Products for A Fake Engagement

Woolworths is so confidant that Britain's Prince William will marry his live-in girlfriend Kate Middleton, they’ve invested in a line of merchandising promoting their non-existent engagement.They could have up to 100,000 items, including mugs, plates, tea towels and mouse mats on store shelves within 48 hours of a wedding announcement, according to the Daily Mirror on Friday. Other items include plastic dolls of the couple, fluffy slippers, mobile phones, wine glasses, thimbles and even a special range of sweets. Just what everyone needs – Prince William-n-his-bitch fluffy slippers! Souvenir-makers missed out on millions in sales last year because they did not have enough time to produce trinkets to commemorate the engagement of Charles to his long-time lover Camilla Parker-Bowles. "We missed an estimated 3-million-pound ($5.66-million) opportunity (but) this time we will be ready and we think the market could be worth up to 10 million pounds," Stephen Robertson, marketing director for Woolworths, was quoted as saying in the Daily Telegraph. The commemorative plates, white with an elaborate gold trim, feature a shoulder-length shot of the prince, dressed in a black dinner jacket, white shirt and white bow tie, next to a picture of Middleton in a stylish feather hat. Underneath the portraits in gold print are the words: "Celebrating the royal marriage of William & Kate", according to photographs of the plate in the two newspapers. The only thing missing is the date. ...and they call American's tacky??!!!???

Can somebody run this marketing plan by my family? They need to learn something about confidence. I don’t get little dolls commemorating my non-existent engagement, all I get are the occasional jeers intermixed with snide comments. For reference, I want to announce my upcoming non-engagement with commemorative macaroni and cheese (preferably of the 'easy mac' variety..but with shaped pasta). someone want to inquire about that for me? Thanks.