's seeking treatment for nutrition. There's a nutrition problem. She's deficient of nutrients. Isn't that just a fancy way of saying the bitch doesn't eat? Think about it...we all know Nicole is skinny so either:

1. The publicist is lying and she's in rehab for an eating disorder.
2. Her publicist thought she could outsmart us by saying it's a nutrition problem not an eating problem.
3. She is seeking treatment for a drug problem that's causing her to be skinny.

That's it. I don't have a degree in nutrition but I know bullshit when I see it. I don't buy any bullshit excuse about being "naturally thin" because the bitch was a big old tub of Fatty Boombatty not too long ago. What does she want us to think? All of a sudden she developed a supersonic metabolism. Judging from the pictures in the next post, Nicole's stylist must have the same "nutrition" problem. I wonder if it's contagious!!! [source]

Anorexia Chronicles: Not Anymore!

Poor Lindsay Lohan. Her boyfriend dumped her, someone stole (then returned) her purse and jewels, she broke her arm, had a public verbal deathmatch with her mom, the list goes on and on all within a matter of weeks...

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse – this happens: a double chin. She’s looking much less skinny starlet and way more fat actress. I never thought I'd see the day so soon. It seems like only yesterday:

Anorexia Chronicles: Kate Bosworth Edition

Not too long ago, Kate Bosworth was a nobody with a body in Blue Crush. Now she's a somebody with NO-body. I just saw Orlando Bloom, Kate's recent ex, on Ellen and he seemed like such a sweet, genuine, wonderful guy. Can't he see that we're at A&E Intervention level here? I mean I even want to intervene and I only ate a few crumbs of bread and a small piece of cheese today.

PS. Who's that bitch she's with? Please for the love of God don't tell me that's Kiki Dunst with a weave.