Fergie: The Duchess of Pork

Stacy Ferguson aka Fergie, 31, decided to reveal a few more of her 'craziest' secrets in the October 19 issue of Rolling Stone. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to me much of a revelation because she always talks about this stuff:

On word play:“When something is so, so sick, it’s risiculous. It’s sick and ridiculous. Risiculous. See, I have my own dictionary.”
Wow. That is pretty risiculous. ...for a 12 year-old maybe. She should really think about becoming a rapper. I bet risiculous would go over well in the rap world right now.

On her split personality:“Sometimes I can be tomboyish, and sometimes I can be girly. It depends on what mood I’m in. I like the balance. That whole woman/little girl thing. I like to play both of those.”
What she really meant to say is that she was born part man and part woman and on different days, the different genders are more apparent.

On her hip-hop influence:“In junior high I was fascinated by gangsta rap. I was suburban, yet I had glimpses from where I lived. I’m hearing all the stories about what was going on in East L.A. and South Central, looking at it from the outside. I think I come from a whole generation of that. That’s why a lot of people can relate with me, because they lived that, too. Seeing it but not really living it. So there weren’t any of the negative consequences to the guns and all of that. It was just interesting and sexy.”
I don't think she's smart enough for this, but do you think her intention of the word "sexy" was more of the abstract way of saying appealing and not the more common use meaning sexually stimulating/attractive? Whatever the case, ghetto, crime and guns are never really sexy in any context.

On her wild youth:“Me and my girlfriends would get ready, go out to the club, come home, change into my faux-fur coats and my sunglasses and rent a limo – spending all my child-actor money – and go to the club Garage that would start at 6 a.m. and dance till 12. Then I graduated to crystal. And it started being more about going to Home Depot at four in the morning and getting crafty at home. It became less of a fun thing and more of a habit.”
Here we go with the meth again...So how long until she gets over this habit of talking about her old habit?

On how she covered her meth habit:“I came up with the quickest explanation I could: bulimia. Everyone around me knew, and I didn’t care…I became more and more isolated, and it became more and more dark.”
Can I just say that Bulimia is the worst excuse EVER for a meth habit. Anorexia - absolutely makes sense. Bulimia, no.

On the photos that surfaced of her at a Peas concert with a wet stain on her pants: The cause? “Being buzzed” and having no time to use the restroom.
Um. Gross. That's just not right. Methinks it's the man part of her coming out! She is part of The Black Eyed Peeeeeeees. On bloggers:“There’s a song on the album called ‘Pedestal’ which is my answer back to people who don’t do anything with their lives but stay on the Internet for hours and talk shit about me. You just sit there and rip me apart, but I bet you didn’t know that I went to hell and back. Bet you didn’t know that. So this is a question to them: What are you doing with your life?”
Really, she was in "To Hell and Back"? The movie about Meatloaf's rise to success? No seriously, isn't it hysterical that Fergie has one "hit" album and she thinks she's better than everyone in the world? Forget that I'm educated and worked my ass off for a good job... What I'm doing with my life is not buying her album. I do think we're really getting to her! Oh well, she may have a hit album but at least I don't look like I have a monkey butt on my face. Not even a monkey face on my face. A monkey butt. On dancing alone in hotel rooms:"Yo, I’m having a dance-off!...With myself!"
Huh? Where did this even come from? Tweaker, what? This bitch is nuts, yo. [source]