Friday Hoff

Oh David, how you break my heart. I thought it was true love, what with your talking car, your internet music video and your super-stardom in Germany. The Germans have the most discerning taste you know. Of course you know, silly.

I dreamed that when your divorce was final, we'd finally be together, to run along the Baywatch sands in slow-mo.

But now this from the future ex-Mrs. Hoff:

She further alleged that in December of last year, Hasselhoff "grabbed me and pushed me hard into a car. In the past, he has also broken my nose and called me 'whore,' 'c--t,' 'bitch,' 'slut' and 'drug addict' in front of our children."


Es ist heraus hier für einen Kuppler hart.
(It's hard out here for a pimp.)