Jess and her big fashion no-no

Jessica Simpson is being sued for $100 million. Guess why?

At first I thought maybe some Republicans were suing her as a fundraising tactic since she turned down their invite to a fundraiser. Then I figured maybe someone had the sense to sue her for being a bad actress and releasing pretty shitty music. Then I realized it was probably Nick was suing her because she cheated on him and destroyed their marriage. Then I thought maybe some crazy Christian group was suing her for 'false advertising' because Christian girls aren't supposed to get divorced. Then I assumed someone was suing her for being completely brainless since getting $100 million from a brainless person might not be that difficult. Then I thought maybe someone was suing her because they tried to live off her dessert skincare line. You know, generally they don't make shampoo and stuff edible since it's not food. That's an easy concept, right? Well I was wrong with all of these...

It turns out she's being sued because someone took it one step too far and decided that Jessica, who is hardly a singer/actor less than a fashion designer, really needed to develop her own hideously ugly clothing line for JCPenney and Sears. Now that the clothing line is failing, they're blaming her...

According to the complaint, filed in New York State Supreme Court by the Tarrant Apparel Group, Simpson inked a multimillion-dollar three-year licensing deal in December 2004 to launch a line of low-priced jeans and clothing. Under the terms of the agreement, Simpson was supposed to be "actively involved" in promoting the garb, including wearing items from the line at "public events, shows and appearances" whenever "reasonably practicable." However, it seems Simpson attended precious few events she deemed suitable for trotting out the affordable duds, leading the company to gripe that she "simply failed to provide the promised support." The company contends she even refused to be photographed wearing items from the JS by Jessica Simpson and Princy collections, and that when asked by the press to name her favorite brand of jeans at an event last year, she replied "True Religion," rather than "Princy." Princy jeans, which are named after the nickname given to Simpson by her father, retail for around $60, while True Religion jeans can set the denim connoisseur back upwards of $350. The claim states that Simpson's unwillingness to back the line crippled its marketing plan and caused it to lose valuable contracts with retailers. According to its court documents, the company has already shelled out $2.2 million in licensing fees to the singer-actress and has agreed to another $6 million in guaranteed payments.

Poor thing, I guess she drew the line at being whored out for an ugly pair of $60 jeans. I wonder what her father thinks about this? This just goes to prove how dumb she is: all she had to do was pretend to like the cheap, ugly clothes and she’d get about $8 million. If she had any acting skills at all she could've put them to good use right here... Although I doubt she’ll ever loose $100 million, she’s going to have to battle it out in court for a while. Drama. [source]