Smells Like Frivolous Lawsuit

This guy is suing and I don’t blame him. If I looked like that I’d sue too -- my parents for the bad DNA, K-Mart for selling those ugly jeans and 1992 for making those shoes popular. This guy is a paparazzo who is suing Britney Spears because her mom ran over his foot. I did this once: after a sporting event in high school, I ran over my teammate’s foot because I’m a bad driver and she walked in front of my car. It hurt a little but we laughed about it. If she wanted to sue, I would’ve recommended suing my mother because my parents have a hell of a lot more money than me. I haven’t talked to her in about 10 years but last I heard she was doing just fine. Here’s the deal:

The incident occurred in June 2004, when Spears, her sister Jamie Lynn and her mother Lynne were leaving a Santa Monica pet store. A number of paparazzi, including the plaintiff Cullen Reavley, crowded around the vehicle. The car, we're told, was owned by Lynne, she was also the one who was driving. Reavley fell to the ground, claiming Lynne ran over his foot. Police and paramedics were called and Reavley was taken to the hospital. Although police were called, they reportedly determined Lynne had nothing wrong and she was not ticketed. In the lawsuit, filed at the Beverly Hills Courthouse, Reavley claims he suffered injuries to the "head, neck, back, trunk and extremities, all of which have caused and continue to cause plaintiff great mental, physical and nervous pain and suffering." The suit goes on to claim that the "injuries will result in permanent disability. In addition to Britney, Reavley is suing Lynne and Britney Touring, Inc. for unspecified damages, in excess of $25,000."

I have no idea how his head, neck, back, trunk, extremities and psyche were damaged in the running over of the foot incident. Sounds like Reavley’s favorite song is: "The foot bone connected to the ankle bone. The ankle bone connected to the leg bone. The leg bone connected to the knee bone. The knee bone connected to the thigh bone. The thigh bone connected to the hip bone. The hip bone connected to the back bone. The back bone connected to the shoulder bone. The shoulder bone connected to the neck bone. The neck bone connected to the head bone.”

Hopefully Brit and Lynn countersue.

Judge Xine’s verdict: Dude, she ran over your foot because you walked in front of her car. Shave that goatee, cut your mop, buy some jeans that were made in the 21st century, get over it and get a real job. I rule in favor of the defendants (Britney and Lynn) and award the defendants whatever they hell they want in their countersuit. ...although it's doubtful he much more than this ugly ass outfit. [source]