Bad Advice

If I didn't know better, I would think Britney Spears grew up motherless being nursed as a baby by a wild wolf in the back of a barn only to be rescued by monkeys in her early adolescence. These weren't just ordinary monkeys, these were stage-monkeys with a vision to turn their rescued wolf-baby into a pop princess.

I know Britney wants to make a comeback. I think she'd done a fabulous job so far: ditched the weight, ditched the loser husband, cleared up the acne and showed up on Letterman to surprise the world with the best post 2 month-old baby body I've seen in a while. Problem: she hasn't done anything since then except go ice skating and put on a funny hat. Seriously, she's still wearing the same dress, wedding ring is still on, hair looks dirty... The girl is soooo close to being able to pull this off but she just screws up on the dumbest thingsDear Britney,
You made your statement. We know you're skinny. We know you don't like your husband. We don't like your husband. Go home, sleep, take a bath and take care of your kids. There's plenty of time for divorce publicity.

Love,
Someone who can obviously give better advice than your mother, assistant, bodyguards and other assorted handlers.

PS. For the love of God woman, cut that damn pom pom off the hat.