Celebrity Hijinx: No Blogger Left Behind Act 2006
Celebrity Hijinx is taking initiative for blog reform! The number of online blogs increases daily, while there is little accountability for the quality of the blogs. Even long-established bloggers with over-inflated egos make atrocious grammatical errors on a regular basis. We’ve decided to follow our education system and implement the No Blogger Left Behind Act of 2006 (NBLB). Of course we have extremely low expectation for our NBLB, just as we do Bush’s fundamentally punitive No Child Left Behind (NCLB) monstrosity. While we hold Celebhijinx authors to a higher standard and provide ways for them to demonstrate they are highly qualified, we will begin our first round of standardized testing to assess our readers on their subject-matter competency.
We will be using the format W : X :: Y: Z. It reads W is to X, as Y is to Z.
Here is an sample question:
Celebhijinx : blog :: American Idol :
a. website
b. a waste of time
c. a new car
d. a waste of time television show
Now put your mouse down and wait until it's time to start. Ready. Go.
Question 1:
Paris Hilton's left eye: wonky :: Sienna Miller's left boob :
a. perfect
b. also wonky
c. fake
d. too big
Question 2:
Dina Lohan: desperate mom with bad horse veneers :: Perez Hilton :
a. the key to the missing link in the evolutionary chain
b. desperately in need of a laser neck hair removal treatment
c. good choice for lead ape in Planet of the Apes 2
d. all of the above
4 comments:
1. b. also wonky. does she really look like that? can't she get that fixed with all of her money.
2. d. all of the above. that dude is seriously a grotesque mess. if the world wanted people to stop using the internet they'd post pictures of him naked on a website somewhere.
Awesome post!
I'll also go with 1b and 2d. But maybe it's the right boob that's wonky.
It takes a special person to assimilate asymmetrical boobs, oversized veneers, neck hair and current legislation.
I thought about "left vs. right" for a while...primarily because I just really like looking at boobs. I decided that I liked her right boob (which is on my left) better so that's why I went with wonky left. See, it's scientifically proven. :)
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