Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Mood Music: Kano featuring Craig David (love the brits)

Birthday ALARM

Actor Dean Cain (Lois and Clark ) is 41.

Actress Susan Flannery (Bold and the Beautiful ) is 64.
Singer-guitarist Daniel Ash (Love and Rockets, Bauhaus) is 50.
Drummer Bill Berry (R.E.M.) is 49.
Actor Wesley Snipes is 45.
Country singer Chad Brock is 44.
Musician Fatboy Slim is 44.
Guitarist Jim Corr of The Corrs is 43.
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is 42.
Actor B.J. Novak (The Office ) is 28.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1961, at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts, the first All-Star Game tie in major league baseball history occured when the game is stopped in the 9th inning because of rain.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Celebrity Deathmatch 12: Rob Schneider vs. White Oprah

Remember last week when Rob Schneider went on the Tonight Show dressed as Lindsay Lohan?

Well Momma Lohan was none too pleased and fired off a statement: "We have a great respect for Jay Leno but we are disappointed in the path he chose to allow a guest to make light of a very serious situation concerning Lindsay," Dina told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush.

Now the celebrity bitch fight is in full effect. Rob Schneider told PEOPLE:

"When Mrs. Lohan stops partying with her child, then I'll have an ounce of respect for her."
"I don't care if her parents are both crummy – you cannot blame your parents anymore. She's not a kid. Lindsay, get it together, America will forgive you but you gotta do something positive with your life," Schneider adds. "I hope she does okay but at a certain point, there's so many bigger problems in the world than Lindsay Lohan. I hope she gets her head out of her nice, cute little rear end and finds a life for herself. She's very talented, and a special little actress but there are so many people out there who'd trade positions with her in a heartbeat and use it better than she is."

Mood Music: FEIST!!!!!


Who says news has to be boring? Obviously not the folks at ABC News. Those dirrrrty bastards may have hired a former Playboy playmate!

ABC News sent an e-mail to its employees last week, reminding them that they shouldn't be cruising adult Web sites on company time.

The reason?

"Word got out that one of the summer interns had nude pictures online," laughed an insider over at ABC. "And everyone was trying to find them."

Someone else said the young woman may have posed for a Playboy college issue.

"There are about 70 interns who come through in the summer, so we're not quite sure who the girl is," said the source.


Birthday ALARM

Actress Jaime Pressly ("My Name is Earl") is 30.

Movie director Peter Bogdanovich is 68.
Singer Paul Anka is 66.
Jazz saxophonist David Sanborn is 62.
Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger is 60.
Actor Jean Reno ("The Da Vinci Code") is 59.
Actress Delta Burke is 51.
Singer-songwriter Kate Bush is 49.
Country singer Neal McCoy is 49.
Actor Laurence Fishburne is 46.
Actress Lisa Kudrow ("Friends") is 44.
Country guitarist Dwayne O'Brien of Little Texas is 43.
Actress Vivica A. Fox is 43.
Actor Terry Crews ("Everybody Hates Chris") is 39.
Director Christopher Nolan ("Memento") is 37.
Actor Tom Green is 36.
Actress Christine Taylor ("The Brady Bunch Movie") is 36.
Comedian Dean Edwards ("Saturday Night Live") is 34.
Actress Hilary Swank is 33.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1975,
Jimmy Hoffa disappeared from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. He is never seen or heard from again.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Lala Laughing Stalk

Defamer reports that at a screening of the Lindsay Lohan film I Know Who Killed Me, the audience erupted into laughter during a scene where Lindsay’s character gets hit in the face with a shovel-- a scene meant to be terrifying.


I'd feel badly for her, however, when you endanger innocent lives by driving a HUGE white GMC truck while drunk and high on cocaine... well, as far as I'm concerned, you're an IDIOT. No sympathy from me my friend.

Birthday ALARM

Singer Pete Yorn is 33.

Actor Jerry Van Dyke (Coach ) is 76.
Actor John Pleshette (Knots Landing ) is 65.
Singer Bobbie Gentry is 63.
Actress-director Betty Thomas (Hill Street Blues ) is 59.
Singer Maureen McGovern is 58.
Actress Roxanne Hart (Chicago Hope ) is 55.
Country guitarist Duncan Cameron of Sawyer Brown is 51.
Country singer Stacy Dean Campbell is 40.
Singer Juliana Hatfield is 40.
Actor Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck ) is 39.
Comedian Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live ) is 35.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1974, Watergate Scandal: The House of Representatives Judiciary Committee voted 27 to 11 to recommend the first article of impeachment against President Richard Nixon: obstruction of justice. DRAMA

Thursday, July 26, 2007


It's the fall heard round the world! In case you haven't seen this. She really is a robot.

Birthday ALARM

Actor Jeremy Piven (Entourage ) is 42.

Actor James Best (The Dukes of Hazzard ) is 81.
Singer Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones is 64.
Actress Helen Mirren is 62.
Drummer Roger Taylor of Queen is 58.
Actress Susan George is 57.
Actor Kevin Spacey is 48.
Actress Sandra Bullock is 43.
Singer Wayne Wonder is 41.
Actor Cress Williams (Close to Home ) is 37.
Actress Kate Beckinsale (The Aviator,Pearl Harbor ) is 34.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1991, Paul Reubens, ("Peewee Herman"), was arrested in a Sarasota, Florida theater for exposing himself.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Denial Denial, I Love You Denial....

