Baby Jolie-Pitt's Fairy Godfather...I mean mother

Angelina Jolie wants her former lesbian lover Jenny Shimizu, who looks strikingly like Angie's son Maddox in the picture on the left, to be the godmother of the child she's expecting with Brad Pitt. Brad suggested his friend George Clooney while Angelina's other insane choice was blood buddy ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller.

As soon as the baby takes one look at her butchy godmother it'll scare her right back up into Angie's big old vag for another 9 months. Apparently Angie wants Jenny to give "spiritual guidance" to all of her children and they will be participating in a Buddhist "guardianship" ritual. Don't be surprised if they decide to break into some sort of weird knife-play baptism by blood ritual.

This is such a logical choice. You know I heard that former Calvin Klein models with unsuccessful attempts at acting make great spiritual advisors to the children of woman they used to cut with knives during lesbian sexual encounters. That's just what I heard.

I bet Brad starting to wonder what the fuck he got himself into with this one...

[source]