Cry Me A River

Lindsay Lohan was robbed...and I'm not talking about "of real talent." Someone swiped her orange Hermes bag off her luggage cart at London's Heathrow airport. The bag contained up somewhere around $1 million worth of jewelry, her asthma medicine and probably her cigarettes and illegal drugs. I'm sure she was just too fucked up to notice someone stealing her purse from in front of her face. Lindsay's materialistic ass is extremely upset about the theft and she is begging for the items to be returned. She doesn't care how she gets them back, she just wants them back. Aw, shucks Lindsay...karma sucks, huh? You know this just gives her an excuse to go shopping and her new, rich boyfriend to buy her more jewelry.