Breaking News: Madonna is Offending People.

Madonna has angered religious leaders by being 'crucified' on stage on the opening night of her world tour. Blah blah blah. The pop diva was 'nailed' to a 20ft glittering cross before singing her hit, 'Live to Tell', to a 20,000-strong audience in Los Angeles on Sunday. Oh, the horror! The controversy! What's she going to do next, wear a rosary as a necklace? Kiss a black Jesus? A Church of England spokesman is quoted on Britain's BBC website as saying: "Why would someone with so much talent seem to feel the need to promote herself by offending so many people?"

Um…let me tell you a little secret here church spokesperson: apparently you're the last person in the world to hear about this but this Madonna person you speak of is pretty much the most attention-seeking person ever. Madonna eats controversy flakes for breakfast. She’s been doing this shit since 1980-something. Why all the fuss now? It’s 2006. Plus it was a just a disco cross. She's 47 years-old and popped two kids out of her crotch rendering it uncontroversial…desecrating religious archetypes is all she has left. [source]