YOUR 15 MINUTES: Get your crack here!

Dear Sylvester J. Williams,

Hi. The next time you're sitting around in Kansas smoking crack and you get a brilliant idea, run it by one of your non-crack-smoking friends before you act on it, k?

They would've told you that getting business cards to promote your crack selling business is not the best idea. Let me tell you why. See, if the business cards have a picture of a boxing glove punching an alarm clock with the slogan "For a quick hit on time call the boss" and your personal contact information, that implies you're a crack dealer. When you hand out business cards people can get ahold of you. If the cops get the business card they can also call you and set you up. That's why you're in jail right now. You're basically advertising for business and advertising to get busted all at the same time. You do get an A+ for attempting to bring a little professionalism to the drug dealing world. Unfortunately you also get your name in the national news under "dumb criminal." Better luck next time. Your 15 minutes are up.

Sincerely,
xine

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