I got the gold medal in 'not falling'...

Drrrr-ama! Apparently all you had to do to win a women's figure skating gold medal was NOT FALL on your tiny, muscular, ice skater butt. Even Irina "I'm-so-glad-I-don't-have-your-last-name" Slutskaya, the world's number one skater, surprisingly wiped out and did a weakly-finished performance for a piece of bronze. Sasha Cohen fell on her first TWO jumps but managed to complete a fabulous performance for a silver medal. A Japanese girl and the number 9 skater in the world, Shizuka Arakawa (who should've received a gold medal for "best costume") did an ultra-conservative performance and managed to NOT fall for the gold. I'm almost sorry I stayed up until midnight watching this. I give them credit though. The closest I'll ever get to a silver or gold medal is by buying myself some jewelry.