For most people, two trips to rehab, a car accident and two incidences involving cocaine found in your property in less than a year would likely be rock bottom. Apparently for Lindsay Lohan, it isn't. After yesterday's DUI her lawyer fired off this statement:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

Now here's Lindsay's statement to Access Hollywood's Billy Bush:

"Yes. I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Would you like an extra side order of denial to go with your already extra-denialy denial casserole? It's only an additional 50 cents. Lindsay and her lawyer can't even get their stories straight. Lawyer says Lindsay is an addict. Lindsay says she doesn't do drugs and the drugs aren't hers. She was framed. The drugs weren't hers, she's innocent and now she's going to dedicate her life to finding the REAL owner of the drugs. And let me guess, a ghost entered her body and made her fail the field sobriety test. It was someone else's alcohol in your system too, right. It sucks that she was so coked up and drunk that she forgot about the coke in her pocket and failed to swallow it on the way to the police station. She even sucks at being a crackhead. Since she couldn't go on the Tonight Show they brought in the next best thing - Rob Schneider in drag as Lindsay Lohan.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Britney Cares About You And Your Weight

Even though her kids were crying and screaming just inches away, Britney Spears took time to express her concern about the paparazzi this weekend. Using a shame-based technique, she invited them to begin a regimen of healthy diet and exercise. Britney said:

"Hey baby, when are you going to get on a diet? Have you ever tried weight watchers, you fat fuck. Why don't you run, you need to fuckin jog, you pussy. Yeah, run, run bitch."

The thing I don't understand here is that it looks like they pull into the parking lot of a "Beds Etc.," she gets out with a bodyguard, and stands there with her phone allowing them to take a few pictures. All the sudden, the papparazzi just leave. Ain't nuffin to see here, folks!

It's Not Deja Vu!

Lindsay Lohan was busted for DUI again after she was involved in some weird, late-night car chase with an Escalade. Police also found drugs on her...again. There are conflicting reports as to what the white powdery substance really is - opiates or cocaine. Judging by the mug shot pupils my money is on cocaine.

Lindsay had been wearing a non-court ordered alcohol monitoring bracelet which was obviously for attention because really, how is an alcohol monitoring anklet useful if it's not backed up by a court order? It’s missing the element of consequence. Completely. All she had to do was NOT drive. It’s that simple. Bitch belongs on VH1’s Rock of Love:

Birthday ALARM

Actress-singer Jennifer Lopez is 39.

Actor Mark Goddard (Lost In Space ) is 71.
Comedian Gallagher is 61.
Actor Robert Hays (Airplane! ) is 60.
Actor Michael Richards (Seinfeld ) is 58.
Actress Lynda Carter is 56.
Director Gus Van Sant is 55.
Actor Kadeem Hardison is 42.
Actress Laura Leighton (Melrose Place ) is 39.
Actor Eric Szmanda (CSI ) is 32.
Actress Elisabeth Moss (The West Wing ) is 25.
Actress Anna Paquin is 25.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, Lance Armstrong won his seventh consecutive Tour de France.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Morrissey Is A Lonely Bitch

I used to love the song, The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get. REMEMBER?!?!? Probably not. Anyhow, Morrissey sang it like 25 years ago. Well, in an attempt to get his name in the tabloids, Morrissey decided to slam Madonna and her newly adopted son, David.

While performing at a PETA benefit show in Norfolk, Virginia, July 9, he dissed, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she made that African boy she adopted into and a coat and wore him for 15 minutes, then threw it away,” presumably blasting Madonna for hopping on the Angelina bandwagon by adopting 21-month old David Banda from Malawi last year.

“In an attempt to trash Madonna, he revealed himself,” a rep for the singer fired back to Usmagazine.com. “What kind of a person could even call up such imagery and words?”

I mean, I love Madonna, but didn't she trade three goats and a cow for this kid?

The 411 on Gay Stupid vs. Gay Homo from Matt Damon

Using the phrase, "that's gay" has become an American pastime. Apparently gay can mean both stupid and homosexual, and below, you'll see an example of how one wildly handsome, mildly talented actor, Matt Damon, uses the phrase himself. Please attempt to discern whether Matt means he's gay or stupid. or both...

Matt Damon's interview in the most recent issue of GQ contained this little nugget about what he and Ben Affleck did with their first big paycheck:

"We both bought Jeep Grand Cherokees. It was funny, because Ben and I, we both always wanted a Jeep Grand Cherokee for some reason. That was the car. We always talked about it but never could afford one. So when we suddenly had the money, we each instantly started trying to convince each other to get a different car. We’d say, ‘Hey, have you seen the Explorer? The Ford Explorer is really cool.’ Because we knew it would just be so gay to get the same car."

This story (and Matt Damon) is both gay stupid and gay homo. I guess this isn't the best example, but you get my point!


YOUR YouTube FIX: Lily Allen Has Three Tits... or wait... I Mean Three Nipples

Lindsay Got Off

The Los Angeles County District Attorney will not charge Lindsay Lohan with a DUI today after her accident at 5:30am on May 27th, when she lost control of her Mercedes SL-65 and crashed into a curb in Beverly Hills. Lindsay, then 20 years old, was speeding and had nearly twice the legal amount of alcohol in her system. Tests later revealed that Lohan had used cocaine that night, according to Us Weekly. A police spokesman said a "usable amount" of cocaine was found at the scene, but not specifically on Lohan. She fled the scene of the accident and was tracked down at a local hospital receiving treatment for very minor injuries. Lindsay turned herself in yesterday afternoon around 3:00pm and was released in about one hour. She has yet to be charged with a crime, but TMZ says:

In an email to TMZ, the spokesperson for the DA told us to "Check back on Monday."

She went back yesterday and turned herself into police. She was fingerprinted and released on her own recognisance. Honest to God, what the fuck does that mean? No, Lindsay, it's coo! Just go ahead and nearly kill someone. Play it off by going to "rehab" for a few days. Come back and then head to court... where they'll tell you, "Hey, Lindsay. Listen girl, we know you're famous and your life is like REALLY hard. So, I'll tell you what. Enjoy your weekend, and come back on Monday! BTW, can I get your autograph for my little girl? She LOVED you in Parent Trap!"

It's cool. [source]

Birthday ALARM

Actor Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter movies) is 18. HE'S LEGAL!

Radio personality Don Imus is 67.
Actor Larry Manetti (Magnum, P.I. ) is 60.
Singer David Essex is 60.
Singer-turned-Congressman John Hall (Orleans) is 59.
Actor Woody Harrelson is 46.
Actor Eriq La Salle (ER ) is 45.
Guitarist Slash of Velvet Revolver (and Guns N' Roses) is 42.
Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman is 40.
Model Stephanie Seymour is 39.
Singer Sam Watters of Color Me Badd is 37.
Singer Dalvin DeGrate of Jodeci is 36.
Country singer Alison Krauss is 36.
Actor-comedian Marlon Wayans (The Wayans Brothers ) is 35.
Actor Omar Epps is 34.
Singer Michelle Williams (Destiny's Child) is 27.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1984, Vanessa Williams became the first Miss America to resign when she surrendered her crown after nude photos of her appeared in Penthouse magazine.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Boys Can Synchronize Too


Before I go.... I found this on Towleroad and had to share.

"While there are certainly adult male synchronized swimming teams, there's little acceptance for males in the sport among school-age kids. That didn't top 16-year-old Kenyon Smith, who acknowledges he was teased for his interest in the sport, from doing his own thing with the Santa Clara Aquamaids as the team's only male synchronized swimmer.

This inspiring clip is from the PBS series The Pursuit of Excellence and features a look at Kenyon's journey."

What's the T Girl?

What is the degaga?

Where have the Celebrity Hijinx bitches been?

Well, one of us is at a conference for work. One of us is without a computer. And, one of us is on vacation until Friday. What's that mean!?


Be kind. We'll be back soon.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Crazy Floats

Last weekend, Kent Couch settled down in his lawn chair with some snacks -- and a parachute. Attached to his lawn chair were 105 large helium balloons. This dude traveled 193 miles - in a LAWN CHAIR attached to balloons. ARE YOU LISTENING?!

By the way, Kent is a gas station owner. I'm not sure what, if anything, you can infer from that, but I figured you should know.

"When you're a little kid and you're holding a helium balloon, it has to cross your mind," Couch told the Bend Bulletin.

Watch Couch make the shot of the day


Jon Lovitz Hits Girls

Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick last weekend at a comedy club in California over the murder of their Saturday Night Live colleague, Phil Hartman.

Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, "Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose." Lovitz told Page Six, "All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole." That's asshole. We can swear here on Celebrity Hijinx. Fuck what you heard!

Lovitz and Dick have been at war since a 1997 Christmas party at Hartman's house, five months before his troubled wife Brynn flipped out, fatally shooting Hartman, then killing herself. "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it - and then five months later he's dead," said Lovitz, adding that when he filled in on Hartman's "Newsradio" sitcom, "I told Andy, 'I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't given Brynn that cocaine.' "


How To Seduce A Straight Guy

10 STEPS: How to seduce a straight jock in ten steps, from Race You to the Bottom which is released on DVD today!!!

Birthday ALARM

Actor David Hasselhoff is 55.

Comedian Phyllis Diller is 90.
Actor Donald Sutherland is 72.
Actress-singer Diahann Carroll is 72.
Guitarist Spencer Davis of the Spencer Davis Group is 65.
Bassist Geezer Butler of Black Sabbath is 58.
Actress Lucie Arnaz is 56.
Singer Phoebe Snow is 55.
Singer Regina Belle is 44.
Bassist Lou Barlow (Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, Folk Implosion) is 41.
Singer Guru of Gang Starr is 41.
Christian singer Susan Ashton is 40.
R&B singer Stokley of Mint Condition is 40.
Actor Andre Royo (The Wire ) is 39.
Actress Bitty Schram (Monk ) is 39.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1955, Disneyland televised its grand opening in Anaheim, California.

