Truly, Madly, Deeply, Irrational

Dearest Dean McDermott,

I truly, madly, deeply appreciate your optimism. I don’t know many men who would get a tattoo of their girlfriend’s name on their wrist after a few short months of dating less than an entire tattoo portrait of her (from the boobs up) on their arm….particularly if that girl just divorced her husband after only a year of marriage and especially if that girl was Tori Spelling. Couldn’t you just carry around a picture of her in your wallet like the rest of the world? Or at least draw on the wrist tattoo with a Sharpie for a while to make sure it really is truly, madly, deeply? Don’t you know that when you tattoo someone’s name and/or face on your body you’re like 99% more likely to break up with them? Don’t you have children? Do you know how embarrassing it’s going to be for them when their classmates realize their dad has Tori Spelling’s face tattooed on his arm? My friend once got a bunch of ugly, impulsive tattoos in a very short timeframe. His excuse was that he was a yet-to-be-diagonsed bipolar. What's yours? Anyway Dean, just so you know this ranks at the top of the 'stupidity' chart along with tattooing on eyebrows/makeup and falls just below tattooing "fuck you" across your forehead. You’re a real risk-taker. In case you decide to laser off the Tori, keep the following information handy: Dr. Alex Kalpan from the Tattoo MD Clinic in LA (310) 312.1231. Best of luck with all of that.

Love,
Celebhijinx