A Country Weddin' Down Under

Nicole Kidman's payback wedding to Keith Urban will supposedly happen this weekend in Australia. When the marriage ends, these are supposedly the terms:

Nicole is worth about $150 million, has had her hubby-to-be ink a lowball prenup that guarantees him a kiss-off of just over $600,000 a year for every year they are together. In addition, there's a clause that allows her to bail without giving Urban, an ex-cocaine addict, a cent if he uses illegal narcotics or boozes excessively. The agreement, signed in Los Angeles earlier this month, also calls for joint custody of any kids the couple has together, although Urban would be prohibited from taking them out of whatever country Kidman is living in.

Isn't that romantic? The sweet smell of a prenup on a warm summer day. Nicole is having a Catholic wedding as opposed to her creepy Scientology wedding that ended in annulment. How does one annul a marriage that lasted almost 10 years? Just asking. I'm sure this wedding is going to be a total cheese-fest. She reportedly had her bachelorette party at her sister Antonia's home -- the women shared recipes. Boooring. If all my sister could pull together was a recipe party at her house I think I'd smack her...even if it was my second fake marriage we were celebrating. So, if you're reading this Colleen, no recipe parties. Not even recipe parties with martinis. Hell, I don't even cook. Wait, why does Nicole Kidman cook? She has over $150 million. People should cook for her. On demand. Sounds like her sister, Antonia, needed a few recipes for herself. If I was Nicole Kidman's sister I'd probably need a little comfort food too. [source]