Monday, July 16, 2007

This Girl Swallowed JLH

Someone put on a little weight, but I'm not pointing any fingers (as some may mistake them as a biscotti and eat one)

Reminds me of a movie that's out in theaters as we speak...

"THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER-cats thighs!" [source]

I Made It OUT Alive

Holy Fuck.

I was in Ptown for the last few days and I literally don't know how I made it back to my house in Boston in one piece. It's literally a shit-show. I drank and smoked more in the last four days than I have since I was a minor! WTF. It's like everything I ever learned flew right out the window and landed on some half-naked homo.

And, ladies... if you have a gay friend that's super totally hot, MOVE ON. He's not into you. Don't try to have sex with him. It ain't right. His boyfriend will get pissed and most likely cut your long-ass hair when you're sleeping. I'm just sayin.

In any case, if you haven't been to Iloveptown.com, you should. My friends are putting this site together, and they take funny pictures. Go check it out.

YOUR YouTube FIX: Brenda Dickson Welcomes You Into Her Home!

Birthday ALARM

Actor Corey Feldman (Stand By Me) is 36.

Actor-singer Ruben Blades is 59.
Drummer Stewart Copeland of The Police is 55.
Dancer Michael Flatley is 49.
Actress Phoebe Cates is 44.
Country singer Craig Morgan is 43.
Actor Will Ferrell (Saturday Night Live ) is 40.
Actress Rain Pryor (Head of the Class ) is 38.
Singer-guitarist Ed Kowalczyk of Live (LYV) is 36.
Actor Mark Indelicato (Ugly Betty ) is 13.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, the sixth book in the popular Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling was released to record sales of 287,564 books per hour in its first 24 hours, making it the fastest selling book in history.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Guessing Game...

from PageSix:

WHICH hip-hop legend is going to go broke paying child support? Besides his known baby mamas, seven months ago, a member of his entourage gave birth to another child of his, which was the last straw for his girlfriend.

Sean Combs. For those of you who don't know, P. Diddy's babies' momma Kim Porter just left him after twin girls in Dec and 10 years of off-and-on relationship matters. He seriously pays out like tens of thousands of dollars per month per kid.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: This Is What Happens When Only Hot Women Are on The News

A Chicago television reporter, Amy Jacobson, left her job after she was caught on video in a swimsuit at the home of a man whose wife is missing. Amy was assigned to the story. Scandal!

Jacobson's attorney, Kathleen Zellner, said she was concerned the media would distort the contents of the tape. "She wasn't fired. There was no drinking. No one was sitting in a hot tub. She wasn't anywhere near him (Craig Stebic)," Zellner said. "(Stebic's) sister invited her to drop by." Jacobson was assigned to cover the disappearance of Stebic's wife, Lisa, who still lived with her husband while the two went through a divorce. No one has been charged in the case, which has generated high interest here since the young mother of two disappeared April 30. Stebic's husband was the last person to see her, but police have said he is not a suspect in the disappearance. On the day she disappeared, Lisa Stebic had mailed off a petition seeking to remove her husband from the home. In the divorce case, she accused him of being "unnecessarily relentless, cruel, inconsiderate, domineering and verbally abusive." Jacobson, leaves behind a staff that includes Marion Brooks, who had to testify last year about her four-year relationship with former Atlanta Mayor Bill Campbell that began when she was an anchor in that city.

The moral of the story: stay away from house of a guy who has an "estranged" wife who happen to be "missing" especially when you're a good-looking reporter who is assigned to the story and especially especially if you're in a halter bikini top. Meanwhile, in related news-scandal news:

In Los Angeles, at Spanish-language Telemundo station KVEA-TV—newscaster Mirthala Salinas was only placed on a leave of absence from her duties earlier this month pending review after it was revealed she had been having an affair with Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who separated in June from his wife of 20 years. Salinas has covered the mayor, including the news of his separation.

(Dan's) Mood Music - Rozalla

Guessing Game...

all via Gatecrasher:

Which still-young household-name star lost her virginity at 17 to another household-name star after he started dating that other household-name star whom he later married? But you won't see this hookup mentioned in anyone's "A&E Biography": In California, that's statutory rape.

My guess: Initially I thought maybe an Olsen, John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn. Upon further critical reading, it appears as if the underage hookup came before the wedding. John and Rebecca married in 1998 so the timing isn’t right. I’m still take Olsen as the virginity-losing star for 1000.

Which Hollywood actor/singer couple recruits coeds from the UCLA campus to spice up their sex life?

My guess: Fergie and Josh Duhamel? She’s said she’s super sexual and interested in girls during interviews.

Which celebrity appendage whose name is synonymous with "gay husband" spent time in an NYC hotel room last week with two gentleman friends?

My guess: Al Reynolds.

Do You Speaka Da Engrish?

What do you get when you add the words gigantic + enormous? Ginormous, dumbass!

Merriam-Webster has decided to add the compounded word in the latest edition of the dictionary, along with Bollywood, sudoku and speed dating.

