Throw the Book at Her. Don't Worry, She Can't Read.

Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood early this morning for allegedly driving under the influence. Officer I. Isabella told the Associated Press that Paris was pulled over just before 12:30 a.m. because she was "driving erratically."

"The officers observed that Hilton exhibited the symptoms of intoxication," Isabella read from the police statement. "A field sobriety test was conducted at the scene and the officers determined she was driving under the influence." Paris said she was just in a hurry to get an In N Out Burger. Elliot Mintz, her overworked PR person, said she'd had one margarita at some charity event and that her symptoms were "probably the result of an empty stomach and working all day and being fatigued." Click here to watch Elliot make his statement to the folks at TMZ. OOOOO ooOh the infamous "fatigued/exhausted" line!! Why is it that lower class women working 3 jobs and raising 2 kids are never in the hospital complaining of "fatigue?" I'll show you fatigue, Paris. I'll grab you by your vaginal piercing and drag you around some poorer neighborhoods where people actually work for a living and have a reason to feel beat up.The only thing that's beat up about her is what's between her legs. Just ask Rick Solomon. He beat that pussy up. I saw it.

Cops took a booking photo, which and LAPD spokesperson says will not be released. An LAPD source would not confirm it Paris glammed it up for the camera, but revealed "It doesn't look like Nick Nolte." That's hot.

[source]