Pinocchio Paris

Paris Hilton was recently seen going into the Modern Institute Of Plastic Surgery in Hollywood but she claims "I wouldn't have anything done. Years ago I asked dad for a boob job and he said it would cheapen my image, and he's right. Fake boobs look deformed. All my friends that have them, they look deformed." She accomplished so much in that short statement: she lied (check out the transformation below), she proved she's delusional and doesn't realize she's a cheap whore like the rest of the world does AND she managed to say her friends are deformed-looking (with friends like her, who needs friends?) I'll believe the pictures I've seen of her walking into the clinic and this nice little nose job timeline:She also claims she doesn't drink alcohol when she goes out. That’s code for “I do coke in the bathroom.” She claims she just has red bull, dances and has fun. She said, "I see girls out now who have been doing it for so long they look haggard and old." Paris' secret is that she goes to the Modern Institute of Plastic Surgery. Duh, Paris, we’re not total idiots. See even though I know her statement about being sober is a lie, I'm ok with it. Paris would apparently rather have people think that she peed her pants at Tao in Vegas (a certain somebody was there to verify) and in the back of a cab because she has some sort of incontinence issue as opposed to her peeing because she was wasted (like we all know she was). That’s hot. Incontinence is hot.

I’m sorry, not only is she drunk in this picture but her outfit is too: The girl can’t even stand up straight and she wants me to believe she’s sober: With all these lies her hook snout is going to look like this:


Wouldn't that be fun?!?! God knows what she'd do with that thing... [source]