Of course, some smartypants-a-hole-linguistic-conservative (likely republican) professor named Allan Metcalf, a professor of English at MacMurray College in Jacksonville, Il, says that words like ginormous should not be included in the dictionary. "A new word that stands out and is ostentatious is going to sink like a lead balloon," he said. "It might enjoy a fringe existence." Much like his hair. Check this dude out!! haha

But Merriam-Webster traces ginormous back to 1948, when it appeared in a British dictionary of military slang. And in the past several years, its use has become, well, ginormous.


Mood Music: Arrested Development

I really felt like hearing this song but it turns out the original video isn't on YouTube sooooo here's the song with some random pictures. Since mood music is mainly about audio, nobody gets hurt right? This is what they did before music videos.

Quote It!

Celebrity Clone: Don't Feel Bad Nicky, Wiener Purses Never Caught On Either

Judging from this picture, Nicky Hilton is clearly Dawn Weiner's long lost sister. Let's home they're planning a "Welcome to the Dollhouse" remake - Nicky might have herself a real job. ..using the term 'real' very very loosely...

Birthday ALARM (cause wakin' up is hard to do...)

Actor Justin Chambers (Grey's Anatomy) is 37.

Actor Tab Hunter is 76.
Ventriloquist Jay Johnson (Soap) is 58.
Actor Bruce McGill (Animal House) is 57.
Singer Bonnie Pointer of the Pointer Sisters is 57.
Actress Mindy Sterling (Austin Powers) is 54.
Actress Sela Ward is 51.
Guitarist Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi is 48.
Singer Suzanne Vega is 48.
Actress Lisa Rinna (Dancing with the Stars,Days of Our Lives ) is 44.
Actress Debbe Dunning (Home Improvement) is 41.
Actor Greg Grunberg (Heroes,Felicity) is 41.
Actor Michael Rosenbaum (Smallville) is 35.
Rapper Lil' Kim is 32.
Rapper Lil' Zane is 25.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1960, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee was first published.

Anorexia Chronicles: Breaking Up With John Mayer: It Does A Body Good

Happy Birthday to her. I'll have whatever she's having...or I guess not have whatever she's not having. Seriously, can the magic (disappearing) belly fairy stop by and take mine too? Please. Pretty please.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Mood Music: Sia - Breathe Me

Wolf Gets Blitzed by Michael Moore

Filmmaker Michael Moore gives Wolf Blitzer a rare "live" piece of his mind on Iraq, Fahrenheit 911, Dick Cheney, and the sponsorship of medical segments on CNN by pharmaceutical companies.

And Moore follows up on his promise to respond to Dr. Sanjay Gupta's "debunking" of some of the facts in Moore's film Sicko.

Blue Cross has issued a memo of internal 'talking points' to respond to the film.

Beyonce Is Either Blind or a Robot

It was all fun and games at the Saint Louis Beyonce concert, until a pyrotechnic fell from the ceiling, injuring two people. The two fans were taken to a local hospital and treated with only minor injuries. After the concert, Beyonce made a quiet visit to the E.R. at Barnes-Jewish Hospital to visit the fans, both of whom were expected to make full recoveries.

The best part of the clip is that Beyonce doesn't even seem to flinch. That bitch is all work and no play. Someone's weave caught on fire, BUT THE SHOW MUST CONTINUE! It reminds me of a clip that circulated the a few years back when Destiny's Child was still together. Michelle - you remember, she was the skinny, skelator-looking one with the horrible voice - completely wiped out on stage, and Kelly and just kept like nothing even happened. They didn't even reach over to help the poor girl up, which is sad because Michelle hasn't eaten since the 4grade, and it was really hard for her to muster the strength to get up on her own. For those of you who have forgotten... please see below.

Birthday ALARM

Singer Jessica Simpson is 27.

Singer Mavis Staples is 68.
Actor Mills Watson (B.J. and the Bear,Lobo ) is 67.
Guitarist Jerry Miller of Moby Grape is 64.
Actor Ron Glass (Barney Miller ) is 62.
Actress Sue Lyon is 61.
Folk singer Arlo Guthrie is 60.
Singer Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys is 53.
Actor Adrian Grenier (Entourage,Cecil B. DeMented ) is 31.
Actor Thomas Ian Nicholas (American Pie ) is 27.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1925 - Scopes Trial: In Dayton, Tennessee, the so-called "Monkey Trial" began with John T. Scopes, a young high school science teacher, accused of teaching evolution in violation of a Tennessee state law.

Monday, July 09, 2007

YOUR YouTube FIX: Old Skool Shit

Birthday ALARM

Singer Courtney Love is 43.

Actor Brian Dennehy is 69.
Actor Richard Roundtree is 65.
Actor Chris Cooper is 56.
TV personality-turned-musician John Tesh is 55.
Country singer David Ball is 54.
Singer Debbie Sledge of Sister Sledge is 53.
Actor Jimmy Smits is 52.
Actor Tom Hanks is 51.
Singer Marc Almond of Soft Cell is 50.
Actress Kelly McGillis is 50.
Singer Jim Kerr of Simple Minds is 48.
Bassist Frank Bello of Anthrax is 42.
Actor David O'Hara ("The District") is 42.
Actor Scott Grimes ("ER," "Party of Five") is 36.
Actor Fred Savage is 31.
Singer Dan Estrin of Hoobastank is 31.
Singer Kiely Williams of 3LW is 21.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2001, WCW and ECW joined forces on Monday Night Raw creating The Alliance and starting the Invasion storyline.

