Please Let This Be The Demise Of Lindsay Lohan's Career So I Can Move On With My Life

I've been picking on Lindsay Lohan all week. I don't know if I'm jaded from my recent business-trip-hotel-room viewing of The Parent Trap or if there's just nothing else to write about. It's not like there's anything important and newsworthy happening in the world...like people trying to blow up passenger jets flying between the UK and the US or things to that effect. In a response to Morgan Creek's laments about Lohan's dubious work ethic, an anonymous crew member from Lohan's 2005 flick, "Herbie: Fully Loaded," has posted a letter on worldofwonder.net

The new note from the "Herbie" crew member claims, "Her behavior [on 'Georgia Rule'] is exactly the same inconsiderate shit she pulled on the 'Herbie' production. She stayed out all night, and then the doctor announced that Ms. Lohan had asthma the next day. She played the exhaustion card a couple of times . . . She called in sick one day and . . . she is across town [spending] a day with her then-boyfriend [Wilmer Valderrama] of 'That '70s Show.' " The "Herbie" insider continues, "Another day she has the 'doctor' call in Ms. Sickie's fake ailment, because she was shooting her own music video the night before . . . The Princess was able to make the production [crew] re-create the desert race sets closer to the Four Seasons [hotel]. She said she had signed on 'to do a film in Los Angeles' and El Mirage was too hot and too far. She is a brat." Of course, Lindsay's rep refuses to comment until the masked letter-writer reveals his ugly face or until Lindsay gets fat and puffy again and reinstalls her giant, fake boobs.

In other news, rumors are spreading that her hard, crazy partying may get her booted from her posh L.A. home base, the Chateau Marmont. "They are trying to kick her out. It is very disruptive with all of her friends coming in and out and her late nights," said a source. Another insider added, "Even for the Chateau, it is too much." Too much for the Chateau? Wow. So Lindsay is doing things worse than dying of drug over dose in a bungalow, falling out a window, driving motorcycles through the lobby, etc? On a contradictory note, Lohan pals hope her new beau, Harry Morton, will have a "calming" effect on her. Please, he's a boyfriend, not a bottle of xanax. A friend of Morton says he's a "sober, nice guy. He doesn't drink or do drugs and actually has a day job and works very hard." A day job owning Pink Taco restaurant. If my life experience has taught me anything it's that sober, nice men speak in vagina-euphemism-free vocabulary...especially at work. [source]