Friday, June 30, 2006

Friday Hoff: Something Fishy

Former "Baywatch" star David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in a freak accident in a London gym bathroom, his spokeswoman said Friday. The 53-year-old actor, who played lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on the TV beach drama for 11 years, was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, his publicist, Judy Katz, said. [source]It was David Hasselhoff in the locker room with the chandelier!

This is like the time Lindsay Lohan was preparing breakfast with eggs and everything that she was going up the stairs carrying a ceramic teacup. She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on and she completely slipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay forcing her to go to the ER. Remember that?

I read the Hoff story to my father and he said, "That story isn't true." So I asked him what he thought happened and he said, "I think he was in the locker room with George Michael..." Not a bad response for a 54 year-old straight guy. He secretly watches E! at night. Anyway, the gossip blogger in me wants to say that something more happened because the story is just plain crazy. Here's why the human in me (yes, there's human in me) believes this could happen…drumroll: I accidentally superglued my eye shut trying to fix an acrylic nail while talking on the phone. They had to cut off my eyelashes and slice my eye back open then scrape the contact off my eye because it was superglued to my eye. The crazy glue went crazy and just squirted in my eye (think of the almost-empty ketchup bottle effect). I ended up spending the night in the hospital on morphine and had to wear an eye patch for a few weeks. That story never gets old. The words "freak accident" and "David Hasselhoff" in the same sentence makes me laugh hysterically. Out loud. Non-stop. I never knew that until now.

Awkward moment of the day

The Japanese Prime Minister plays air guitar at Graceland, while corpse bride Priscilla looks on. Laura Bush tries to escape by digging a hole through the floor with her heels.

Forget your vitamins, here's a Scientology video

I was going to show you an official Scientology terrorist training video...or what they call "orientation" video but it seems that the Church of L. Ron Hubbard of Latter Day Saints had YouTube remove it before I could get it on our site. L. Ron Hubbard forbid that we see "official" Scientology material without actually being we can make fun of it, of course. Does anyone other than me remember the Scientology commercials that used to air on TV in the 1980's? I was able to find one. I always wanted to call that 1-800 number...I think sometimes they offered a free video... but thankfully I had a mother who kept me out of cults. You know they totally would've bilked me out of my allowance money.

Happy Independence Day, Miss Kim

Madam Hoochie is leaving prison early, due to her good behavior in jail. I think I heard that her boobies were leaking too, but I can't remember that for sure. She also lost to Missy Elliot as Best Hip Hop artist at the BET awards this week. So I'm sure she' delighted to be packin' away that orange jumpsuit on Monday.


Birthday ALARM

Actor Vincent D'Onofrio is 47.

Singer Lena Horne is 89.
Actor David Garrison (Married...with Children ) is 54.
Guitarist Hal Lindes of Dire Straits is 53.
Actor David Alan Grier is 51.
Bassist Tom Drummond of Better Than Ezra is 37.
Actress Monica Potter (Boston Legal ) is 35.
American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino is 22.

Did It Have To Be THAT Bare Skin?

Stella McCartney had to do something different or might I say shocking to get people to pay attention to the PETA awards ceremony at her Bruton Street store in London. I'm sure she said to herself *British accent* "Stella, what can I do that will make people aware that wearing fur and leather is bad? Killing animals is bad. How can I get them to pay attention to this awards ceremony at my store? What is something new and unique that will really send the message that killing, eating and wearing animals is bad?. Hmmm. (ponder) Oh, I know. Pamela Anderson's breasts should do the trick." You know, since the overexposed breasts of a 39-year-old woman with hepatitis and killing animals are completely relevant.

