Brandon Davis Likes 'em Long

Brandon Davis’ grandmother, Barbara Davis, was at Kenny G’s birthday party this weekend in Malibu and she told guests that her grandson is now dating the girl that was the brunt of his famous alcohol-induced outburst where we all saw a rich, greasy man magically turn into a psychologically disturbed 13 year-old. Yep, Brandon Davis is supposedly dating Firecrotch Lohan. Once again, I know I promised to stop writing about Firecrotch but I can’t. For some reason I like this saga. Barbara says Brandon took Lindsay out for dinner last weekend. The publicist de Firecrotch responds to this with:

"It is unfortunate that Barbara Davis is desperate enough to make up a lie about Lindsay dating her grandson. Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon's apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."

Good job Leslie Sloan, you basically just reassured everyone that Lindsay a tad bit slutty. A statement like “(INSERT ANY GIRL’S NAME) is dating several men who live overseas” cannot be good for a reputation. I hope these “several men” overseas already know about each other or Lindsay might have to cancel a plane ticket or two. I really hate to use the “daddy issues” platform two days in a row but Lindsay has widely publicized daddy issues and she seems like the kind of girl who doesn’t take male rejection well. Something tells me she’d go to dinner with Brandon, sleep with him (or something to that effect) for his approval and not share all of this with her publicist. She should at least sleep with him to prove she doesn't have a 7 ft long clit. I hope by now she got herself a wax to put out those "flames". In her defense, Lindsay is only 19 and Paris Hilton is essentially the puppeteer in this show – I don’t expect her to react like a normal person. I also never expected Kenny G to somehow saxophone his way into the Firecrotch drama! [source]