Doncha Wish Your Pre-Teen Daughter Was Raw Like Me?

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone made a Pussycat Dolls doll. I just didn’t think Hasbro would be responsible for it and I was going with something more along the lines of “blow-up” rather than “Barbie-esque.” Yes, they want to target these dolls, modeled after women who look like tranny prostitutes and sing about being freaks, to the tween market (aka girls 10-14). It’s all part of a master plan: By the time these girls turn 15 they will have enough practice taking tiny, slutty outfits of dolls that they can start practicing on themselves. By the time they turn 18 we’ll have a whole generation of more efficient strippers.

Let's think about this for a second...they're taking a musical group that was essentially founded on a burlesque act (definition: a sexual performance that focuses on tease, humor and innuendo) that performed in clubs for men and women who are old enough to drink alcohol and they are now marketing this to pre-teen and teenage girls. "Brilliant" says the horny Hasbro executive with no young daughters. Nothing like turning burlesque into child's play -- lilterally. Anything for money, right? Daddy can go to the Pussycat Doll Lounge in Vegas and his daughter can stay at home and play with her Pussycat doll. Talk about mass appeal. Now to my next topic -- some people are saying the Pussycat Dolls are the new Spice Girls. My first question is: Why do we need NEW Spice Girls? Didn't we all have our share of that back in 1996? The Spice Girls sang about things like: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever friendship never ends, If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.” The Pussycat Dolls sing about “Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?” Seriously, I know the Spice Girls are cheesy and all but “don’t you wish your girlfriend was raw like me?” I don’t know where they were originally going with those lyrics but it makes me think of one of their slutty-looking asses all bent over a table getting banged by an endless line of guys. You know, raw in that Paris Hilton kind of way. So no, PCD, I bet my boyfriend doesn’t wish I was raw like you. I just hope they don’t try to put talentless hags in a tacky little movie a la Spice World. The only places these girls belong are on a pole or in a porn. [source]