By now I think everyone in the world has seen Pamela Anderson’s breasts. The egg hanging out in my left ovary waiting to be my illegitimate child has seen Pamela Anderson’s breasts. The only things those two cannons makes me want not want to put in my mouth are breasts…and that’s quite unfortunate, isn’t it? They need some new celebrity supporters. IMMEDIATELY! They should start a campaign that involves having sex instead of wearing fur or something...although I do think the little "bare skin than wear skin" that might be exciting during chilly weather with the right people. Actually, I take that back. This whole "skin is in/sex sells" thing is passé. I want a cheeseburger. [source]

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Battle of the Has-Beens

Not to be outdone by fellow has-been Axl Rose, Tommy Lee picked a fight with Josh Duhamel (who's on the show Las Vegas, although I prefer to think of him as the dreamy Tad Hamilton in the eponymous movie) the other day. Apparently, Josh had to number one and Tommy was already hogging the bathroom with a little number two action. Tommy clocked him for banging on the door (must not have had his Metamucil), and Josh ended up on the floor. Tommy is lucky that JD's beard, man-beast Fergie, was not in the club at the time, because that bizzich would have eviscerated him.

I'm hoping that Sebastian Bach will get into the act next, or perhaps someone from White Lion. I miss Hair Metal.


Subterranean Animal!! (I called this shit)

There are some species of fish, including the cavefish and others like the Bug-Eyed Star fish, that have been observed in a variety of subterranean habitats such as cave streams over various substrates, subterranean lakes, as well as the outlets of large springs near the limit of daylight. BIOLOGY 101 bitches...
It has also, on occasion, been observed in more terrestrial areas such as Payless shoe stores and Taco Bell.

Candy Spelling: Isn't She a TOTAL Betty?

Nevermind the boring stuff on this cover...
forget about Nicole hooking up and Matt Dillon...
and who gives a shit about Britney's private photo albums...
unless I get to see Feder-dick, I'm all set...
and if I have to look at one more goddamn photograph of Nicole's wedding to Keith, I may inflict pain upon myself.
gimme Suri Cruise, and you've got a deal
(worth less than 5 thousand dollars, for sure)...
Anygayz, the Spelling girls are back at it again... this time, publicly fighting in the wake of Aaron Spelling's death. Oy. These two could use some etiquette training. And, frankly, some more plastic surgery. Have you seen Tori's face lately? It's getting there. Ooof, and Candy... girl, BOTOX IS NOT CANDY!

In any case, the magazine cover story, due out Friday, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum reveals she learned of father Aaron Spelling's death last week as she dined in Toronto.

Her BlackBerry broke the bad news.

"A friend of mine had seen a TV report, and emailed me," Tori Spelling tells Us.
"And I was just in total shock. My first thought was, I can't believe my mom didn't call me!"

That hurts.


Birthday ALARM

Rapper DJ Shadow is 34.

Actor Gary Busey is 62.
Comedian Richard Lewis is 59.
Singer Colin Hay of Men At Work is 53.
Actress Maria Conchita Alonso is 49.
Actress Sharon Lawrence (Fired Up,NYPD Blue ) is 45.
Actress Amanda Donohoe is 44.
Singer Nicole Scherzinger of Pussycat Dolls is 28.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

These Bitches Can Throw Shade Like It Ain't Nothin'

I can't even take a second to catch my breath before another round of SHIT hits the fan on this show. God love these women and all the cattiness that has ensued in the past few days.
When women spend a lot of time together their periods synchronize and you better believe this table of three had PMS today!
The beauty of this video is in the calm, collected voice of one Barbara Walters. The power of Babs W: she can destroy your future career with just one pun about your name. Nothing else--no slapping, no screaming, no name-calling, no scratching, no x-treme Jello wrestling. Just pun and done.
"The View help make Star a STAR..." yeah and it help Star muster up enough self-hated (masked as NARCISSISM) to turn her from a FAT HOG into a subterranean animal, too!
HOORAY! Thanks, Barbara.
Next off, let's get that damn Elizabeth HasselBUSH off there next. That bitch drives me insane. I hope that son-of-a-bitch football playing husband of her's is a pillow-biting, shirt-flap liftin, friend-of-Dorothy too. Oh, and if you didn't already hate her, she's super Republican. Would serve her conservative ass right.

