Paris-ite's Parasite

I often sit back and ponder what Axl Rose is doing with his life at any given moment. You may laugh, but I'm serious. Like what does Axl Rose do on a random night on the town? Does he hang out in trendy places in cities or can you find him at a dive bar doing karaoke to old Guns N Roses songs and a room full of ladies who still dress like they’re in the 80’s? My question was answered this morning by PageSix when they reported Axl was recently at Stereo seated near Fake Paris Hilton and NBA star Stephon Marbury. Yes, fake Paris Hilton is still pretending to be Paris Hilton. I thought it was cute for about 2 seconds during Fashion Week but this is starting to get really pathetic and a little scary. Her Paris Hilton freeloader ability allowed her to score a table in between a has-been (Axl) and a basketball player (Stephon). I guess this could possibly be a prime seat depending on how desperate one is for fame. Well her little plan worked perfectly until owner Michael Satsky approached fake Paris (former scores stripper and rumored prostitute Natalie Reid) and her sizable entourage, he realized "Paris" was a fraud. She was not only escorted out but was also permanently banned from the club.

If Natalie would just give up this charade, be herself, continue buying expensive clothing and accessories and make some connections with people in the nightlife scene she could be her own little version of Paris without acting like year-round Halloween. She could then get into Stereo and although she probably wouldn't have a table next to Axl Rose or Stephon Marbury, she would still be able to socialize there. Natalie sounds like she might have just as many non-existant brain cells as the real Miss Paris.

In other news, we all know Paris can’t master simple grammatical concepts like the difference between “your” and “you’re” but what I didn’t know is that she can’t even conceptualize how to open a car door. Look at her, she’s completely wedged in between that open door and the other car. She’s probably panicked like “this is so NOT hot.” I wonder if she set off an alarm on the other car.

Just for fun -- here's an oldie but goodie

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