One Slurplicious Blind Vice
Hey, you raunchy-ass readers, have you missed our nose-candy-lovin' party-doll, Pixie Mixie? Me, too, kittens. And, apparently, there's a little something that Pixie herself has been yearning for: Sapphic tongue-tangling.
So, she indulged recently--and how. Yay for Pixie! Yay for us!
'Twas a chillin' night at a palatial pad belonging to one of Pixie's many fake friends. Just a few chicks gathered around the glass table, snorting and gossing--alas, not playing much mah-jongg, as these babes are way too young and tirelessly cool for that. Suddenly, assorted rail-thinistas looked across the room and saw P.M. making out, "hard-core, tongues heavy," with a gal-pal, so blurted one of the babes who hasn't eaten since Cher had her real body parts. Too hot.
Perhaps our daring dahling has grown tired of boys? Heaven knows she ain't had the greatest year in the man-love department. Or maybe there was some magical potion in the blow she was vacuuming up her delicate nose?
In any case, my dilated eyewitness has run around with Pixie and her pals for a long-ass time, and she offered her interpretation: "I don't think she was just screwing around. I think she's gay and repressing it." Oh, Pixie-doll, haven't you seen Brokeback Mountain? Don't you know what all that pretending will do to a girl's complexion/career?
It's not:
Um...wasn't Pixie Mixie supposed to be Nicole Richie or Mary Kate Olsen and then Morgan Mayhem was Lindsay Lohan? That was so long ago. Whatever the case, since Ted ruled out Ashley, Jamie and Jessica, and we know Paris has been with a girl, it probably is either Nicole, Mary Kate or Lindsay. That made me a little dizzy.
Somehow, even though I thought the original Pixie Mixie was Nicole Richie, I think he's talking about Lindsay with this one because she's young and she didn't go to college so it's about time for her to make out with a girl.
UPDATE: Blog viewer "oldwiseone" has suggested Mischa Barton as a potential suspect. Could Morgan Mayhem be Nicole Richie and Pixie Mixie be Mischa Barton?
4 comments:
If you look at the original Pixie Mixie vice...you see Ted say it is NOT Nicole Richie
I know but Ted is sneaky like that though. He's describing TWO people Morgan Mayhem and Pixie Mixie saying it's not Nicole Richie/Tara Reid, Nicole Richie/Paris Hiton, Nicole Richie/Nicky Hilton. If you think outside the box, that doesn't mean that the duo can't be Nicole Richie/Lindsay Lohan. I never thought he was ruling out the individual, just the combinations. He never uses pictures over and over like that so I believe it was intentional!
I like your "outside the box" thinking re: Nicole. He ruled out both the Olsen twins in the June 30/05 update (unless you rule out the combinations again). I don't think it's Lindsay Lohan b/c Ted describes Pixie as a "boob tube honey" on June 30. What about Mischa Barton as a possibility? Brandon Davis could have been the "quasi-celebrated" companion.
I am definitely spending too much time thinking about this.
You're WAY more educated on this thing than I am. I love it! I also love your theory about it being Mischa Barton. I've heard some rumors about her and the nose candy. The age would also be appropriate. Also, if my theory is right that one half of Morgan and Pixie is a team, Nicole and Mischa are friends.
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