You Know It's Not His: DNA Test

I hate when that happens -- you get knocked up, it turns into a HUGE deal and you really don't know who the father is because you slept with another guy right around the “fertile” time of the month. You never know when it's the "right" time to tell your boyfriend that the baby might not be his because, frankly, there's no really good time to do that. So in a moment of weakness you end up having the baby and your conscience gets the best of you. The next think you know you're on stage at the Maury show with "9 Men Tested and Still No Father" on the bottom left of everyone's TV screen. Except you’re not the one with 9 potential fathers, which makes you think a little and then you’re like "fuck...I don't think now is the right time either." Before you can make any drastic moves to get out of this situation (like spontaneously combust), Maury calls out the boyfriend from backstage. Of course the boyfriend has no idea what's going on because he can't imagine his loving girlfriend cheating on him. Then Maury just blurts out "tell him your secret" so you blurt out some nonsense about being drunk, sex, the baby, blah blah blah. The audience is all like "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH nuh uh NO SHE DIDN'T boooo boooo booo." The boyfriend drops to his knees, sobbing and screaming "I love that baby like it's my own.” Then he runs backstage and you have to chase after him and shit but you can't really see because the studio lights are really bright. Maury comes running after you offering a paternity test from the DNA Diagnostic Center like a knight in shining armor. The boyfriend wants the test so then you have to wait to tape the rest of the show 48 hour hours later, and it ruins your whole free trip to New York.