I Present You With...Damage Control

Oh my God. Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on here because I'm unable to process this. Couldn't they match her eyebrows a little better? That's as far as I'm going with the critique. The magazine might have 487 best new ideas inside but the worst new idea is right there on their front cover. I can tell someone got an A+ in their Photoshop class at the Art Institute of Wherever.

I'll smack a bitch up, part DEUX

Or in 16 years or so. The (ahem) reputable folks at FOX are reporting that we've not yet seen photos of the young Thetan Suri Cruise, because no one would buy her photos. You just know that in 2022, Shiloh's going to meet Suri at some party in the Hills, one of the two is going to drink too much, and somebody's ending up in the pool.


I'll smack a bitch

Looks like the claws are out over at The View. Following Star Jones's surprise announcement yesterday that she's leaving the show, and her subsequent cover story in People that she was forced off the show, Barbara WaWa is none too pleased.

"I love Star and I was trying to do everything I possibly could - up until this morning when I was betrayed - to protect her," Walters told The Associated Press.
Big Gay Al's wife was supposed to announce her departure on Thursday, but decided to let the cat out the bag early. Apparently, viewers are tired of her shriveling frame and her stupid marriage. I think she's scared of the big bad dyke about to take Viera's place.
Also, for a laugh, take a look at Star's website. You have to enter an email address to get in, but you can just make one up. Or use Dino's. Also, I know she's not fat anymore, but I love that picture.

Birthday ALARM

Actor John Cusack is 40.

Comedian-director Mel Brooks is 80.
Actor Bruce Davison is 60.
Actress Kathy Bates is 58.
Actress Jessica Hecht (Friends,The Single Guy ) is 41.
Actress Mary Stuart Masterson is 40.
Actor Gil Bellows (Ally McBeal ) is 39.
Actress Danielle Brisebois (All in the Family ) is 37.
Actress Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris ) is 35.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Public Affair at Skatetown

Here are some shots from Jessica Simpson's new video:
The only person missing in Jessica Simpson's new video is Madonna. Oh no wait, that's Madonna's song so she's sorta there. Jess even invited Kelly Bundy. I can tell it's an 80's roller skating birthday party theme or something but did she really need to drag Kelly Bundy into all this....Who knew they were friends? And what's with Eva Longoria's sandals? Wait, why was Eva Longoria invited? I'm so confused. Let's just forget about all that and focus on Jess' rental skates. She should really wear sock with those. Maybe like two or three pair -- layered and then scruched down. I know they disinfect the skates in between uses but I just don't trust that spray. That's my suggestion. My other suggestion is to not waste your time watching this video because it looks stupid. Where can one even watch music videos these days? I haven't seen an actual music video on MTV in like years.

Nothing Gets Your Name Back On The Radar Screen Like a Few Slaps and a Bite

Axl Rose has been arrested in Stockholm, Sweden after allegedly biting a security guard at his hotel. Guns N' Roses played a concert in Stockholm's Globe Arena on Monday night and had been partying at a well-known nightclub before the incident. Does Axl Rose still think it's the 80's? I mean it's nice to see him out and about. Now I don't have to spend time each day wondering what my wondeful little Axl has been doing with himself. Anyway, band members don't attack people or trash hotels or throw stuff anymore. That's for fashion designers, models and crazy actors now. He should know since Tommy Hilfiger recently bitch slapped and karate chopped his ass. [source]

Lindsay's Friend Blew A Fuse?

