YOUR 15 MINUTES: "But My Dog Hurts"

A Burlington woman has been charged with trying to get painkillers from a drug store by using her dog's name. Kymberly Smith, 38, faces more than two dozen charges related to her alleged repeated attempts to fraudulently obtain painkillers at a Farmington pharmacy under her dog's name. Police said Smith is charged with using her dog Zack's name to get Hydrocodone, which is marketed under several names including Vicodin. Simsbury police said Smith was also arrested in June after she was allegedly caught calling in a fraudulent prescription for the same drug. Call me crazy but it’s 2007 and I’m pretty sure they have some kind of database for this sort of thing. Farmington police said Smith was a veterinary technician for several area veterinarians when she began using their ID number to call in prescriptions for herself under the name "Zack Smith."

Which reminds me, I'm out of painkillers. Fortunately, I don't have to go the dog-as-a-human fake-prescription route but if I did, I'm sure it would go smoother than Kymberly Smith's tries. I'm definitely smarter than her. I mean seriously, two letters into her first name and she's already spelling it wrong. Although, I have to give her credit where credit is due – at least she didn’t try to fill a fraudulent prescription made out to “Spot Smith” or “Sparky Smith” or “Fluffy Smith.” [source]