Friday, July 06, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Kids These Days...

Dino and I often scan crazy news stories to find the best "YOUR 15 MINUTES." While some stories are strange (like chinese acrobats who were being held as slaves), they just shouldn't be entertainment. Then there are stories that shouldn't be entertaining but are...like this one:

Police who chased a car for miles along a highway at speeds up to 100 mph said the driver was drunk, hardly a rarity in this resort town. But there was more: When they looked inside the flipped vehicle with guns drawn, they found an 11-year-old girl at the wheel. "You go up there thinking it's a felon you're dealing with," assistant police Chief Greg Duck said. The girl, who was slightly injured in the crash, is now charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, reckless endangerment and leaving the scene of an accident. Duck said she sideswiped another vehicle during the roughly 8-mile chase. The chase began around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday when a patrol officer near the Florida line saw the car speeding west along a beach highway, Duck said. When the officer flicked on his lights, the driver sped up. The girl rolled the car just inside the Gulf Shores city limit. Duck said the girl, whose name was not released because of her age, told police she was on her way to pick up her sister at a concert. Investigators found no alcohol in the car but believe the girl drank before getting behind the wheel of the car, which belongs to relatives. Duck declined to release the girl's blood alcohol level but said a blood test at the hospital showed it was higher than .02, the legal limit for minors. [source]

Damn girl!!! She is going to be a fun one when she gets to college. IF she gets to college. See parents, this is what happens when your young daughters idolize people like Paris Hilton.

Wrong Number.

Are you there God, it's me xine. Why...why couldn't this happen to me?

For months, Shira Barlow's cell phone was flooded with wrong-number calls and text messages, mostly between 2 and 4 a.m. on weekends. Told they had reached a college student, callers refused to believe it. "Baby girl, how are you?" one man purred in a foreign accent. "Why are you doing this?" a woman asked. "This is so rude." And there were several seemingly random references to "Paris." As in Paris Hilton.

Barlow's story began on Valentine's Day during a night out with friends. She was carrying her phone in a back pocket when it fell into a toilet. When she replaced it, her wireless company insisted on assigning the San Francisco native a new number with a 310 area code rather than 415. Barlow had been given a recycled phone number that used to be Hilton's. The practice stems from efforts to conserve phone numbers to minimize area-code splitting.

Just after Barlow got her new phone close to Hilton's February 17 birthday, a flurry of calls and texts arrived. "Oh my God," one caller said. "Where's the party?" Then came the day Hilton was sentenced to jail after violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. Messages about parties were replaced by dozens expressing condolences. "People were scared for her," Barlow said. The phone traffic trailed off when Hilton entered jail last month. But when Hilton was released, a new crop of messages flooded in. "It's disgusting how they treated you in there, but once again you have showed the world that you can do anything," one wrote. Barlow said she has resisted the temptation to pose as Hilton to get into exclusive parties. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? - You'd either have to be dumb, fat or REALLY REALLY into college to resist that!!! But she did message supporters "thanks so much," believing Hilton would appreciate it. Barlow plans to keep the number because she says it has been a greater source of amusement than a hassle. "It was really out of convenience," she added. "I didn't want to switch again." [source]

I would've had so much more fun with this! ...and I know a little prankster named Dan who would've had even more fun.

She's baaaaack...

So...Lindsay Lohan just turned 21 and was simultaneously released from rehab (although I thought she was extending her stay). What's a girl to do? Why not party everyday in Malibu!!! Lindsay has been out and about partying but she's technically at a house and not a club so she's like totally rehabilitated. Look at this face - this is a face of sobriety: I think the only thing she gained from rehab is 12 pounds and the beginning of an extra chin. Mean.

Birthday ALARM

Actor Burt Ward (Batman) is 61.

Talk show host Merv Griffin is 82.
Actress-singer Della Reese is 76.
Actor Ned Beatty is 70.
Actor Sylvester Stallone is 61.
Singer Nanci Griffith is 54.
Actress Allyce Beasley (Moonlighting) is 53.
Rapper Inspectah Deck of Wu-Tang Clan is 37.
Rapper Homophobe 50 Cent is 31.
Actresses Tia and Tamera Mowry (Sister, Sister) are 29.
Actor Jeremy Suarez (Bernie Mac) is 17.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, the International Olympic Committee announced that London will host the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Pop Quiz: Sex or Spice

Question 1:
What confirmed "reunion" would you rather see - the Spice Girls on tour or the Sex and The City girls on the silver screen?

Question 2:
What set of reunited girls will have the most ridiculous outfits?

Question 3:
Which reunion should be set at a senior-living complex?

Bonus Question for +5 Points:
What girl group is in need of ethnic diversity?

