We know, Jess, your cup size is bigger than your IQ

Actual quote from Jessica Simpson: "At school, my boobs were bigger than all my friends' and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They're like an accessory."

Actual quote from Joe Simpson: “She’s got double Ds! You can’t cover those suckers up!” (That one makes me a little sick.)

Actual quote from The Onion: ""I cannot underestimate the terrible impact my breasts could have on my career if they are not visible at all times, whether appearing in a provocatively low-cut gown or string bikini in my next video, or even bare in an indie movie, which would be a particularly daring career move."

The Onion has skewered said pop princess with a whithering satire piece entitled "Celebrity Launches Own-Breasts Awareness Campaign." Click below to read the whole thing--it's good for a laugh.

[source]