Friday, March 31, 2006

Vein Complain

Why is Angelina Jolie too good to be true? She's like a bi-sexual, Brad Pitt girlfriend, former druggie, world’s sexiest woman, death-obsessed, humanitarian, millionaire, cutter, model, freaky sex-loving, mother-of-the-year, movie star icon. Not many people can pull of that level of irony…especially looking like that. She's proving my point again by being the most perfect pregnant woman ever. Do they have one of those "world's sexiest" contests for pregnant women? She's seriously only gained weight in her stomach. She'll go back to her old body as soon as Brad Pitt's love child wiggles its way out. Her boobs still look magically delicious. They’re not overly-swollen and she’s in her eleventyth month of pregnancy. It makes me sick. The good news is that if you look close enough there’s a flaw. Yes, a flaw in Angelina Jolie. In case you haven’t seen them before, she has arm veins only a heroin addict could love. Check that thing out. It’s not very photogenic. That whole vein thing is totally not a becoming trait for a 'world’s sexiest woman' title-holder....WWF title-holder,'s sexiest woman, not so much. Do they have some kind of vascular surgery to get rid of that problem? The least someone could do is invent some kind of Photoshop program for real life so we don't have to look at stuff like that.

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