FASHION FIX: A Surpreme Outfit for Anna Nicole

What does a chicken frying', Playboy posing, reality tv mess of a pill poppin' bankrupt stripper wear to a Supreme Court hearing?

A knee-length skirt, black top, wool-ish coat, high heels, a cross necklace and black sunglasses. OMG are those pearl earrings she has on? How DC of her...

Boring, right? She actually looks like she could sorta be a Supreme Court litigant in the first picture. Mob boss' widow (very Scraton, PA/Jersey-ish) in the second. I was hoping she'd look a little more like the picture below and add a little Judge Joe Brown-ish reality drama to our top court:Anna, when faced with the pressures of court (on a mind-numbing dose of painkillers, of course) does what she knows best and loosens the straps on her dress, flashing the justices...except she has Lady Justice pasties covering up her nips. This causes complete turmoil in the courtroom! Just at that moment, a perfectly-timed Bobby Trendy kicks down the door, throws his hideous feather-and-tulle boa over one shoulder and carries Anna Nicole off into the sunset that blinds drivers everyday causing horrific traffic backups in the DC metro area on 395, 495 and 95. Bobby drops her off at the racetracks in West Virginia where she begins headlining a strip club until Howard K. Stern, her lawyer, comes to her rescue (can’t forget the K. or, Jesus forbid, someone might confuse him with the other Jewish Howard Stern, “King of All Media” radio perv.) When Howard sees her hanging upside down from a pole, legs wrapped around it, he realizes “she’s the one” and gets down on one knee to propose. Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” is playing in the background. This, of course, is the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to Anna Nicole and she says “yes”. Anna Nicole Vicki Lynn Marshall Hogan Smith Marshall Stern and Howard K. live happily ever after until a strange turn of events. The Supreme Court rules in Anna’s favor because they couldn’t ignore the fact that although she’s a bimbo, her stepson is a falsifier of documents and that’s just not legal. She then inherits the fortune and moves back to California leaving Howard K. to take care of her son from two or three marriages ago and her dog, Sugar Pie. She spends the rest of her days still NOT being the next Marilyn Monroe but having a hell of a lot of money to do whatever she wants including paying her really dyke-y old assistant, Kim, to be her lover.

Ok that was my daydream for this afternoon. If you want to know what happens in real life stay tuned for a decision...probably sometime this summer.