I pick on Lindsay Lohan a lot and of course I don't feel bad because I don't have a conscience when it comes to celebrity gossip. However, when I read this somewhat dramatic article in PageSix I had a mini change of heart:

LINDSAY Lohan keeps such a busy social schedule that the fashion stylist she flew out from Los Angeles to keep her company in New York last week couldn't handle it and begged his friends for help to get home. "Lindsay flew Nate out and said it would only be for a couple days," our source said. "She flew him out, put him up, paid for everything, and they had the best time . . . at first. But then Lindsay decided to stay. Nate couldn't take her constant partying. He didn't have the money to fly home, so concerned friends chipped in to buy him an immediate ticket out of there." BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Ok here's the part I care about: In just seven days, Lohan got into several verbal spats with Paris Hilton over their mutual boy toy, Stavros Niarchos, was seen at Bungalow 8 almost every night, had a dance-off at P.M., partied at Marquee, deejayed in the street for a Gap event, was kicked out of the SoHo House and got into a fight with Sean Combs at Butter - where she also threw glasses at owner Richie Akiva, according to our spies. She also went to Kate Moss' baby daddy Jefferson Hack's birthday party at fashionista Genevieve Jones' SoHo apartment, where she seemed to quaff her share of Palmes d'Or champagne. The late nights and the loss of her friend Newell must have gotten to Lohan. Thursday night, the freckled redhead was spotted on a sofa in the Hotel Gansevoort lobby sobbing before she headed down to the hotel's G-Spa club. That was the last Lohan sighting before she left to go back to L.A. At least we know she ate because I have a picture of it.

It took someone writing out her exact schedule to make me realize that when I was around her age (19-ish) I did more than that in just 3 days. Dino is my witness and co-conspirator. Actually, on my last trip to Aspen I did more than that in one night. I just wasn't famous enough to have anyone write about it. The only thing I feel bad about is that she'd actually have to "fly a friend in." Does she have no friends in NY? Wasn't she basically born and raised there? Whatever the case, this Newell guy obviously can't hang. He's a pussy. I wouldn't be proud about this story and have my friends call it into PageSix.

Mash It Right Into a Copyright Infringement Case

The other day, Xine pondered one of life's greatest questions:
Will we someday run out of music?

Which led me to start thinking about the long standing tradition of song sharing... you know, when an artist samples from another musician's song, to the extent that in the end, they have created an entirely new song that sounds just like the OLD ONE! YAY!!

I'm going to make this entry way way deeper than it needs to be. In fact, this is a bit gratuitous... but sometimes, the most obvious things elude me... Just the other day, I was listening to a CD that Xine had recommended. I'm often so involved in the music that I sometimes inadvertently imagine that I'm in the music video. I watch myself in the rearview mirror - at how the breeze through the sunroof tosses my freshly cut faux hawk...

until I realized that I'd sat through the entire green light.

Which, if you're following my train of thought, leads me to this...

"Public Affair", the new Jessica Simpson song - a striking example of
just how to OVERsample someone else's song... it didn't hit me at first but when you actually pay attention to the song it's basically an embellished version of Holiday. Of course I didn’t initially notice because I thought it was just another cheesy Jessica Simpson ballad and I was too busy watching myself in the mirror. This is probably the ONE Madonna song that everyone in the world knows. I bet there’s a person in Qatar singing “Holiday, Celebrate!” right at this very moment. You’d think Big Daddy Simpson could dig a less-famous song out of his creepy, probably-waxed ass.
She wants a “public affair,” she might one big public affair in the courthouse when Madonna sues her ass for some copyright infringement. Unless of course we’re overlooking one serious detail— maybe Madonna allowed Jessica to use the song because she’s has her eye on Jessica as the next Kabbalah recruit a la Britney. Doubtful yet possible.

Click here to listen to a mash-up of Madonna's "Holiday"
and Jessica Simpson's "Public Affair,"
not so creatively titled, "Public Holiday."

1MoreHit via Defamer

Birthday ALARM

Actor Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man ) is 31.

Singer Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys is 64.
Actress Julia Duffy (Newhart ) is 55. Actress Isabelle Adjani is 51.
Country singer Lorrie Morgan is 47.
Actor Yancey Arias (Kingpin ) is 35.
Singer Leigh Nash (Sixpence None The Richer) is 30.
Actress Madylin Sweeten (Everybody Loves Raymond ) is 15.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Fucking Idiot of the Day!!

