The aliens must like 'em thick

Fat Fat Actress actress, Kirstie Alley claims that Scientology couldn't help her lose weight although it helped her kick a cocaine addiction:

She says, "It was different in that I developed a nutty attitude where I'd think, 'If some guy really loves me, he doesn't care if I'm fat.' Or, 'To be a good mother, you've got to cook and eat the food you give your kids.' "

Darling, it's not the fat that's the problem, it's the fug. On the plus size--er, I mean plus side--you know Tom Cruise is about to hire a hit man for that fat ass. Better use the rhino bullets.

[source]