They’re real pisssers I tell ya!

I learned today that a Hawaiian taxi-driver has gone public with some more Paris pissin’ stories. Apparently, the cabbie picked Paris and her giant Greek up at a party in Maui and a too-drunk Paris pissed herself. The cabbie cleaned up the mess with a towel which he now plans to use as DNA evidence against Paris. This dude’s been watching TOO much CSI or Forensic Files or something. Anyway, the Hiltons supposedly offered him $200 for the dripping piss rag just like any good parents would do…but he instead decided to bring this story straight to you. Now normally I’d be a little skeptical but I have some previous urine-mishap experience with our favorite trashtastic whore, Paris Hilton.

We all know Paris has delusions of being classy and behaves more inappropriately than a majority of the trailer trash in my home town. So, why did it surprise-me-not when little Miss Paris pissed her pants at Tao in Vegas last year? Although Paris denies it through the media, I was there and the story was confirmed. On another damp note… I think Paris should just take some advice from this bitch:

Fergie can’t control it so she just goes with it. In fact, the not-so-ladylike-lady will readily admit that sometimes she drinks a little too much and pisses herself on stage. At one point she said she drenched herself in a bottle of champagne to hide the wet spots. The first step to dealing with a problem is admitting it. Say it out loud, Paris “I’m Paris Hilton and I pee my pants” and then take your porn money and buy yourself some Poise Pads to keep those panties dry or pop a cork and let it flow! ...just not anywhere near me, k?