This young lady had me fascinated earlier today.

I wondered if her fear of pickles
translated into a fear of cucumbers too...

and if her fear of cucumbers somehow
translated into a fear of penises...

and somehow that fear of penises made her... well...


Yup, that's how it went.

thanks, jordan!

A Speck of Spice

Posh is starting to look like her skeleton was placed through one of those vacuum packaging system that vacuum sealed her in her skin. Because the only activities she has to occupy time are eat, shop and lose weight, she decided that is was absolutely imperative to lose 6 pounds before traveling to Germany to watch her husband play in the World Cup. She went on a strict diet of only sushi and pineapple. That's like my dream diet. You know she totally lost the weight to be skinner than the broad on the left in the cheap red belt, see-through white shirt and white strapless bra. Nude-colored undergarments always work better under white. Someone should ring her up on the telly and let her know. Six pounds on her is like a whole arm. Maybe next time she should try that -- lop off an arm. The amputee diet. I should patent that. She's still the hottest thing ever!

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Me Not So Horny

La Place, a body-lotion store in Boca Raton, FL, was listed as a "manufacturer representative for cosmetics and/or lotions." But detectives say its advertisements in adult magazines such as "Xcitement" and "Adult Fun 411" feature scantily clad Asian women and suggest a different kind of operation. Well I’ll give you four choices of what kind of operation it might be: nails, dry cleaning, take-out or we all know what’s going on behind those red silk curtains. It’s always the scantily clad Asian bit. They manage look exotic, sexier and less cheap than scantily clad white women. Customers would pay $40 to $80 to enter the store and then were taken to a back room, where they were told to "get comfortable." Then women that looked like this would come in and do the deed: She might’ve been a professional “lotion applicator” but she is not a professional eyebrow applicator. From the advertisements customers expected thin, slanty eyes not thin, slanty eyebrows. The good news is that she's been arrested so she won't be fucking your husband during his lunch break anytime soon. [source]

Random Number

What do Selma Blair and P. Diddy Have in common?Absolutely nothing which is why I'm posting this picture. Did she lose part of a limb in some unreported accident? And could his shorts possibly get ANY bigger? All that leftover fabric could be used to feed starving kids in Africa. He's so selfish. [source]

One Tush-Taboo Blind Vice

Toothy Tile, per usual, is in not just in considerable company, but in esteemed sexually inhibited company. But first I've got to get something off my chest (or rump, as it were):

Why are American men so damn afraid of their butts? Gay and straight, mind you. Damn, tons of my hetero girlfriends tell me they so much as sneak a little, manicured index finger toward the boyfriend's derriere and wham, that little digital mission gets shut down somethin' pronto! Not so every male in Hollywood (or the world, mind you). That's fer sure. Take Wave Ridden, for ince. He keeps putting out these simple-minded movies (which, nevertheless, keep earning sizable bucks at the box office) all while pretending to trot around a girlfriend, but she holds that position in name only, I assure you. W.R.'s preferred position is the one Ang Lee infamously afforded us in that Brokeback Mountain pup-tent love scene. Be it with a guy providing the real-life anatomical McCoy or a gal with the synthetic-molded version.

Too funny: Wave, a dude who's really much less charming than is our beloved Toothy, even picks up his equal-opportunity partners in the most plebian of places: mall parking lots, busy Hollywood streets, drugstores--less so fancy-schmancy Hell-Ay parties. Now Toothy would love to (and does) have sex at any of the previous places, mind you. The difference? Toothy only does the deed with his slightly snotty b-f; never a stranger, please. Where does the salacious subterfuge end? How much longer can Wave, who's aging okay (for now), keep up this stupid sound-bite parade with his perky pretend honey? Friggin' forever, if you ask this jaded goss. I mean, Toothy'll be on the cover of The Advocate, officially declaring his hunky homo-ness, by the time Wave gives up his predictable posing. So boring, really.

