Momma's Drama

I returned late last night from almost a week in Boston visiting Dino (Julia decided she'd rather hang out with Ben & Jerry in Vermont. The girl is crazy) and of course Lindsay Lohan had to completely outdo my vacation with her drama. First Lindsay joined her mom, the White Oprah, for her 102nd birthday celebration at Phillipe on East 60th Street:

"Lindsay got a call from her mother telling her to come to the party," said a spy. "Lindsay didn't want to go, because her mother was drinking already, but she went anyway." "When Lindsay got there, her mother and her four friends were into their second bottle of Cristal," said a restaurant-goer. "Right after the first course, they started fighting." The two began cursing each other in front of other patrons in the crowded Chinese eatery, including Ryan Cabrera, Brandy and Serena Williams at nearby tables. "A mortified" Lindsay finally told her mother to "go to hell!" before she exited. After Lindsay left, Dina started "crying and shaking . . . Dina typed vigorously on her BlackBerry for 45 minutes while her friends were just sitting there, and when the birthday came out, she broke out crying again - even louder." Dina reportedly made many trips to the bathroom, likely to blow her nose with some toilet paper not to put blow up her nose in the toilet stall. In true WT style, Dina didn't leave a tip on her $2,000 bill.

I'm sure the whole exchange went something like this:

Lindsay: Mom, you're a bigger drunk than me. Can't you seriously stay home with me on your birthday instead of going out with your old, wrinkly friends? Stop spending my money.
Dina: I brought you into this world and I can take you out.
Lindsay: Great, my dad is in jail and now my mom wants to kill me. Mom, you're just jealous. The only reason you're famous is because of me.
Dina: Fuck you you freckled bitch. I'm less freckly than you...that's something that you'll never have.
Lindsay: I'm not paying for this bill. GO TO HELL.
Dina: Yeah, bitch well I'm still the White Oprah.

Then a day later, the bitch falls at Fashion Week and fractures her wrist in two places. According to Leslie Sloane, her publicist, Lohan slipped while walking in an outdoor area in flat Chanel boots. Her driver immediately rushed her to St. Vincent's. She slipped in flats!? And broke her wrist? If you are an avid reader of Celebrity Hijinx, you'll remember that I recently wiped out on a brick sidewalk in 5 inch heels and a skirt. I walked away with a scraped knee, sore hands and a severely bruised ego. This weekend, Dino had a similar incident except he fell on cement steps and he wasn't dressed in 5 inch heels or a skirt. Note: neither one of us had to be "rushed" anywhere.

She should look into trading her Mercedes for an ambulance. This is the second time she "slipped" this year. This story is a lot less crazy than the last time when she and her friends were preparing breakfast, with eggs and everything at Bryan Adams' house and Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup. She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it was shattered, and one of the pieces cut Lindsay in her shin.

Sloane says "there's a pending investigation," because Lohan claims that Milk Studios didn't take adequate precautions to cover the slick ground. And I'm sure Lindsay didn't take adequate precautions to be sober enough that she doesn't fall flat on her face. Sloane added that her client had been scheduled to go back to LA for movie meetings, and that her "lawyers are looking into" the situation because the accident may have affected her ability to work and attend some of the meetings. According to reports, her mom drove in from Long Island to the hospital and has been with her ever since. Anyone else think Lindsay is hurting herself for mom's attention?