Publicity Whore (No, Not Paris Hilton)

It's strange to think about the lengths people will go to for attention. Call it self-serving narcissism, or all it gratuitous self promotion, or perhaps shameless marketing tactics... in this case however, I'm calling it like I see it... and Beanie Siegel... you're just a fucking idiot!

The photograph above is of Beanie Sigel leaving a Philadelphia hospital yesterday morning, after suffering gun shot wounds to both arms in what police believe was an attempted robbery.

I will attempt to provide a bulleted list to illustrate why I believe this "alleged" shooting was a publicity stunt, and why Beanie Segel should be considered a retarded version of David Blaine - the ultimate publicity whore.

• Beanie was shot around 8:00 a.m. Sources say that Sigel was found near 22nd and Sigel Street, the street from which the rapper's name derives. Curious...
• Sigel told police that five black men in two vehicles boxed him in and that a bearded man in jeans and boots opened fired, hitting the rapper once in his upper-right arm. I know you're fat dude, but come on. Boxed in by two cars? I know a retarded three-legged dog that could probably maneuver his way outta that one.
• Sigel's wallet, watch and money were taken. 5 black men boxed you in with two cars, shot you in both arms, and only took your wallet, your watch, and some money? My house got robbed a few months back and they got away with more. Seems worth it, right? Uh, no.
• Reps for Sigel said that the rapper went straight to the studio after the shooting to finish recording songs for his new album, tentatively titled The Bad Guy. Maybe he raps better on Codeine.
• Sigel is planning to release an untitled song this weekend (May 27). Coincidence?

Hey Beanie, sorry to blow up your spot, but I'm still not going to buy your album.

[source]