Celebrity Clone: Ang n Paris

Some chick who really looks like Angelina Jolie as Angelina Jolie:


Good Old Natalie Reid as Paris Hilton:

Paris-ite's Parasite

I often sit back and ponder what Axl Rose is doing with his life at any given moment. You may laugh, but I'm serious. Like what does Axl Rose do on a random night on the town? Does he hang out in trendy places in cities or can you find him at a dive bar doing karaoke to old Guns N Roses songs and a room full of ladies who still dress like they’re in the 80’s? My question was answered this morning by PageSix when they reported Axl was recently at Stereo seated near Fake Paris Hilton and NBA star Stephon Marbury. Yes, fake Paris Hilton is still pretending to be Paris Hilton. I thought it was cute for about 2 seconds during Fashion Week but this is starting to get really pathetic and a little scary. Her Paris Hilton freeloader ability allowed her to score a table in between a has-been (Axl) and a basketball player (Stephon). I guess this could possibly be a prime seat depending on how desperate one is for fame. Well her little plan worked perfectly until owner Michael Satsky approached fake Paris (former scores stripper and rumored prostitute Natalie Reid) and her sizable entourage, he realized "Paris" was a fraud. She was not only escorted out but was also permanently banned from the club.

If Natalie would just give up this charade, be herself, continue buying expensive clothing and accessories and make some connections with people in the nightlife scene she could be her own little version of Paris without acting like year-round Halloween. She could then get into Stereo and although she probably wouldn't have a table next to Axl Rose or Stephon Marbury, she would still be able to socialize there. Natalie sounds like she might have just as many non-existant brain cells as the real Miss Paris.

In other news, we all know Paris can’t master simple grammatical concepts like the difference between “your” and “you’re” but what I didn’t know is that she can’t even conceptualize how to open a car door. Look at her, she’s completely wedged in between that open door and the other car. She’s probably panicked like “this is so NOT hot.” I wonder if she set off an alarm on the other car.

Just for fun -- here's an oldie but goodie

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Fake-Paris Hilton Infection: Day 2

Fake Paris Hilton aka Natalie Reid aka world's #1 Paris Hilton impersonator aka former call girl/Scores stripper aka my new obsession has a Friendster profile and...apparently no Friendster friends. How sad.
She wants Friends. Let's face it...nobody wants to be friends with the REAL Paris Hilton less than some Canadian hooker who runs around NY Fashion Week sadly pretending to be her.

I now present to you Fake Paris' very first nipple slip:Yes, somehow this dumb bitch managed to weasel her way into Versace with bodyguards and all....except it looks like she scraped together her entourage from a list of fat, registered sex offenders.

And just so you know, Fake Paris Hilton has issues too. She's a real girl with real problems...and REALLY bad sentence structure, grammar, punctuation and SPELLING skills (misspelled words highlighted and some comments I made in pink). Yep, she's just about as much of an idiot as real Paris. Here are some excerpts from her Friendster blog:

Today; is a rainy, gloomy, dramatic day; I have felt at odds with myself, all day...and usally the rain brings out some king of inner excitment; that can be childish at times, but it makes me feel good to be able to open up to that side, and other times I feel sexy, sometimes they coolide with eachother, and I walk like I am on a high, which no one can break, or seep through...

I took a spinning class, and this good-looking guy that has been after me for a while (checking me out, sometimes says hi.), I find him always approaching the ugly women, and I am thinking if he wants me, he can come get me! I have to be persued, because I am never interested in persuing. We took a spinning class together, and I was having trouble getting into it, I kept looking over at him, and was concerned that I looked beautiful...so My workout was half of what it usally is...and it isn't totally because of him, or maybe it is...but usally if I see a guy that I think might be hot, I find myself competing with him, and trying to have the better technique, or if I find a professional cyclist in my class I am at competion with them the whole class; stealing their techniques, and watching them the whole time.

I feel fat, because I am having issues with my food intake...I eat like their is a potential for obesity...and am always in the moment, feeling giulty after wards; it is like food has substituted drugs, and I feel so desparate for it; like I am still hungry, when in fact my stomach has had enough, it is never enough though...

And then their is love; I feel so empty without it; but I haven't had it for such a long time, like I have been without my family for years, and without a boyfriend to love me for almost 2 yrs...sometimes I am unaccustomed to living without a feeling of having people to care for me, and others; it is like I have a wound that normally has a band-aid on, but has somehow split open, and the wound is completly raw; volnerable to disease, and infection...

Eating...what's up? Ok, so naturally I am thin, and have a high metabolism, but the way that I eat, it is shocking that I am not obese. The thing is; that I have trouble with balance, and if I buy a box of 6 icecream sandwiches I will eat them all the first night, without even having a craving, and already being full. One minute I am obsessed with my calories, the next I can't stop eating. I will drink as much caffein as possible, to feel a speedy high, and also to become more obsessive about food; that I will control my intake...I have lost 25 pounds in one week; at one point in my life, when I was going through emotional trauma with an ex-boyfriend...I can't get over the fact that I lost that much weight, and am stuck on being that skinny all over again; but obviously not, otherwise I wouldn't be going through these binges. So when I had that boyfriend I used to cook alot, and we would also eat out alot; I would eat so much, that I would go to the washroom to puke it all up, going back to the table with watery eyes. I did this on and off for about 6 months. Now that I am not bulimic, or anorexic, I am binging...like tomorrow I might starve myself, but now in the moment I am in a need of overeating...

