Johnny Weir is Queen of the World!

In case you haven't already met him, let me introduce you to US Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir. He’s 21, was born in Pennsylvania, grew up in Delaware, started figure skating at the late age of 12, sometimes says he's bisexual, has two Chihuahuas and is becoming famous for his wild costumes and even wilder comments. He’s flamboyant, ridiculous and says all those things you know male figure skaters are really thinking...and you’ve been waiting your lifetime to hear them say it. Below are some of Johnny's wonderful quotes.

Weirisms: (WEER-is-ums): totally inappropriate and hysterical statements by fagtabulous Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir.

On himself: "I'm not Jesus. I'm not for everyone. I'm not the establishment. Republican types probably don't like me."

On his costumes: "Care bears on acid” and "an icicle on coke"

On himself again: “ I'm an artiste.”

On his competitor: "They kind of sat back and had their cognac and cigarettes. His (Bradley’s audience response) was more like a vodka-shot-let’s-snort-coke kind of experience. "

On the weirdo red glove he wears: "His name is Camille – two l’s. I think he’s my evil side. When I skate badly, I blame it on my glove.”

On his room in the Olympic Village: ''I'm very princessy as far as travel is concerned, having a nice room and things like that. I hate carrying my own luggage. I hate trekking up stairs. I like a nice bed to be laid out for me, so it's not any of that. It's a little dusty, very under-decorated, the beds aren't very soft. But I'm enjoying it. I'm roughing it. It's the same thing as me going out into the woods."

On his room again: "It's very cramped and dirty. No matter how many times they mop it, and I've mopped it myself, it still feels dirty."

On his hair: ''My hair looks like this because there's very poor lighting in the [Athletes'] Village bathroom. Usually, I slick it back and I'm very professional.

On how preparing for his competition: "I slept for about five hours, then I got up and did my hair and put on my fake face."

On being an athelete: "I don't like to be called a jock. That makes me think of spandex-covered football players. It's not me. I'm in rhinestones and velvet, not spandex."

On his guilty pleasures: "Cocaine... I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Guilty pleasures -- I love a good steak. I love maxing out credit cards. I feel good when I do that."

On his mom's reaction to him being on the Olympic team: "My mom is getting drunk already."

On tanning: "Make sure you wear the hairnet. And make sure you don't shower for two and a half hours, not three. 'Cause three, for some reason, it sticks a little harder. But I've been doing the lay-down tanning bed, and where my butt cheeks push together there's a white triangle because it never gets tan."

On attempting the quadruple toe loop: "Well if I wake up and feel horrible, looking like Nick Nolte's mug shot, in that case, there's no quad."

On fur: "I love beautiful things, and if it means having a fur coat or diamonds -- or even if I want to wear a tiara someday -- then that's just the way it's going to be...I don't think PETA will ever realize that wearing fur is fabulous. But for now I think it is."

On fur again: (a reporter said he wore a boa) "That was a scarf, not a boa -- dead chinchilla, not feathers."

On the boa: "...all of a sudden I was causing a stir because I was wearing a chinchilla scarf that someone thought was a boa. First of all, boas are so out. Secondly, I would never wear a boa to a press conference."

More fur: Weir said fragrance giant Chanel or "something in high fashion, like a fur company" would fit best for an endorsement deal. "I'm not worried about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). The first time I see a chinchilla wearing a person, I'll stop wearing fur.

On designer knockoffs: "It hurts my feelings."

On coming back to win the short program: “You're feeling like the lowest scum in the pond two hours ago, and go to the prettiest flower in the pond.”

On Chinese skater Zhang Dan, a woman who fell horribly in the pairs competition: "That girl. I would buy her diamonds if I could afford it. I have no idea how she got up. It seemed like the type of fall that could render someone unable to have children."

On his performance: "It's over, it's done. It's Valentine's Day, and I can go out and buy myself a rose and some chocolate."

His purchases in Italy (probably not the most recent list): five pairs of shoes, a pair of rabbit fur hand warmers, a Dolce & Gabbana hoodie he says reads "Sex trainer: Best to practice seven days a week," and a sable scarf that was supposed to be $715 but was instead $415 because he spoke French with the saleslady.

On religion: He says he's been obsessed with the Holocaust since he was little and considers himself "a little bit" Jewish, although he isn't, not technically. He says he's had his past lives read and found out that most recently he was a Jewish girl from Poland during World War II.

On the twisted spoon he keeps in his Louis Vuitton purse: “It's mystical," he says. "There are powers in it." Just in case you were wondering he also has the following items inside the purse: a Louis Vuitton camera bag and a cell phone with three fur tails hanging off it (one beaver, two mink). There is also a Gucci change purse. He also has: nearly 40 pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage. A Louis Vuitton hatbox and a Louis Vuitton mini steamer trunk, and a Louis Vuitton doggy carrying case, which his dog did not like ("he peed in it"), so Johnny returned it and got another bag for himself.

I really like this guy. I have a sneaking suspicion that if Johnny Weir knew me in real life we’d be BFF. I don’t even need to make any comments about this because he makes them all for me.