Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Life & Style, I'm calling your bluff

According to Life & Style magazine and other gossip mongers, cupid’s arrow was off target and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are officially over just in time for my favorite Hallmark holiday; V-day. Crushing, I know. The thoughts of fat, pregnant Katie Holmes sitting in a mansion with a big old lip herpe and no pink Valentine with little hearts all over it to open just makes me want to curl up in a ball and go to bed at 6pm like a senior citizen. What's more depressing than a girl getting dumped in her 7th month of pregnancy? Getting dumped in her 8th? Ok, I’m not particularly fond of this odd couple but I’m going to call Life & Style out on this story. It reeks of day-old bullshit to me. The article states (and I quote) :

Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom’s saying: “Their relationship is basically over.” Another friend adds: “They both agreed that the marriage wouldn’t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.” The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby’s birth this spring. In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home — though sleeping in separate bedrooms — through the summer. Then, presumably, they’ll announce a separation — but Tom plans to buy Katie a home nearby so he can visit his child whenever he wishes. “They’ll share custody,” says the friend, who claims the couple are drawing up a legal document to provide for Katie’s and the baby’s financial well-being for life. “Tom will set up Katie and the baby,” adds the pal. [source]

First of all, according to this story, nothing definitive is set to happen until spring after Katie gives birth giving them ample time to conjure up a “KATIE AND TOM MAKE UP FOR THEIR ALIEN BABY’S ARRIVAL” headline complete with pictures of the once again happy couple to make up for this story. Secondly, this story uses words like presumably, which when I last checked the dictionary in my head meant something along the lines of ‘within reasonable assumption'. And finally, I see this as a desperate $1.99 attempt to sell magazines. It’s just too coincidental that the couple who got engaged at the ever-cheesy Eiffel tower location would now break up just in time to make it to the Valentine’s Day newsstands….and how do we even know there’s a wedding planned or this whole thing isn’t a giant charade? I don't like to be a cynic or anything (or maybe I do)... I'm completely cognizant that the tabloid machines crank out articles like this to fill up empty space and I'm totally capable of cranking out similar articles but this one just annoyed me. Nice try Life & Style but this $1.99 is going toward a diet Red Bull (and I’m fully aware that it has less caffeine than a Starbucks coffee, thank you.)

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