Breaking News: Britney is Pregnant

Stop the presses! Start the blogging! Jesus Christ Superstar...we've been talking about this for what seems to be months...basically since the Federsperm joined forces with her egg and mixed itself into another nasty omelet. She confirmed it for real, for real on David Letterman which will air tonight so you Brit Brit fans stay by your TV. If you have DVR like me, set it and forget it. If you don't care that much, this is what happens: Britney says "Don't worry, Dave, it's not yours." Letterman responds, "Oh. Well, I think that's good news for both of us." After Brit reads the show's Top Ten list, Letterman asks, "So, we've established now that you are in fact pregnant, is that right?" Spears replies, "Yes, sir." Well, I guess I just found my excuse for a 10pm martini time.

*UPDATE* It was supposed to be a surprise and I ruined it. They introduced her as Kurt Russell *surprise* and she came out appearing pregnant as all hell in a little black dress. She cleaned up ok but looked a little Ashlee Simpson-ish at times. I don't mean that in a good way. She has the reading skills of a 4th grader. During the Late Show Top 10 she pronounced "tamiflu" as "something" and tried to give up at number 4. Everything else was exactly like I said it would be. They should've had the top 10 be something about Kevin Federline using a condom. The first four could've been his children so they'd only have to come up with six more. When "reasons why Kevin Federline should use condoms" is the subject, coming up with six reasons is as easy as a day off school because of a snowstorm.