The best is her really long entry titled "The Big O" about the endless people she sees MASTURBATING in public including an "ugly, fat, girl, about the age of 12" masturbating in front of her at the gym.

So today I was at my gym on the Upper East Side, which is suppose to refreshing, and relaxing for me, and I am in the steam room, and the most disturbing thing happened...This ugly, fat, girl, about the age of 12, gives me this sly look, so I give her this dirty look; like, "what are you looking at me like that for, little one?!" Then just as I am about to walk into the sauna I notice that she has her hands down her pants. I am thinking I can't believe this girl! What is she doing that for in front of everyone? I am standing right beside her, and I can see her hands moving back and forth in her pants...totally disturbed; I say "Excuse me. Excuse me! Excuse me!! Hello!!!" She doesn't even look at me, and is at the point of moaning.... (insert about 10 more creepy stories she has about public masturbation) ... back to our story; so I tell the women that work in the change room what the girl is doing, and that I am no prude or nothing (classic), but there is a time and place for this sort of thing...this little girls pervertedness is ruining my relaxation...so they find her mother, who is in the shower, and tell her...the mother is calling the little girls name, while she is oblivious, and keeps at it...her mother goes about drying off, and seems like this is a normal thing, and could are less...then the girl proceeds to smell her fingers...Well I am jaded, and tainted, and after all of these other experiences, just when I thought that nothing could shock me anymore from this city...

She is a true literary genius I tell ya!

Paris look-alike has prostitute look-alike?

I’ve just been sucked into some weird Paris Hilton, stripper, hooker, look-alike vortex almost shutting down my brain for the rest of the afternoon.

It turns out that my new favorite whore, Natalie Reid aka world’s #1 Paris Hilton impersonator, was actually a whore at one point in time. Aside from being a stripper at Scores where she almost beat down another stripper named Paris (apparently the name Paris and Paris Hilton look-alikes are currently popular in the stripper industry) and going into a deep depression after Nikki Hilton visited the club on Natalie’s night off, it is rumored that Natalie worked as an ‘escort’ for Emperors’ Club VIP.

Apparently Emperor’s Club VIP advertised a Canadian escort on their website named “Melissa with "amazing physical beauty, high intelligence and the purity of youth," plus a photo of a Reid look-alike. When Page Six called the escort service they were told that she no longer worked there and that she had ‘moved on.’ I guess she moved right on to Screaming Queens Entertainment, the agency that employs her as a useless-human impersonator, where they claim “she never worked as an escort. She said that it must be somebody who looks like her."

If I were her I would've stuck with the prostitute gig. Making $800 an hour as a whore is much more glamorous than $700-$2000 a night as fake Paris Hilton.

On the other hand, if "Melissa the hooker" isn't Natalie, there's a Canadian prostitute out there somewhere that looks like a Paris Hiton look-alike. Maybe she could be world's #2 Paris Hilton impersonator.

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Will the real Paris Hilton please stand up? Good, now both of you go away.

Poor Natalie Reid. I used to think there is nothing worse in this world than being Paris Hilton. This all changed for me the other night when I was watching TV in my hotel room and came across a late-night interview on CNN or something (I was tired) with Miss Natalie Reid aka the world’s #1 Paris Hilton impersonator…hook nose and all. Yeah, you heard me right….this girl has taken the whole ubiquitous Paris Hilton Halloween costume to a new level.

Natalie, a “model”, apparently turned a few heads at NY Fashion week when she fooled some unsuspecting idiots at the Nicole Miller fashion show into thinking she’s really Paris. You can see a video here or read a little more about her here. In the interview I saw on TV, it appeared as if the highlight of Natalie’s life was bumping into Paris and Stavros outside Marquee and Paris said “you look so much like me, that’s hot.” Sad, isn’t it.

Has anyone noticed that “model” appears to be the new “unemployed”? I remember when people were called models because they actually walked runways and appeared on magazine covers. Now, as long as you have a picture of yourself in a bikini, you’re a model…which means with all of those trips to the beach I've taken in my life, I’ve technically been modeling since I was a child. Better add that to my resume.

...fake Paris (below) ..real Paris (below). How can I tell? Aside from the fact that Natalie looks like a Glamour Shots version of Paris, it can't be real Paris unless there's a little cooter hangin' out in the pic.

Oh and just in case you're having a party and want to ruin it by hiring someone more devoid of personality than Paris Hilton, Natalie rents herself out for party appearances through http://www.lookalikes.com/ and http://www.screamingqueens.com/