It's not:

So why is it that we want to know about a star who likes it up the butt from strangers in parking lots, is less charming than Jake Gyllenhaal and is aging? No thank you. I want hot gossip about hot people.

The usual suspects: I doubt Tom Cruise would do people in parking lots, Matthew McConaughey, Will Smith, etc.

Simple minded movie people: Vince Vaughn, the Wilson brothers, Seann William Scott..these aren't really guesses as much as I'm trying to name people who are in simple minded movies.

Help me out people!

She Was So Blonde She Sold The Car For Gas Money

Since there is nothing else more interesting going on in the world, let's talk about hair. Now this would be a totally appropriate conversation if my occupation was "hair stylist" but alas, it's not. Last week I made fun of Britney's new do. It looks better than it did the other day. I still think she should've gone a shade or two lighter so it's not SO close to black. Here are more pictures: I jokingly said she was "trying to be Angelina" but I think she's actually trying to look like a different mom-- her own. For the love of all that's good, please tell me that is NOT a scrunchie in Lynn's hair. I hope it's an illusion created by someone wearing a hat off in the far distance. VS.
Everyone is trying to rip her a new asshole, in the series of new assholes being ripped; this time for dying her hair while she's pregnant. Personally, I'm glad she dyed her hair. The fetus was created from Kevin Federline's sperm which is fifteen times more toxic than hair dye. It’s been scientifically proven in a double-blind study done by two leading labs (led by me, of course). The baby is already going to come out glowing neon green so why not do something about that weave?

Paris’ lobotomy causes her to leave half of her accessory at home (again)

It looks as if Paris has unveiled the ass-wipe glove in black. I bet Lindsay Lohan is running around with the bottom half of this monstrosity (a fingerless glove) thinking she’s cool too. Maybe I don’t give Karl Lagerfeld enough credit—he’s probably sitting back laughing his ass off at how stupid they all look. Wait, he wears stupid gloves too. Well jokes on them because this is so stupid Michael Jackson didn't even do it. It's like the caption for this would be: "Ooops, I just realized I forgot the other half of my glove. Nicki, what the fuck did you do with the other half of my glove?""Ok. That's definitely half of a glove. Now what?"(to self: "Self, maybe if like, I just like stand here and try to like be sexy and wrap half of my hand around the door they won't notice that like half of my glove is missing and the world will love me (giggles)." Then in a moment of sheer embarrassment she tries to strike a sexy pose but ends up looking like an uncoordinated fool as usual.Please tell me she doesn't have these in red. Or yellow. Or any other color. I sadly expect this to be at the local cheap-ass whore store in the mall soon. Aside from wiping your ass, the only other thing the glove MIGHT be good for is protecting others from Paris' nastiness. What does she do? She touches her friend (who is dressed in a nightgown) with the non-protected fingers...possibly proving my theory that she does wear the half glove to wipe her ass. She still looks like an ass-wipe.


I somehow failed to get my hands on the whole picture "Ooops, I just realized I forgot the other half of my glove. Nicki, what the fuck did you do with the other half of my glove?" picture so I'm going to amend this post. Will you please take a look at this:

Whoa. Apparently Paris' friend criteria includes: must be able to wear nightgown to dance club, must have wonky eyes and must have a less symmetrical face than Paris. Paris would prefer if friend didn't speak English...or any other language. Paris would prefer if friend didn't speak.

Oh, and I guess those handless gloves do come in a pair.

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Need your daily dose of hate? You're in luck.

