Celebrity Deathmatch 6: A Fist vs. Paris Hilton's Face

Dino and Xine thought this story was SO important they both wrote about it. Here's all the fun stuff conveniently packaged into one blog:

Dino's Version:
Oh gurrrrrrrrrrl. I'll tell you what... there's no way in hell I'd start a fight with Shanna Moakler, who you might remember is the one girl on the planet that could "turn me." I think I said something like I'd like to slap some oil on those tig'ol biddies, and ride that wave... or something to that effect. Anyhow, Shanna and PARIS Hilton got into a fight early this morning, and they've both filed seperate police reports. Click on the picture to see Shanna on tha phone with the cops. Paris says that Shanna punched her in her grill, and Shanna says that STARVOS dumped his drink in her face and shoved her down some stairs. I'll fuck Starvos up. There's speculation (what is there to speculate about?) the bad blood between Paris and Shanna is over Paris' makeout session with Travis Barker, Shanna's soon-to-be ex-husband. This is the first picture, and I know it sux... of Travis and Paris makin out. Nasty. [source]

Xine's Version:
I now officially love Shanna Moakler. I don't care if she's a lazy bitch who parties and lets a nanny raise her kids. Quite frankly, I'd probably do the same thing if I had kids so who am I to judge? Here's the story:

Elliot Mintz, Paris' publicist/butt buddy/only friend/designated driver, tells TMZ that his client was at Hyde nightclub Wednesday night and at approximately 1:10 a.m. she says she was approached by Shanna, who allegedly began screaming obscenities at her. Hilton says at that point Moakler struck her in the jaw with a closed fist as she continued to shout profanities. Mintz says Moakler was restrained and several people helped Paris exit Hyde. Mintz says Hilton never touched Moakler. Mintz and Hilton then went to the LAPD's Hollywood Division where she filed a police report, alleging battery. We're told Moakler also went to the station to file a report against Paris' companion that evening, Stavros Niarchos, alleging that he poured a drink over her head. Good times! A source tells TMZ that Moakler alleges that Niarchos shoved her down some stairs. Police took photos of both women at the station, though it's unclear if either showed visible signs of injury. Some of the dancers from "Dancing with the Stars" witnessed the incident. Moakler was a contestant on the show but has already been eliminated from the competition.

Boy, Elliot is certainly earning his overtime pay. I wonder if the poor man sleeps or shoves meth of his nose and keeps him on-call 24/hrs a day... Anyway, I think Shanna just won over the heart of the world in one closed-fist punch to the mouth. Let's hope she at least learned some strong moves from Oscar de la Hoya while she was fucking him. Superficially, this looks like a bad move on Shanna's part (considering the so-far nasty divorce), but I don't think it is. Fighting is generally not good divorce publicity but fighting Paris Hilton will up the Nielsen ratings by about 232% during any circumstance. Regardless, Paris deserved to be punched, for a good number of reasons. In fact, Elliot should've punched Paris before they even went out for the night considering that contraption she's wearing. Leg warmers are so 1984 via 2003.