Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Cautionary Tale: Don't Sleep with Loudmouth Jenny Shimizu

Butch-tastic (or maybe I should say bush-tastic) Jenny Shimizu is STILL talking about hooking up with Angelina Jolie 10+ years ago while they were staring in the movie Foxfire, doing heroin and cutting each other with knives. Now she's trying to get all Karrine "Superhead" Steffans on us and is continuing to talk about her sexcapades with other famous people. Of course all of this happened like 10 or more years ago because this woman cannot grasp the fact that she’s a has-been who looks more like this Asian boy who went to my middle school than a former-Calvin Klein model.

"It's most guys' ultimate fantasy to bed Angelina or Madonna. But I'm a girl and I was sleeping with both of them—at the same time. They were both sensational lovers who got incredibly turned on by the touch of another woman." Now don’t be mislead by this comment: Jenny didn’t have a 3 way with Madonna and Angelina...which might be mildly impressive...she was just two-timing them.

Apparently Jenny was Madonna's sex slave, on call 24 hours a day for red-hot action, she ‘married’ David Beckham's one-time mistress Rebecca Loos, made out with Naomi Campbell in 1996 and of course, in case you somehow forgot, she slept with Angelina Jolie. Get a job Jenny! I think Jenny is just waiting for HarperCollins to throw her some money for “Confessions of a 90’s Lesbian Starfucker.” [source]

1 comment:

dino said...

i like the jenny shitz-mu post!