YOUR 15 MINUTES: Secret Sauce to Toss Your Salad

Remember when you were in school and still lived at home with your parents? Ok, now imagine taking this letter to them: I give the principal an A+ in letter writing. Can you imagine how long she agonized over how to say: Someone ejaculated in your child's salad dressing and your child may have consumed it? Oh the dinnertime conversations to be held...

Just in case you were wondering, this is what the little salad dresser looks like: [source]