One Pansy-Pushing Blind Vice

Bulbous Seymour is one fine piece o' man-lovin’ meat. Not a bad actor, either. But Bulbous knows—just like most audiences and H-town execs are aware—that his best talents lie not on the silver screen but in the golden nether regions of B.S.’ impressive bod. Yeah, he’s a stud. And what do studs do best? Now, before I get too carried away on whatever (or whomever) Bulbous utilizes his heavenly powers for—this Blind Vice ain’t about him. Well, not exactly. See, Mr. Es has been doing what we here at the Awful Truth live for: gossiping about other closeted homosexual movie stars! Too fun for the hard-abbed tum! Delish, darlin's, so let’s get to whom B.S. is blabbin’ ‘bout:

Toothy Tile, natch. You were expecting Gussy 'n' Fussy, perhaps? Like, who cares about those ersatz het jokers anymore? (Not too many folks, I assure ya.) Nah, it’s all about Toothy Tile—and when the hell this gorgeous scaredy-puss is gonna disclose his sexual pref, already—and Bulbous knows this fagola factoid. So much so, he’s been mouthing off at chic Hell-Ay events about just how Toothy isn’t foolin’ anybody. Well, I beg to differ. Had I been at this one par-tick fancy-schmancy soiree, I would have gladly explained to B.S. that half of Bush’s “Mare-kuh” thinks T.T. is as heterosexual as our current prez. Wait, Bush is straight, isn’t he? Don’t answer that, actually, do not want to go there…

Back to B.S., who’s clearly dying for Toothy’s sexuality to come to the surface so the media will ease off his dubious dame-doin' existence. Uh, word to the unwise wower: Boyfriend, you just keep on gettin’ higher 'n' higher at those swell dos you go to. You’ll be outing Toothy long before anybody like moi would ever dream of doing so. It ain't: Sean Penn, Colin Ferrell or Will Smith.

Um...Matthew McConneenaheay. I obviously don't know how to spell his last name. :) Owen Wilson. Luke Wilson. Oh, and Toothy Tile is Jake Gylleehaaaaal. God, these last names. Why can't every famous person have a name like Will Smith so I don't have to be google searching all the time?


Here is a clip of Charles Gibson reporting the story. I almost posted a version from FOX news, but fuck that network.

Birthday ALARM

Singer Jason Wade of Lifehouse is 27.

Actress Katherine Helmond (Who's The Boss) is 73.
Actress Shirley Knight is 71.
Musician Robbie Robertson is 64.
Singer Huey Lewis is 57.
Singer Marc Cohn is 48.
Actress Edie Falco (The Sopranos ) is 44.
Actres Kathryn Erbe (Law and Order: Criminal Intent ) is 42.
Rapper RZA is 38.
Singer Joe is 34.
Rapper Bizarre of D12 is 31.
Bassist Nick O'Malley of Arctic Monkeys is 22.

FUN FACT: On this day in 1946, the bikini was introduced in Paris, France.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Happy Forth of July, Celebrity Hijinx peeps!

This is a video for the song Fireworks by Animal Collective. It's fun... like perfect for the holiday.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

YOUR (MY) 15 MINUTES: I Know I'm A Little Superficial But...

I'm a total yuppie. I admit it. I bought health insurance for my puppy and I don't care if it sounds ridiculous. In fact, once I overcame my limited personal feelings of ridiculousness, I began reading over the policy only to uncover more ridiculousness. In the part about excluded conditions, a few of them struck me as particularly humorous:No puppy nosejobs
No puppy braces
And when the puppy freaks out because she can't fix her crooked nose and teeth, you better come up with another way to deal with it because they aren't paying for that either.

Luckily Celebrity Hijinx mascot, Lucia, is picture perfect

Xine's Update For Today

I thought today was going to be a produtive blog day for me considering I started off my morning with a conversation in which I psychoanalyzed Dino's nipples. Alas, it didn't work out that well. So, I'm going to cover a few random things in one nice, little blog entry:

1. My laptop died. This is my second laptop death this year leaving me only with a desktop at home and a desktop at work - both of which are not blog-friendly. This time my Dell laptop kicked it. I received the blue screen of death (pictured below). If anyone knows how to help me, it would be much appreciated. A magical incentive is that once the laptop is fixed, I will post more often.2. Some genius at the Diet Pepsi factory innovated Diet Pepsi Max - Invigorating Cola like a month ago. I swear it just made it to the Diet Pepsi shelf at my grocery store yesterday. Trust me, I'm like a hawk. Anyway, it has twice the caffeine of regular Diet Pepsi. It also includes ginseng so I'm now able to categorize my out-of-control Diet Pepsi addiction as "healthy,"right? Really, in my world this is Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. Or at least a runner-up on American Inventor. Go buy it. Stop wasting your money on Red Bull. This will give you wings for about 50 cents and it doesn't taste like medicine. 3. Last but not least, Nicole Richie is still carrying stuff in front of her stomach while neither publicly confirming or denying a pregnancy. This leads me to believe she's knocked up. Rumor has it the baby will be named Publicity.....I mean Felicity.


Jim, 1974. Yah, it wants its hair back

(former) Movie star Jim Carrey was seen in Malibu this weekend with some adorable puppies.

But, OMG dude, that hair.


YOUR YouTube FIX: Paris Done Lied to Us

Can Someone Get Isaiah Washington a Kleenex?

Talk about career suicide. Isaiah Washington went on the Larry King Live show to discuss his recent dismissal from the ABC show, Grey's Anatomy. Now, Larry King has no shame; he had Paris Hilton on like a week ago, and he's no stranger to bullshit news stories, but Isaiah, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ANYMORE.

