Because "Chubby Shady" just doesn't have that ring to it...

Earlier in the month we brought you Eminem straight from his SuperBowl party where he showed off his big-old-dooky booty and introduced his new adolescent-butch-lesbian-gangsta look. The honeymoon may not be over yet with his re-wife Kim but the honeymoon is totally over when it comes to Em's weight gain. He apparently took one look at himself at the Grammy awards (and probably this picture of his BEE-hind) and decided he doesn't quite look like he used to and he should probably do something about it. He thinks he's fat. I just think something feminine happened to his face.

It's now rumored that he's paying $15,000 to the same trainer who's also trying desperately to return Janet Jackson to a fraction of the woman she currently is. While Janet needs to slim down before her record company will release her next album, I'm sure Eminem is just trying to make sure his nickname "Slim Shady" doesn't become ironic and his wife doesn't leave him again.

Nothing is wrong with a few post-marriage pounds but he really does need to hire someone to turn him back into a man. STAT. Once that happens I'm sure this whole re-marriage thing will work out just fine. The real slim shady vs. the really pudgy slim shady: