One Heh-Heh-Heh Blind Vice

Grabby Goose-Egg, a major H-town playah, fooled around on his classy wife for ages--old story, to everybody save Missus Goose-Egg, who was roundly humiliated when she discovered her hubby's regular diddling sessions with Girlfriend Hex. It was worthy of a bad Julia Roberts movie, really.

Eventually, G.G.E. did the typical-male thang: He dumped the wife who had always stood by him (not to mention provided him with a family) and married the vixen S&M type. Doncha just know how happy they are together now? No? Well, more on that surprise ending in a sec.

First, gotta tell ya the first Missus G.E.'s fancy-pants buds, on the boards of most Hell-Ay charities, have mouths that make truck-driver bitchery pale in comparison. See, when they discuss the new Missus Goose-Egg, they typically use words that not even I would deign to repeat--and for this Texas-born trash collector, babycakes, that's sayin' somethin'.

What, have recent hell-raising hookups finally made Tinseltown spouses stand up and revolt? Perhaps.

It's no question, though, that the original sinner, Grabby himself, is up to his old tricks again. He's treating his va-va-voom bride like crap, ditching her to watch sports, among other manly activities, every chance he gets.

Fitting, no?

And it ain't...

Ho hum. This is a little difficult. The guy has to be old but not too old that we don't care. I dunno -- Kevin Costner (because of that whole massage incident) or Michael Douglas (because Catherine Zeta-Jones seems like a biotch.)