Monday, March 13, 2006

Paris' SORE situation

Want to know the real reason Brain Quintana wanted a restraining order against Paris Hilton? Basically, she has herpes.

Brian Quintana, some unknown party planner slapped Paris Hilton with a restraining order after she threatened him because he told Stavros Niarchos (her boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever) that Miss Paris has herpes. Quintana wanted him to be aware that she had herpes to make sure he didn't catch anything. Apparently Stavros was aware but he hit that dirty puss anyway. Gross! When Paris-poo caught wind of this conversation true to form she flipped the freak out and said "This is between the three of us; if this gets out you're a f-ing dead man." He claimed that after the exchange, he began receiving suspicious phone calls and started to believe his life was in "imminent danger." Quintana also says Paris has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates and is known for erratic behavior. Um, duh! Hilton spokesman Elliot Mintz denied Quintana's allegations, telling Court TV: "She doesn't have herpes. She doesn't have a drug problem," and claiming Quintana was simply trying to humiliate his client in order to gain media attention. I mean seriously Elliot, you believe this? Everyone knows the girl is obviously dirtier than a gas station bathroom at the end of a blistering hot summer day.

So let's recap -- Paris Hilton has herpes, a drug and alcohol problem, shady associates, behaves erratically, prank calls people and now has a restraining order against her. Somehow I don't think anyone will know anymore than they did before they read this article. I just love the tad bit of irony in this situation: Paris' dumbass threatens a guy's life over him discussing her STD. The guy asks for a restraining order forcing him to testify about her STD thus causing Paris STD to become common knowledge. Before this incident it was just assumed that some disease was festering in her nether region. Now we can say with 99.9% accuracy (minus .1% for Mr. Mintz's questionable denial) that she should be paying close attention to those annoying Valtrex commercials. Hey, maybe once Hollywood realizes she's basically useless, she could expand her Paris Hiton brand to sexual health pharmaceuticals and become a Valtrex spokesperson. Who would be a better STD spokesperson than Paris? Yuck... I feel like I need a bath just from typing about her. [source]

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Next, Paris and Britney walk hand and hand into a bathroom barefoot together. Only Paris was just scratching her nasty sores and now Britney has the germs on her hand. She sticks a finger in her eye and now has herpes of the eye. She goes home, bangs K-Sped, gets pregnant and overpopulates the world with herpes ridden children. How's that for a nightmare?!