30 Seconds' 15 minutes of fame:

I read the online version of the paper from my hometown (small town USA) because of this hysterical daily column called 30 seconds. You can call in and basically say whatever you want for 30 seconds. Of course you wouldn’t believe the things people say. They've now added a new email feature which is great because they print exactly what the person sends so each day I'm introduced to fantastic new grammatical anomalies. I started off just reading the entries and then I began a morning ritual of sharing the good ones with my friends. And by good I mean bad. I thought this one was particularly hateful yet creative so it’s making its way to the blog:

Liberals hate America and they especially hate freedom and liberty. All liberals would prefer us to be slaves to a godless communist master while singing the Mexican anthem. And don't look to liberals for any ideas because all they know how to do is tax you and create homosexual monuments to Satan. Liberals are begging the UN to come in and take our guns and children away and they want you to pay them to do it. And all the vets out there know that liberals cheer when one of their brothers die; there is no sweeter site to a liberal than a dead US soldier. Liberals also want you to use one of those disgusting, sinful condom things and have ten abortions a year. Go to Hell liberal scum. Amen. Patridiot Man, e-mail

Which reminds me. I was up so late last night finishing my homosexual monument to Satan that I missed my abortion appointment this moring. I hate when I do that. [source]

I Couldn't Care Less...

"It was a very tough decision for me but one that was necessary in order to move on with the next chapter of my life."

That's right. Kevin Attack-of-the-killer-eyebrows Richardson , who's 33 years-old, said on Saturday that he was leaving The Backstreet Boys in order to pursue other interests.

The group plans to return to the studio this weekend to begin work on their next album, which is due later this year.
And, unlike the Destiny's Child model before them, the remaining members, McLean, Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, and Brian Littrell, said they had no plans to replace Richardson.

Hey, does anyone remember when Nick Carter came out with that solo CD right around the same time as Justin Timberlake? Remember how it sold like 248 copies? Yeah, and remember when JC Chasez (former N'Syncer) came out with his solo album and it sold like 32 copies?

Kevin, let's hope the next chapter of your life does not include a solo musical endeavor. Might I suggest deodorant commercials?


Birthday ALARM

Actor Jason Schwartzman (I ♥ Huckabees,Rushmore ) is 26.

Actor Gedde Watanabe (ER,Sixteen Candles ) is 51.
Singer Chris Isaak is 50.
Singer Patty Smyth is 49.
Bassist Colin Greenwood of Radiohead is 37.
Actor Sean Hayes (Will and Grace ) is 36.
Actor Chris O'Donnell is 36.
Actress Kaitlin Cullum (Grace Under Fire ) is 18.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

If You Say So...

Here's a quote from Hugh Hefner's #1 (of three) girlfriend, 26 year-old Holly Madison:

I don’t get jealous of other girls because I was raised in a cloning lab to be the perfect woman for Hugh M. Hefner. So, other than the fact that my IQ is probably a little higher than he would like, I have nothing to worry about.

Sports Illustrated: Sears Edition

Sports Illustrated recently did an interview with Danica Patrick. She’s a female racecar driver with the perfect name for porn. For a female racecar driver she’s rather attractive which is probably the reason Sports Illustrated, and men in general, pay attention to her. The interview was rather bland: she likes working out, doing extreme yoga in rooms over 100 degrees, lifting weights, New York Fashion week, Gucci, Christian Louboutin shoes (although hers look more like Nine West--definitely not Louboutin), she has obsessive fans, she met her physical therapist husband after she injured her hip in extreme yoga, she has a husband which is a total turn-off so I stopped reading the interview. The interview isn’t what initially caught my attention; it was the accompanying photoshoot. Sport Illustrated must’ve been a little tight with money and time because it looks like they sent her straight to Sears Portriat Studio to get a discount portrait package. A satin backdrop, a wooden stool and some New Balance sneakers. Doesn't get much classier than that. I bet those weights are props. [source]

Nicole is Urban

Nicole Kidman married Keith Urban in what was probably the world's most boring wedding 2006. Here is the happy, seemingly-mismatched couple: Nicole's adopted daughter, Isabella (left), is pictured in a car with Nicole's sister, Antonia and an unidentified flower girl. This is the first time I've ever seen Isabella smile. I'm sure she's happy to have briefly escaped the clutches of Scientology and is on her way to a real church. This is where the magic happened.