One Girlie Galore Blind Vice

Okay, all you hell-raising heathens, tongue-dripping turnabout is more than fair play. Last week, we covered the taboo private-parts doings on the dude side, this time round, we're tackling what the gals are up to, naughty-time-wise. Or one very, very famous sweetie-poop, that is. Slurpa Pop-Off is quite beautiful--and big-time tush-shakin', too. She also has a penchant for bedding every stud in the Western Hemisphere on whom she lays her pretty little beady eyes--always successfully, I should inform you goss-babes.

But here's the kicker in the squishy parts: S.P.O. is, ironically enough, only so-so interested, as far as the guys go. It's just for press. In other words, what makes Ms. Pop-Off see stars and have the kind of orgasms Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan and Helen Gurley Brown all made famous are other girls--specifically honeys who, as Madonna likes to say, prefer to dine in. Get me, babycakes? I'm certain you do if you've been the least bit of a Sex and the City student.

And get this: In one of those impossibly trendy little clubs at which Ms. P.O. likes to boogie down, Slurpa hit the ladies' room, as she is wont to do. But not to relieve herself!Nope. Instead, in one of those ridiculously peekable stalls, S.P.O. got a blow on, while another gal in the same toilet compartment blew Slurpa. How do I know this? Slurpa, totally sloshed, per usual, actually forgot to close the stall door. And just as Ms. Pop-Off was screaming to the endorphin-bestowing goddess inside herself, someone else walked in the damn bathroom. Slurpa, total slut pro she be, just kept right on--at high volume, too. Oh, my. Think even I'm getting a little excited. It's not:
Here are the obvious guesses: Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, etc.

My guess: I confess! It was me. I'm a little embarrassed that I forgot to lock the doory but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Ok, who do I really think it is? I bet it was Paris with her little friend Caroline D'Amour. Here's a nice little collage of Paris and Eglantina Zingg, Nicole Lenz and her new pal Caroline. Ted says the guy thing is "for press" and everything Paris does is for press.