Here's how this shit went down:

Isaiah blamed costar Patrick Dempsey's repeated tardiness to the Grey's Anatomy set for the blow-up that resulted in Isaiah having to use the word faggot. Hmph.

Isaiah said he regretted not confronting Dempsey the first time he was late, so the second time, he felt he had to play hardball. But Dempsey wanted to delay the scene more to wait for Ellen Pompeo, who plays Grey, before shooting began.

"I said I don't need Ellen, I can act," Isaiah told Larry King. "And that was the moment that sent it into a different zone."

"He became unhinged, sprayed spittle in my face," Isaiah said. "I'm asking him why is he screaming at me. ... He just becomes irate."

I said several bad words," he recalled, quoting himself as telling Dempsey: "There's no way you're going to treat me like the B-word, the P-word or the F-word."

Let me fill in the blanks: "There's no way you're going to treat me like the BITCH, the PUSSY or the FAGGOT."

I can't hate the dude too much, I mean, those are a few of my favorite words too. But honestly, enough already. Find a new job dude. Game over. I guess I should thank my lucky stars I haven't lost my job too. Bitch is the second most used word in my vocabulary, second only to suck-it.


Birthday ALARM

Actor Tom Cruise is 45.

Actor Kurtwood Smith (That 70s Show) is 64.
Actor Michael Cole (The Mod Squad) is 62.
Country singer Johnny Lee is 61.
Actress Betty Buckley is 60.
Actress Jan Smithers (WKRP In Cincinnati) is 58.
Talk show host Montel Williams is 51.
Synthesizer player Vince Clarke of Erasure is 47.
Actor Thomas Gibson (Dharma and Greg) is 45.
Actress Hunter Tylo is 45.
Actress Connie Nielsen (Gladiator) is 43.
Actress Yeardley Smith (The Simpsons) is 43.
Keyboardist-guitarist Kevin Hearn of Barenaked Ladies is 38.
Actor Grant Rosenmeyer (Oliver Beene) is 16.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, the national law legalizing same-sex marriage took effect in Spain.

Monday, July 02, 2007

One Horny Improvement Blind Vice

Houses in Hell-Ay, just as domiciles round the world sometimes can be, are often used as backgrounds for movie and TV film projects as well as photo shoots. In fact, there are companies that specifically farm out T-town’s more posh houses for whatever media project comes a-callin’—and I’m not talkin’ porno shoots (that’s a diff number ya call, trust). These housing minders like to think they’re discreet (usually they are) finaglers of design and commerce, sort of architectural matchmakers, if you will. Very snitty and highbrow, exclusive, that sorta thang.

Which is why Butt-Burning Bruce, media and film legend of sorts, called one particular firm like the ones mentioned above. B3 hasn’t exactly been working that much as of late (so, no, all you hard-working detectives, it ain’t Monsieur Willis, I’ll say that much right now). Mr. Bee, uh, needed some loot—fast. What better way to score some major quickie moolah than to rent out his supercool lovelorn pad perched so magnificently in the City of Fallen Heartthrobs, right? So, he did. And now he regrets doing so.

See, when the film company that subsequently came in to take advantage of B.B.B.’s hipper-than-slick streamlined job, what just about everybody involved on the project got instead was what B. left in the oversize master b-room. And, no, I don’t mean he simply forgot to flush. Butt-Burning failed to remove a fancy jewelry box from a polished bathroom counter. Not that fabulous gems and baubles could have been stolen, not at all. Carats of far greater value (i.e., kinkiness) were inside: sex toys, to be exact. Guess they’d been placed on the counter for washing, one supposes. And sure as you can smell a whole lotta strawberry-flavored lube right about now, B3 had an entire assortment of dildos, whips and ticklers in the wooden container. Used. All of it. Gross me out with an industrial-size bottle of 409, already! Hey, Bruce, don’t you know you’re supposed to put that crap in the dishwasher, boyfriend? Gosh, straight guys never know how to get really debauched efficiently, do they? (By the by, B-boy, those playthings for your partner—or you?) It aint: Harrison Ford, Hoff, Cuba Gooding or Bruce Willis. It could be: Tom Cruise but I doubt he needs the money. Um...it has to be someone who was once hunky but now kinda a nobody - like Mickey Rourke...but then again why would we care?

Birthday ALARM

Actress Lindsay Lohan is 21.

Actor Robert Ito (Quincy ) is 76.
Actress Polly Holliday (Alice ) is 70.
Actor Ron Silver (West Wing,Veronica's Closet ) is 61.
Writer-director Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm,Seinfeld ) is 60.
Keyboardist Roy Bittan of the E Street Band is 58.
Model-actress Jerry Hall is 51.
Actor Jimmy McNichol is 46.
Bassist Dave Parsons of Bush is 42.
Actress Yancy Butler (Witchblade ) is 37.
Singer Michelle Branch is 24.
Actress Vanessa Lee Chester (The Lost World: Jurassic Park ) is 23.
Actress Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical ) is 22.

FUN FACT: On this day in 2005, ten Live 8 concerts were held around the world in an attempt to force G8 countries to address poverty.