Forecasts say it's gonna be a little chilly in hell today

I go away for a business meeting for two days and look what happens....Freakshow Aguilera goes and makes herself all normal-ish:
Granted it still looks like Mrs. Bratman hit up my makeup bag circa 1996 and possibly a big syringe full of collagen in that upper lip. (What the fug is up with that mauve-ish lipstick? No girl should step near that color after 8th grade. The end.) Now don't get me wrong here, I'm glad little Miss X-tina (ugh) finally hit the bottom of that hideous tube of red lipstick that lasted two years too long...it's just that she looks shockingly plain. Like head cheerleader at a high school in Indiana. It's just not right. Or is it?

I just sit back and wonder if we could've avoided that whole leather chaps over tiny panties black/blonde rat's nest hair extension trying-to-find-my dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty sexual identity phase had she tied the knot sooner.