What do Anna Nicole and the Supreme Court have in common?

Nothing…until tomorrow when her multimillion-dollar inheritance will be argued there.

After over 10 years, a failed reality show, some substance abuse a Trim Spa diet and an exposed boobie or two on TV, Anna Nicole Smith is still beating down Lady Justice's door to get those millions of dollars left behind by her dead oil tycoon hubby. She has stamina! Just in case you forgot, here’s the Celebrity Hijinx version of the deal:

Anna Nicole aka Vicki Lynn Hogan White Trash Smith was a divorced mother of one with a resume of frying chicken and dancing naked when she discovered oil at the strip club where she was an employee. She started dating her 80 something-year-old oil billionaire, J. Howard Marshall and in 1994, the rich, demented, practically-on-his-deathbed, senior citizen made her his wife. By this time she was 26 and he was 89. And surprise...He died 14 months after their wedding. His son, Pierce Marshall was the primary beneficiary of his $1.6 billion estate; however, Anna Nicole claimed that after her husband’s death, Pierce destroyed documents related to the assets he designated for her. Anna, the little Beverly Hillbilly is that she is, wants the money and will gladly take the modern-day way of getting rich by suing the hell out of her stepson. They’ve been through a number of lesser-court proceedings paving the way to this little vacation to the Supreme Court...a court that apparently has too much time on its hands.

Here’s what I personally learned from this saga:
First, if you’re 26 and you stumble upon an 89 year-old billionaire and you can actually bring yourself to marry him…for the love of all that is good, get him to draft you up some legal documents regarding your inheritance like way before you go on your retirement village honeymoon. Secondly, if you’re the child of an 89 year-old billionaire who is in failing heath and might be easily taken advantage of by young, beautiful women and you don’t want to lose your inheritance, DO NOT LET YOUR DAD HANG OUT IN STRIP CLUBS. Lastly, Mom you were totally wrong -- it’s completely possible to get by on looks alone and you CAN be a millionaire without a college degree so as I sit here with over a master's degree worth of college debt, I hold you responsible for misleading me into thinking I couldn't get anywhere with just my pretty face. ...and yes I'm completely aware that I just killed my point by using Anna Nicole's life as an example to prove it.

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